Maybe I'm selfish. I'm sure there are people willing to stand in line for a chance to tell me that I am correct on that point. I tend to think that perhaps I am not selfish but always have my own best interest in mind. I truly believe that in life, and most importantly in business, you must look after numero uno first and foremost. I don't see anything wrong with this ideal. First, I believe it is an innate attribute handed down in our DNA as a result of millions of years of self-preservation and survival needs; and second, the sheer fact that if one does not look after one's self then who will?
I have reiterated this point in relation to daycare many, many times. All too often I witness providers placing the needs of their clients in front of their own. It's a delicate balance being self-employed. Yes, you do need to balance some of your clients' needs or you would have no clients. But, you also need to place your mountain of needs somewhere on that see-saw as well. My thoughts on this point were once again confirmed yesterday.
Not all daycare families are what most of us would consider stellar. However, I have had the pleasure of caring for two children from one superb family over the course of nearly six years. They are a great family. They always pay on time, respect my policies, regularly thank me and comment on the quality of care offered. In the world of daycare they are truly a gem. However, my theory on safeguarding oneself was blatantly reinforced yesterday in conversation with this family.
I was made aware yesterday at pick up that effective August 31st my services would no longer be needed. Apparently this family, who only uses three days of care at a cost of a mere $105 would be leaving to benefit from free daycare services offered by grandma. I was thanked for my services over the last six years and told that they would be happy to be a reference for future interested families. I'm not sure if at that moment I was shocked or angry. My initial reaction was one of indignation, although I was sure not to convey it. Instead, I stood there with my smile, wishing them well and stating my sadness in seeing yet another child go.
Over the last fifteen hours I have had some time to digest the news and have come to a few conclusions. I am no longer angry. They had the opportunity to save $100 a week and have a family member, rather than a friend, care for their child. Who wouldn't make the same decision? I can hardly fault them for coming to that conclusion. However, I do feel anger; anger with myself. Because, I can not count how many times I have made accommodations for this family. I made exceptions because they were the "good" family, the "nice" family. But in the end, they did what everyone else does - took care of themselves first.
Sometimes in life we have the knowledge but can't seem to apply it. Emotion is too easily tied to business and people. I am undecided if this is a positive aspect of the human species or innately a terminal fault. Perhaps Darwin could have answered that question. I had the knowledge. I knew that parents always take care of themselves first. I've seen it a dozen times. But somehow, I, and we, still bend over to accommodate families, often at our own expense, just to see them do what is in their best interest when the situation warrants that action. My question is - When will we learn? When will we decide to only do what suits us? When will we be able to use our knowledge of past events and apply it to the future? It's really not complicated. We just need to be realistic.
If even the "good" families place their needs first then what hope is there for the daycare provider who has less than "good" families in care? There is no hope. You simply can not play a game with the innate intricacies of a million years of programming and expect to win.
Judy learned another lesson yesterday. I have always made a genuine effort to take care of me first. But if I was honest I would also admit there is a certain level of guilt that accompanies that decision. Yesterday's lesson was that guilt should not be a factor. Do what you need to do. Everyone else does.
I'm not a better person than most. And maybe I don't want to be. My experience tells me that in business, being the better person means being the loser. I think I'll go back to my old motto, "It's just business", and will sleep better at night.
For concerns, advice or suggestions I welcome your email at judytrickett@yahoo.ca
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