I have learned a lot in my years providing daycare. There are many things I did when starting out that I wouldn't spend a minute considering now days. One of those things is providing flexible care. Never, in even my most desperate time, would I ever consider taking on a flexible family. But, then again, hind sight is 20/20 and we learn from our mistakes.
When I was first starting out I encountered a neighbour who required care for her twelve month old daughter. This family needed care on a flexible basis. The father works shift work and therefore would be able to provide care for his own child on days that he wasn't working. Just hearing that they wanted me to care for their child deafened me to all the rest of the details. Flex care? Shift work? Ah, heck, who cares. I got my first child! Whohoo!
Sigh...those were the days.
It didn't take long for me to learn that flex care really translates into this: "We only need you when we need you. And of course, we will not need you on any statutory holidays or our own vacation time. We also won't need you when Grandma is coming from overseas for a month at a time."
Flex care in short is a bitch. It wasn't long after taking on this family that I realized that flexible care is really a nice word for glorified babysitting. But, hey, I am a woman of my commitments. I made a commitment to care and damn it, I was going to carry through on the deal. Yes, I was naive.
Five and a half years later I still have this family in care. Instead of one child they now have two. Instead of the oldest just being another "daycare kid" she is my daughter's best friend and most regarded confidante. The parents are truly wonderful people and I rarely have policy issues with them. But still, they are "flex family" and in some small part of my head I resent that fact.
I am a hard ass when it comes to the business side of my daycare. Perhaps my resentment stems from the fact that this family is not held to the same set of rules as every other family who comes through my doors. I would never accept non-payment of statutory holidays with any other family. In fact, they all know better than to even ask. Why then, can I not get it straight with flex family?
The answer lies in emotion. If I was really honest with myself in the quiet moments of the day I would admit that it all comes down to my daughter. How does a mother remove the lifetime friend of a six year old? Granted, six years to us might seem trivial but to my daughter it is all of her memorable life. This daycare girl has always been part of her life. There has been no time in my daughter's memory that she hasn't had the support and friendship of this child. How, in good conscience does a mother sever that tie simply because it costs me $4000 a year in lost fees? Is there a price tag on my daughter's happiness? Am I willing to pay the price so she can reap the reward? Apparently I am or I would have terminated long, long ago.
I have decided to find a middle ground. There is a manner in which to please both myself and not sacrifice the bond between two little girls. I have decided, after much thought that this family will be subjected to some new policies come contract renewal time. Effective January first I will expect a minimum commitment of paid days per week. I will also expect paid statutory holidays.
Do I risk losing this family? Perhaps. Although, in my heart of hearts I don't think they'll go anywhere. And if they do then I am not the asset I deem myself to be. And they will be placing money as priority over their own daughter's friendship as well. I can control what I do but it stops there. I can't control parents and their own set of priorities. But somewhere in there I hope we can find a middle ground. For the first time in their daycare years the parents will finally pay what is fair to their dedicated provider of five years and their provider will be far less resentful. And hopefully, we will protect the friendship and love between two little girls.
For concerns, advice or suggestions I welcome your email at judytrickett@yahoo.ca
I currently have a flex child and it KILLS me. The family has carte blanc for 3 or 4 days at a set fee, no more than 10 hours a day. I NEVER know when he'll be coming...I never know when he'll be gone (or if he'll get picked up early). Am terming very soon, and as much as it saddens me (because I like the child), I will never do this again.
ReplyDeleteAmen! I doubt they'll leave you too, Judy.
ReplyDeleteI live in shift work small town Saskatchewan and so pretty much every child is a 'flex' child as you refer to them as. This is the norm and unfortunately being a small town we do not have the luxury of charging for 'spots'. It just doesn't happen here and I accept it. The only parents I've talked to who understand that the rest of the country's working parents must pay for a 'spot' are the women I meet who move here from out of province. They seem to 'get' that this is our income. Here's to the oil boom and may many more of the considerate parents keep on a moving to my town!!
ReplyDeleteGreat post Judy! A revised contract is the way to go. How often should we revise our contracts and how do we go about introducing it the parents?
ReplyDeleteI need to do this too for one of my favorite families. I need a minimum commitment for number of days also. Some weeks will be five days, others two. So hard. Also adding the paid holidays regardless of day here or not. I am just not sure how to word it. Or how many days should be minimum, I am thinking three, and all holidays paid.?? still working on it though
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