Really and truly, do you not get tired of having all the stuff these kids carry in to your home every morning? I know I do. I mean come on - FOUR or FIVE additional items to add to the essentials. It's not bad enough that I have to keep track of whose diapers belong to whom, whose extra clothes belong to which child, what coat, shoes, sun hat, winter mitts and hats, etc etc are allocated to each individual but I also have to be accountable for all of the paraphernalia they cart along with them each and every day?
Every child has one object they adore. And, if I was honest I would tell you that I really don't mind a child carrying around their special blanket or their small stuffed zebra. However, I draw the line at a child showing up clinging for their dear life to an unopened phone bill envelope from home. Okay, is the possession of a phone bill really necessary? Is it really appropriate for a child to carry around an envelope for the next nine hours? What happened at home that perpetuated this situation? I know their home has plenty of toys. I've seen them all show up at my door step at one time or another. No, it's not a lack of toys that allowed for a two year old to be carrying the family phone bill. Perhaps a lack of parenting is at play yet again. Gasp......"Why does that mean lady keep saying that parents are always at fault? She's not very nice is she?". Yes, I AM a mind-reader!
If it's not a lack of parenting then who is in charge in your home? Is there someone else there who is responsible for the decision making when it comes to who gets to carry around your household bills? Yeah, I think you're getting it now.
There came a point recently on a particular day wherein I had five children in care. Accompanying these five children were a combined total of 12 items; 3 blankets, 2 soothers, 1 sippy cup, 2 dolls, 1 Bell phone bill, 1 feather, 1 old cellphone, and a life-sized Winnie The Pooh. Are you kidding me? How the hell am I supposed to keep track of all of these items? Something snapped inside of me that morning. I couldn't take it one more minute. I could barely see the children for all the crap they had in their arms. I took each and every diaper bag, went over to each child and had THEM put their belongings in the bag. Was I popular? Um...No, but I'm getting pretty used to that role. Were there a lot of tears and some screaming? Yes, there certainly were. I put all of those now over-stuffed bags in the closet and corralled everyone into the playroom.
Something strange happened that day. The kids played, they were happy. There wasn't anyone sitting in the fuzzy chair all day clutching an object like life as we know it would end if it were to disappear. It was amazing. And another funny thing happened too. Not a single child asked for those items that day. And the next day every child came into my door still carrying their myriad of things. I simply held out their bags and the children put their items in the bag themselves. No tears, no tantrums. They knew better than to throw the same fit with me that they had done five minutes previously with their parents in order to get the phone bill to my home yet again. They knew that crying and screaming would result in the same end - the items would still be in the bag.
Now I still have a closet full of dolls, blankets, soothers, and enormous stuffed toys but they stay there all day. The parents know this and most of them are okay with it. There are a few who think I am a daycare Nazi. I'm okay with that too. And should they decide to bring up the subject I will be open to compromise. I will simply give them an option - "What would you prefer, that I keep track of and care for your phone bill or your child?". Either one is fine with me.
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