Boy, the things kids say. I swear I could write a book about the uttering of little people. I remember once, when my son attended public school, sitting in the library precariously perched on the smallest chair in the universe hoping that my leg muscles would not give out and continue to aide me in supporting all of the weight that I did not trust the chair to support, listening to the head of the Early Years Department (translation - oldest and meanest JK/SK teacher of the bunch) make this solemn vow to every parent in the room, "We promise to not believe everything your child tells us about you if you promise to not believe everything they tell you about us". I had to laugh at that line. I understood exactly what this seasoned teacher was saying. Gosh, how I could relate!
I have heard some doozies in my time. My personal favourite was one little boy who obviously trusted in me to tell me his biggest secrets. He let me in on the fact that daddy would sneak out to the garage to smoke cigarettes and that we were never, ever to tell mommy. Now, to you this might not seem funny but to the daycare provider who sat in the interview with these parents and was told, in no uncertain terms, that they would not tolerate smoking at all while their kids were in care it did seem hilarious to me then. Imagine the goods I had on dad should he have ever crossed my path. I'm sure mom would have been horrified that no only was dad smoking but her son knew about it.
My other favourite was the story relayed to me by a three year old who was suffering from a yeast infection. She came out of the bathroom and proudly stated that she wiped her bum just like mommy does and that she loves mommy because mommy shares her "sore bum cream" with her! I had to laugh! A few days later I was also informed that she and mommy are " all better now". Can you imagine your child informing everyone of your vaginal conditions on a daily basis?!!
I also know that one family sleeps in the nude and that sometimes before bed mommy puts on her "princess clothes" and then she and daddy go to bed "early". Good golly! Now, just try to look at a parent with a straight face at pick up when you have been delivered that news by their four year old. I'm sure the parents would be mortified to know their child has shared such information with the daycare provider. It's times like that I am thankful my own family secrets are safe here with my kids at my side every day.
The saddest thing I ever heard came from a set of siblings in care. These poor kids would come every single day. One year, I was open the entire week of Christmas right up to Christmas Eve. And, although the parents were both on vacation time they brought their kids to care every single day I was open. One day, when the kids were here I asked them what kind of family things they did with their parents. It nearly broke my heart to hear the oldest answer, "We don't do anything. We just go to the basement and play. Mommy and Daddy play poker on the computer all day and need us to be quiet". Sad, sad, sad. Of course, these are the same parents who later left my care when terminated but continued to badmouth me any chance they got. One current parent reported back to me once that these poker parents thought my daycare environment wasn't "stimulating" enough for their kids. Hmmm...maybe I should have introduced them to Texas Hold'em. At least then they would be "stimulated" and learning a useful family time activity.
No matter how funny or sad the stories I have heard the best one ever was relayed to me by a three year old. This child was a product of great parents. Parents who would never, ever, think to leave their child in care when they were home on a day off. But, apparently, preventing embarrassment trumps any truth when it comes to diarrhea! This three year old told me that she wasn't supposed to tell me Daddy was home today because he might "poop his pants" and that he was too sick to take care of her so she had to come to my house that day. I didn't know what to do, laugh at the thought of a 30 something running at mock speed for the toilet, or his perceived indiscretion at leaving his child in care on his day 'off'. Funny, funny people!
Oh, the stories we could tell. There are days we want to pull our hair out. There are days we wonder what in hell we were thinking. And then there are days when the two year old tells you that "mommy has a baby in her 'gina" and you just have to laugh at the hilarity of it all. Oh, the stories we could tell!!!!
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