Fidel Castro has some stiff competition. Too bad he couldn't hold out for another ten years before passing the torch on to his brother. If he had waited he would have found a far better candidate. I know - the candidate is one of my daycare kids. Or, I could always substitute in a pinch.
What is it with the manipulation criers? You know who these kids are. They're the ones who can turn on the tears and stop a freight train in its tracks the dramatics are so compelling. Or, in the case of an audience of two years old they can get you just about anything you want as long as you'll shut up and stop crying so they don't have to walk around covering their ears all day. Yep, crying works. Well, it works that is, as long as Miss Judy isn't your caretaker.
Although I have never been to Cuba I am familiar with their political system. I'm also familiar with the American base of Guantanamo Bay. I like Guantanamo. It's a great facility that merits mimicking. In fact, I have my own Guantanamo set up here at my daycare. It's called 'The Crying Spot'. I love it. The criers hate it. The rest of the non-criers have great respect for its usefulness too.
Why am I telling you about my personal Guantanamo Bay? Ah heck, someone who reads here daily has accused me of being a dictator. Might as well live up to my name! Besides, I had a great role model who was the epitome of the old "sticks and stones" adage. Hey, thanks Nana! Looks like I need to go back to those old teachings.
Alas, I digress.....
The crying spot is used a lot by one particular child. So much in fact that I am utterly surprised that she hasn't tried to give it her personal touch or attempt to carry in escape worthy items during each visit. You never know when the heel of a dress up shoe or a Barbie doll leg might come in handy. But then again, she's only three. Craftiness seems to come along with cynicism in situations like this. She still has years to perfect her craft.
So, what is the crying spot you ask? It's really quite simple. Fifty bucks and a small room and you can have your own Guantanamo style "detention and redirection unit" too. Just visit your local Wal-mart and pick up a playpen and you're in business. I will tell you upfront however that there are no instructions for its special intended purpose. Those instructions, along with the CIA and Marine Force Manuals are top secret. But I don't have to worry about silly things like court marshalls and dishonourable discharges so I am more than happy to spill the beans. Detention and Redirection Units are simple to use. And, if I might add - very effective too. Just follow the simple directions below and before you know it the U.S. Secretary of Defense, Mr. Robert Gates will be calling you up for advice and guidance.
I will advise you however, that the "unit" is only intended to be used on those children who fail to understand the consequences of their actions after all other methods have been employed. When they start to become a threat to Daycare Security and the mental and emotional state of the other kids it's time to pull out the big guns.
Step One
When the child starts to ball her eyes out simply because her sister has chosen to stand up instead of stay seated in the chair beside her give the "last chance look" to the child. This should put her on notice that you are watching her like a surveillance team on an Afghan cave dwelling.
Step Two
When the child does not heed the warning but continues to turn up the faucet to maximum output you need to start the engines of that Black Hawk helicopter. Swoop in, with no warning, pick up the child and take her to the 'unit'.
Step Three
Like a Navy Seal on a night mission stay silent while placing her in the 'unit'. Keep the door open a crack and walk away.
Step Four
When the child has successfully stopped crying for two minutes walk back in, say nothing and remove the child from the 'unit'. Upon exit from the room let her know how appreciative you are that she has stopped crying and that she is now free to go about her play.
Step Five
Repeat steps one through four as necessary until the "last chance look" is all that is needed in future episodes.
See, it really was that simple. No harsh words, no threats. Just actions. And it really does get the point across. Hey, maybe the U.S. could save a lot of money in the defense budget if they just paid me a visit and then headed over to Wal-mart. Ah, no, I can't take credit for this knowledge. I'll have to give that to Fidel. Besides, credit given to me here on this blog for being a successful dictator is praise enough.
For concerns, advice or suggestions I welcome your email at judytrickett@yahoo.ca
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