Cry Baby

Criers, screamers, whiners - call 'em what you want. We've all had them and none of us want them. So, what do we do when we find our selves in the unfortunate situation of having a screamer?

Recently, I was chatting with an on-line friend about this very topic. As has happened with most of us she recently took on a child who has the uncanny ability to cry over just about everything. If you can managed to get past that post traumatic stress induced loss of memory courtesy of your last crier then you will also recall that screamers will make you want to find the nearest bridge and jump.

I could just see the news cast now. Rolling footage would be seen of a woman teetering off the side of a bridge mumbling incoherently to herself. Below, surrounded by cameras would be five little bodies - one of them screaming, of course - all complaining that the "snack lady" was up there playing on the bridge and they were robbed of their watermelon and arrowroot biscuits. They would ask when she was coming down and then run off distracted by the butterfly that fluttered past them. Finally, the woman would be rescued by a nice, buff fireman. The "snack lady" would smile, glass-eyed, at the fireman and say, "Ah good boy, you're not crying". He would look at her, realize her insanity and then pass her over to the men in white coats. Meanwhile, the screamer would still be screaming and the kids would be yelling to you asking when snack time is coming.

Alas, I digress!

Yes screamers can make you literally insane. For this reason alone they should be terminated. When all attempts at soothing and transitioning have been exhausted the self-respecting daycare provider will call it quits and bid a fast farewell to the child with the hope of one day regaining her hearing.

As recalled to my on-line friend I would like to offer to you a short story and additional reason for terminating the screamers:

Imagine as a parent you pack up your precious child every day and take her to your trusted daycare provider. You arrive, kiss her good-bye and hand her off. Your precious child runs to the toy room ready to have fun and play with her friends. All is great until her one little friend arrives. Suddenly, the group changes and everyone starts to be come tense and stressed. You see, her "other" little friend cries all the time. It scares your child when this "other" child cries all day long. It makes your child's little heart beat faster and she feels anxious and bothered by the constant screaming and crying. And, worse yet, your precious child is picking up on the anxiety and stress felt by her lovely daycare provider. In short, your child is living in a personal hell because one friend seems to steal all of the attention, fun and love of the daycare environment.

Would you want YOUR child to be put in this environment? I know I wouldn't!

I once had a child start in care and he literally cried every minute of every day for four weeks straight. Eventually, with some guilt I terminated services and immediately felt better. However, the lesson learned was more important than the return of my sanity. You see, one day in the week following his termination the mother of a three year old boy in my care made the following comment, "You know, last night in the car Andrew was telling me how glad he was that the new boy wasn't coming anymore. Andrew told me that the boy's crying made him feel upset and it made YOU mad". Yeah, imagine as a daycare provider discovering that a three year old had not only managed to pinpoint your exact emotions at having listened to a crying child all day but that he had relayed that information to his parents. It was in that moment that I realized screamers and criers are a detriment to your daycare. They affect everyone. They are like a disease that spreads and eventually makes everyone sick - sick of hearing the crying, sick of their little hearts racing, sick of their provider being tense and short with them.

Keeping a crier in care does no one any favours. If a child hit another child repeatedly each and every day we wouldn't think twice about terminating that child. How then, is a crier any different? They aren't.

If you have a crier in your care I challenge you to take a long hard look at them and the environment they create. Do they make your day harder than it needs to be? Do you feel your heart beat a little faster every time they turn on the tears? Are the other kids covering their ears and tired of listening to the ear piercing shrills of screaming every day? If so, type up that termination letter today. Hand over that letter at pick-up and then get out your Sharpie and start counting down the days to a cry-free zone.





For concerns, advice or suggestions I welcome your email at judytrickett@yahoo.ca