Liar, Liar, Pants On Fire!

When is a lie a lie? Is a lie still a lie when it serves the greater good? Is a lie still a lie when it is done to avoid unnecessary confrontation? When is a lie not a negative but a step to do what is in the best interest of everyone?

I've lied during my daycare career. I've lied to kids when I tell them it's nap time even though they give me that 'hands on the hips stance' and fierce look when they ask how it could possibly be nap time as the big hand isn't at the top of the clock. Yep, I lied. But is it okay to have lied to them and put them down half an hour early because I have ungodly cramps and just want to go lay on the couch? Or what about those white lies you tell to daycare parents? There are those lies of omission as you hand over the Father's Day craft that you claim the two year old supposedly did but has your handy work written all over it. You lie because you just can't be bothered to yet again, tell this parent that their child acted like a brat who sat there in a snit and wouldn't pick up the paint brush. Sometimes the truth is just too costly. Too costly in time, stress and calorie expenditure. You just can't be bothered. Besides, is it really hurting anyone? And honestly, the daycare parents never lie to us. Nope, never.

I have a provider friend who is battling this right now. She has a child in care who requires more sleep than the others. This child will often sleep thirty minutes past the set aside nap time as per her routine. The parents of this child insist that if he sleeps longer than a specific amount of time he will not go down for them at night. So, in order to allow the child the sleep he so desperately needs, and to avoid caring for a cranky overtired child, she lies. She tells the parents what they want to hear and they sing her praises because he went to bed without a problem that night. Yes, she lied and no one is the wiser. Well, except the two hundred blog readers that stop by here daily! But she lied for the greater good. She avoided confrontation from the all-knowing and blatantly wrong daycare parent, the child had the benefit of sleep and she avoided dealing with a cranky child. Sounds like a win-win-win situation all around. She lies, so what?

There are numerous events of the day that I do not report to daycare parents. Some situations simply do not warrant a ten minute conversation explaining something that you had to be there to understand. Like the fact that one of my daycare kids was stabbing another with a plastic fork today. Before you read on just trust me when I say that this situation sounds far worse than the reality that it was. No harm was done - with the exception of the hurt ego of the offender who promptly went to time out. I will not tell the victim's parent that she was stabbed by a plastic eating utensil. There are no marks and the child is non-verbal. Is this a lie by omission? Sure it is! But what is worse - to make the offender appear like a two year old psychopath in the making and stress out the mother of the victim when it's really just an isolated incident orchestrated by an otherwise wonderfully behaved child, or to shut up and say nothing? I'm voting for nothing. No harm no foul.

I guess I can add another name to that list of things I have been called.

My name is Judy and I'm a liar.



For concerns, advice or suggestions I welcome your email at judytrickett@yahoo.ca