You Know You're A Daycare Provider When....

We've all been there - those times when you suddenly realize that your job as a daycare provider has completely encompassed your life. It is in these moments that you find yourself break a smile and laugh.

My most memorable one of these moments was at a time when, every day, I piled up all of my daycare kids in the van to do two school runs. It was a Saturday so of course I had no one in care that day. I was on my way to the grocery store. The weather was beautiful, the windows in the van were down and I was alone. Oh, how I was cherishing that hour of solitude even if it was just a trip to the grocery store.

While driving I was taking in the view of the opening spring flowers and the people who were enjoying their yards after months of hibernation. I was singing along to the CD player and feeling the wind in my hair. I pulled up to a stop light and peered down at the two young men in the very nice car in the left turn lane next to me. They were looking at me very strangely and that's when I realized it - Oh....My...God! I was rockin' away to The Little People On The Farm CD. How utterly embarrassing. I don't know what was more damaged - my dignity or the sudden realization that my entire life had been encompassed by daycare. What the heck had happened to the person I thought I was?

There are so many other times I could think of that demonstrate how easily we all get wrapped up in our jobs. Although we might only work fifty hours a week I doubt that many of you have forgotten about daycare all of the other hours of the week. Below is a list of tell-tale signs that you are in way too deep my friend. If you recognize yourself in any of the following examples I recommend a spa day far, far away from anyone who is less than five feet tall.

Baby Days - If you get excited when the Sears flyer comes to your house advertising Baby Days sales and your own kids haven't worn a diaper in five years you are too far gone for help.

Yard Sales - I can spot these people and recognize them as providers each and every time. You're the women whose husband is driving and doesn't want to stop at every yard sale on the 100 km trip to Canada's Wonderland. You, however can't help yourself. Who knows, there might be a sand table or a riding toy just waiting for you to scoop it up. You are the ladies whose head is out the window and hair is flapping in the wind like a dog on a summer car ride as your hubby quickly speeds by the property in question. You steal a glance and wonder the rest of the trip if that really was a folding Little Tykes table you saw.


Kijiji Watchers - You comb Kijiji like a stalker. Every mom in a 50 km radius knows who you are because you are the first person to respond to any add under the 'Toys' section.

Provider Stalkers - Every time you pass by a park or playland you can instantly spot the provider. It's like opening up a 'Where's Waldo' book. You know within thirty seconds who is the provider and you do the additional book finds by pointing out every child at the park who is in her care. This also applies if you know of all the providers in your neighbourhood if only by their address because every time you pass by her property you glance into her yard to check out her stock of daycare toys hoping that one day she has a yard sale.

Private Park - If your backyard is a cooler place than the neighbourhood park you are surely a daycare provider. In fact, I will admit I am guilty too. I have even used the line, "We don't need to go to the park. There's one in my backyard", on those busy days when I don't have the time or ambition to load everyone up for a two hour excursion.

Seek And Find Shopper - These are the people whose shrill scream of delight you hear from seven aisles away in the grocery store. This woman has just discovered, the day after Easter, that all of the Pillsbury Easter cookie dough sheets are on clearance at fifty cents each and the activity possibilities are running through her mind at warp speeds.

The Hoverer - We've all done it. We're at the park and one child who belongs to someone else is climbing too high or running to the road while the mom responsible for the child is too busy on her cell phone. You're the person who keeps running after the child or coaxing them to come down because they are too high. You're also the woman who isn't shy about telling the ten year olds at the park that "slides are for going down not up".

The Transporter - If you own anything with wheels that is not sold by the tanking automotive industry that accommodates more than three children at one time you are surely a daycare provider. This should be readily apparent by anyone else as well. I always love it when I am asked by someone if they are "all mine". Yeah, I'm insane and have the miraculous ability to pump out seven children in less than four years.

Windows 2010 - You are a better multi-tasker than Bill Gates could ever incorporate into his best selling operating system. You have the uncanny ability to change a diaper, answer the phone, wipe a nose, tell the child on the table to get down, all the while monitoring the playdoh area in the corner. I don't know about you but every time I try to get windows to do that many things at once my computer shuts down. Sadly, we don't have that option.

If you have recognized some of your own attributes in the examples above I encourage you to get help. Get in your car and drive in solitude far, far away from everyone else. Oh, and for goodness sake, take out the CD.