It never ceases to amaze me some of the comments parents make during an interview. I have heard it all from "we don't like our child to hear the word NO" to "we would be willing to pay you $X a day for care but we can not pay for the fees you list in your contract". Yep, heard it all. But, the most common things mentioned in the interview by parents are also the same issues that I find to be most misleading. The two issues that come to mind are food and television.
How many times have you sat in your living room chatting with a potential family and they start drilling you on T.V. time? And they all tell you that their child does not watch television at home. Depending on your views concerning television you answer in your most truthful manner and inform them of how television comes into play in your daycare routine. In my daycare setting we do watch some limited television. I explain to parents that the television will most likely be on at two times during the day - drop-off time and while I am prepping lunch. For me, these two times are not negotiable. I find television helps to settle some kids after a hard drop off and as in the case of prepping lunch, occupies them to ensure they don't need my full and undivided attention. Some people would call this type of television viewing a crutch I call it an aide.
The point that always stick with me over the topic of television is that in nearly every case wherein a parent informed me that their child did not watch the big box at home, this same child will undoubtedly know half the shows on T.V.. Hmmmm...either this child can read the programming title at 12 months or they have seen the show on a pretty consistent basis. When you can name all of the Wiggles or Dora's four closest friends then something is amiss.
My other bone of contention concerns food. Granted, food is a pretty important topic to discuss with a potential daycare provider. Food is the building block of good health and vitality. I credit any parent who views what they feed their child with great reverence. But, please, please do no sit in my living room and grill me on my food choices and then send your child on day one with "breakfast in a bag" consisting of Fruit Loops and a sippy cup of Sunny-D. Just last week I had a family sit across from me and grill me on my menu for over fifteen minutes. And keep in mind, I am a mom who also runs an organic food co-op. Finally, I stopped them and said, "Look, I understand food is important to you. But I'm the real deal here. You will NOT find a daycare who serves your child more nutritious, whole foods than I will". And yes, when they were leaving they pulled out the Teddy Grahams and handed one over. Sigh.
Maybe instead of interviews both parties should just provide to one another a video diary of a normal day. We could hire film crews to follow us around and take footage of our every move. Heck, at least then I would know ahead of time what videos to purchase for the child when they start. And it would certainly help to know that the child isn't going to touch my Ravioli and Spinach lunch dish and I could atleast open up and plop down some Chef Boyardee. Oh, and then the parents could also see how it is that the children don't whine, kick, scream or shout during their days with me. My secret would be out. Everyone would finally see that "parenting" works.
There is always going to be a gap in what parents perceive as realistic and the actual reality of what a provider can give. After all, most parents forget that we are one person caring for five children. I don't see a bridge being built over that gap any time soon. But for now I'll just keep being me, answer the questions truthfully and let the parents make up their minds. Besides, I'm not losing Dora and I'm certainly not going to invest in Chef Boyardee stock either. It is what it is. Take it or leave it.
So, I ask you all - what are some of your most memorable interview moments when the expectations of potential parents were made known? Come on, share with us. There is always a good chuckle when recounting interview horror stories. I'm waiting........
For concerns, advice or suggestions I welcome your email at judytrickett@yahoo.ca
This isn't too horrifying but I had a mother's jaw drop when I told her that for afternoon snack I usually serve a fruit and milk. She informed me that her children were not going to eat "that stuff" and asked if she could bring their own food. She went on and on about their bad eating habits being her own fault (these kids were 8 & 11, summertime) and that she just can't get them to eat anything healthy. I told her no and I guess that sealed the deal.
ReplyDeleteBTW thank you so much for this blog. Nap time is so much better since I have found you!
My personal favourite interview had to be with a lady who worked in a Daycare Centre. She told me that, being ECE herself and working in a Centre she originally would never have considered a home daycare for her children but that since I am ECE certified and licensed that she would like to meet with me. So, I’m really excited to meet with them. I was thinking, finally a parent who will understand my job. So they get here 15 minutes late. They had not read my policies and didn’t agree with most of them. Above all they really wanted a structured environment with good discipline. I found out why not 5 minutes later when their 3.5yo walks over to my not quite 2yo and snatches her toy. Mom goes over and does the we don’t take, give it back speech. 3.5 yo yells NOOOO. Mom tries to take the toy from her daughter; the little girl punches her in the face. Mom says timeout, little girl says no and goes to play. Mom gives up and sits down. So at this point I step in. I remove the toy from this 3.5 yo and send dd to go play with her big brother. The 3.5 yo spends the rest of the interview throwing a hissy fit. Mom apologizes and blames the grandparents. But the best part of this interview had to be the dad. I have 2 large dogs and this little girl was clearly terrified of them. At the end of the interview her dad goes over and says “if you don’t behave that lady is going to feed you to her dogs”
ReplyDeleteHonestly I was willing to deal with the behavioural issues. The deal breaker for me was the dad’s comment. No way am I going to be used as a threat. Can you just imagine? Children sitting at home and there parents saying to them “If you don’t behave I am calling your babysitter”
I did a double interview once with a mom of a 17 month old boy, and an oriental family with a 10 month old girl. The one mom went through all my toys and pulled out anything she suspected may contain lead- she did inform me that she had a huge phobia about lead with her child...the other family wanted to know how I would handle their daughters naptimes- I told them I had a pack n play I kept in my son's room that she could sleep in there, so the other kids would not disrupt her- They looked startled at the idea- so I asked what they did for naps at home- They held her- for the whole nap, every day- sometimes 3 naps a day! They said she had never slept on her own, in a crib or otherwise...Needless to say, "the chinese baby holders" and "the lead mom" were not going to be a good fit for me...lol.
ReplyDeleteI'm borrowing a story from my neighbor today. Just because it's fresh in my mind! My friend wants to start taking in a couple of kids in the new year so when I received a call last week for care starting in December I figured I'd better pass along her number. Boy do I regret doing that! Yesterday my friend had this caller and her baby over to meet her at her home. The woman stepped in the door, said to her 8 month old, "This is where you get to go when mommy goes to work!" Remember these people have never met one another or agreed to anything!!!
ReplyDeleteAfterwards this woman told my friend about her 12 hour shifts at a nursing home and how she was going to pay my friend $20 a day for these shifts and $10 a day for a half shift when the dad would be picking up early or whatever. When my friend mentioned her rates of being $30 for an 8 hour day and that for over 12 hours she would be looking at probably more along the lines of $50. Of course by this point in the 'interview' my friend had already decided she was not going to take on this family. It got worse. They made casual talk and my friend asked the woman if she was still breast feeding the baby. The woman tells her 'no' and how she didn't want anyone breast feeding around her daughter (OH OH, my friend is currently nursing her own 9 month old) This woman also TOLD my friend how she would be expected to supply diapers/wipes/extra clothing if the need should arise etc. She asked the usual question about having first aid/CPR and my friend told her that yes she was planning to attend the next class available to refresh her training. Then the woman said, oh, well I expect you to have it by September and my friend was thinking what for, you don't want to me to watch your child until December!!
I feel so bad for my poor friend who really does legitimately want to watch a couple of kids so that she can enjoy being a mom and stay home with her son like so many of us started this business for. I was also very proud of her for calling the woman a couple of hours later and telling her that shift work was not going to work for her family and that she's have to look elsewhere, offering her another number of another provider in our area starting up.
I am still so flabberghasted by her story. This mom did not ask any other questions about child care philosophy and parenting, didn't want to meet my friends husband or have her meet the dad ahead of time. She just assumed that after a phone call, her daycare was signed sealed and ready for her return to work. I wondered what planet this woman had come from. Ok you can chalk up the points on the board, sure she's a first time mom who has never had to search for childcare in the past, sure she was fairly new to our city and perhaps did not realize the cost of childcare does not seem to fit into her budget, but a woman in the nursing profession of all people, would she not have talked to co-workers or does she not have any friends???? to who she could have spoke to before bombarding my friend full of unreasonable demands? Well at least we all had a good laugh about it!
Both mom and dad taught at private schools. During the interview which was going well, they asked about my math and language programs. Fair enough if your child was 4 but she was 13 months old!
ReplyDeleteI think the funniest interview I ever had occured when I was managing a child care center a few years back. The parents were separating and the father had already been in for his appointment. An hour later mom came in for hers (yES, they were THAT bad together!). Anyways, mom had ALL the pertinient questions about food, cleanliness, discpline etc. Finally, she started asking me about the staff and my own qualifications. I have an ECE diploma, but apparently that wasn't enough for her as she wanted to know what I had done BEFORE becoming an ECE...it was very tempting to tell her I stripped/pole danced my way through college, but I didn't and instead I bit my tongue. But later the staff and I had a really good laugh!
ReplyDeleteTeehee...those ARE some doozies! Keep 'em coming. I'm sitting here chuckling as I read them and my six year old keeps saying, "Hey, why are you laughing?"!!!
ReplyDeleteLady gets upset that I do not space.....I said; "Sorry I am currently full"....she says "But it's only part-time"....I say, " I'm sorry, I have NO space part-time or full-time...I'm FULL"....She hangs up on me....Ummmm....Sorry?
ReplyDeleteMy least favorites are those who wants discounts...for things like; bringing their own diapers (I do NOT supply them)
Feeding their kids breakfast...Um...EXCUSE ME?!
If only I had a 'real job'....
How about this. Parents say "He doesn't have a soother just a blankie". On day one, two, and three, just a blankie as I was told. Day 4, Mom says "oh he found a soother someplace and guess what". Day 5 - 2 1/2 year old comes in with soother hanging out the side of mouth. Following week Mon. Tues. Wed. soother. Then I think it sunk in that he doesn't get it here and Thurs. alas no soother.
ReplyDeleteParents come with an 18 month old daughter. They were here for an interview since I had come recommended by several friends of theirs and they KNEW most of the children that were in my care already. My god they drilled me and dad was even worse. It wasn't as though I was a complete stranger! He asked about sleeping arrangements and asked if I had safe places for the children to sleep. I get a lot of co-bed sleepers but knew already that their daughter used a playpen/crib at home. I responded with, "I do have a play pen for those that use one," just to cover myself. Arrogantly, he responds "what if you have more than one child that needs it?" WTF - if I needed another one I would get another one. Was he expecting me to say I put two or three children in it?! That was it for me....
ReplyDeleteMy worst interview was with a woman walked in with her 3 1/2 year old daughter who immediately started bouncing off the walls, screaming and throwing tantrums each time her mom ineffectivly told her stop or no.. Approximately every 5 minutes the child would walk up to her mom, yank up her shirt and start nursing then run away again. The mom then proceeded to tell me that she was here on advice of her dr. who told her that if she didn't have some time away from her daughter she would have a nervous breakdown. She started crying and begging me to take her off her hands during the day. Then she asks if during the day she could drop by three or four times to nurse her daughter. You would think that when my eyes glazed over she would have got the hint that I did not want her "problem" child.
ReplyDeleteLaurie
I have a child in care now...who is 19 months old...His lunch bag consists of ...a water bottle, 2 snacker containers with Gummy Bears and Corn Pops, and a Chocolate or Vanilla Pudding. For those of you who are unaware of the size of "Snackers containers" They are those web lidded cuppy things that allow toddlers to access the snacks but not allow the snacks to spill. They are the size of a standard coffee mug. Now...I don't know about you.....but the thought of my 19 month old baby eating a mug full of gummy bears makes me sick to my stomach.
ReplyDeleteNot only are these disgusting items packed for this baby, but I have been given direct instruction to not feed the child any of our food. None. Granted he is only in my care for 4 hours.....but still. I'm horrified. Am I terrible because I dump out a cup of gummy bears and 1/2 a cup of corn pops and feed the kid yogurt and fishie crackers? He won't touch a sliced fruit or a vegetable...go figure, with all that sugar neither would I.
The kicker was when I used to leave the snacks in the snacker untouched for the longest time, and just feed him what we were eating. He doesn't have any allegies. Then dad came to my door and pleaded with me to feed his son the candies. "He loves his candies" said dad.
Like....what the hell are wrong with people??? Am I the criminal here?
LMAO!!! Glad I'm not the only one who has had to deal with loser parents, but some of those stories above really take the cake. Especially the one right above this... "he loves his candies"... WTF.
ReplyDeleteThose are all great interview stories ladies!
ReplyDeleteI guess mine are the ones that are heading out of the interview then state 'oh did we mention that we only need p/t care? Well~NO you didn't and I only have 1 f/t space advertised.
My only other one that I can think of is 'we can't get here till about 5:15-5:30 earliest - (I close at 5:00) they ask 'would that be a problem?' Well heck YES it would!
dumb bums
(i've had all the sleep/food/tv issues here too! too much eh?
Oh boy, common sense just isn't that common is it?! LOL
ReplyDeleteThis wasnt an interview but merely an email. I had a mom tell me what she could pay me and it was $20 less then my regular fee. But she thought it was fair considering her dd slept for 2-3 hours in the afternoon and so then I "woudln't be working" and she didnt want to pay when her dd slept.
ReplyDeleteI had one parent who was VERY attached to her daughter. She actually didn't want her in daycare at all but her husband convinced her that she should have 2 days/week to herself to get groceries, work around the house etc. So anyway, she came in to the interview with a VERY detailed list of questions (which is fine), went over my weekly menu and inspected my house. THEN she asked if she could stay for a few whole days with her so she can get used to things (WHOLE days). She also stated she would like to drop in whenever she pleased to spend time with her daughter and stay for a few hours. She said she still wanted to be with her but also wanted her interacting with other kids. Ummm....so yes, I definitely suggested a PLAYGROUP, not daycare because I do not need overbearing parents just "hanging around". Geez...
ReplyDeleteI had one parent call me about a month ago when I had a few spots suddenly come available. Anyways, sounds good at first...4.5yr old boy (I had only girls except my son), goes to preschool 2 blks away, good hours etc. Oh, but he has had some medical issues in the past and is a 'little' delayed in potty training...doesn't always make it all the time. Okay.
ReplyDeleteI arranged an interview and mom and boy come over. First they are late, then mom tells me that she would prefer him not to lay on the standard daycare mats for nap time...she will provide a blow up bed for him (like I have room to store that!), she also said he WILL not drink milk, doesn't like his juice watered down, is a picky eater etc etc etc.
Oh, and his 'sometimes doesn't make it to the bathroom' accidents are at least once a day and were more poop related than pee. She said that the reason they were late is because he'd had one right before they left their house. She even had to check him TWICE while in the interview because he was stinky and apparently 'doesn't say anything' when he has these accidents.
The final straw was when she asked when I would be able to let her know about the sapce. I had lied and said I had another interview and so she almost caught me in that lie when she asked if it was a boy or girl...as I had mentioned how nice another boy would be. I quickly said 'girl' and she proceeded to nudge her son and say' we are SO in!'. Not likely!!!!
Good things do happen though, because I was actually called the next day for another boy more my sons age and despite his 'shyness' he fits in so well. I guess you need the 'lemons' to remind you of the 'peaches' available!
I had a woman, who was a friend, interview for daycare for her twin boys (this was my first interview/family). The interview was very relaxed, and I agreed to take the children into my care. In the weeks leading up to the start of care, she started making demands.
ReplyDeleteFirst, I had to have playpens set up in my playroom, one for each of her children as they obviously couldn't be placed in the same one. They were to be used any time I needed to take my attention away from her children, even for a moment as she was worried that my children would hurt her children if my head were turned (I didn't bother to tell her that my kids could climb right in the playpen if they wanted to). By then I already had another 2 children in my care. Then she dropped off a detailed schedule that her children were to follow, which included time for diaper changes, time playing independantly with toys and time being held by me.
Finally, when she showed up at my door with a form that I was to complete daily, one for each of her children, I let her know that I wouldn't be providing care after all. She actually wanted me to complete a form indicating how much food each child ate, and the time (they were still on baby food), as well as diaper output. She wanted me to guess at the approximate amount in oz. that the children had peed, as well as full descriptions, colour, size, consistency of all bowel movements. Talk about a micro manager.
Needless to say, she wasn't happy I wouldn't take her children and she ended up hiring a nanny.
Oh, and she hasn't spoken to me since.
Awww...ladies, my stomach is hurting from laughing so much!
ReplyDeleteMy only horror story is from a mom who brought her 4 yo daughter for an interview and during the interview it came out that the previous provider for the girl had been shut down by the state for having too many children in her care. How many you ask? 25! Now, I'm not great at math, but as a parent I would think that when you go to drop off your child and there are already 14 kids there and only one adult, that you might start scratching your head. The kicker was that she wasn't too pleased with my number when I told her I only had 5 kids in my care and she said, "but who will she play with if you only have 5?" I emailed her that same night to tell her the spot was filled.
Oh what a fun topic. Here goes nothing:
ReplyDeleteOne guy showed up with his little guy and he smelllled bad. The kid pooped! Nope,no diapers for him of course. Then as I tried to speed up the interview and get them out of my house, I walked past the dad to "usher" him towards the door, but boy...what a shock, he smelled like booze and that's why he was slurring. I thought he had a speech impedement! The child screamed/ran/threw/climbed til I actually opened the door and said, "I'll call you tomorrow, he needs to be taken home to be changed"
Then... One woman came with the book of questions that all of the "Micro-managers-phobic-mommies club" members have and asked each and every one and then wrote down my friggin' answers in her book. She then went on to ask if I would have a separate room for her little prince and she would of course supply the sandbox for HIM ONLY cause you know what the dirt is don't you? Toxic!!
I also had a family come to me after a few weeks in care(nice but odd family if you kwim?)and said: "We'll be using next 2 weeks as our free weeks, we're on holidays, so we may not drop him off right at 7am" No kidding. You see, my contract stated: 2 free weeks of care each year, 50 weeks each year fees are expected. So they figured I meant I would work for 2 friggin' weeks for FREEEE! Dumb bums is being polite here.
One lady called me(turned out to be a new neighbour moving into our neighbourhood)and asked me this and that and finally said to me: "I think you people should only be allowed 2 children at all times...One child for each hand" Children need all of your attention." I simply said something along the lines of: Oh..sorry, but my mom had more than 2 kids, and I turned out normal. sounds like you need a nanny or no more than 2 kids. She did turn out to be the street "nutjob."
I also had the "How many do you put in one playpen" ??? I just shook my head and felt like saying, until they can't sit down dumbbunny.
One other lady asked me if I drank during the day! I said: "Yup, coffee and lots of it"
Yup ladies, we could write a book.
Had a parent with 2 kids. Since they were my first 2 EVER....I had *gasp* given them a discount.
ReplyDeleteSo a year later, contract is up for renewal and I say to this lady. I am raising your fees to reflect what I charge everyone else. I also added in a few reasons for raising the fees such as......They're taking up a full space so I need to charge to reflect that (meaning....I can't fill a one day a week space so you can't have a discount)....(Backround: I raised the fees $100 and they were now on par with what everyone else was paying.....given they were here 4 days per week....price reflected 4 days per week)
She says to me "so can I bring them 5 days a week then for the extra hundred dollars a month....
WHAT?!?!?! NOOOOOOOO!!!
NOOOOOOOOO!!!! I want you to pay what everyone else is paying (well-off people - my other parents CERTAINLY didn't need to be subsidizing THEIR care)
I have had quite a few bad ones but one that comes to mind was one of my very first interviews after opening. It was a family with a 12 month old boy. Mom was normal, Dad on the other hand was a complete wackjob.
ReplyDeleteHe walked around my house almost the whole time I was talking to mom about my program etc... He was yanking on my railings to check the stability of them, checking for safety hazards, making sure I had plug covers and such (as if that's not required for licensed daycare) He finally joins Mom and I and starts asking the strangest questions I'd ever heard.
He asked how I was going to prevent the older kids I had in care from hurting the baby (because I guess all kids are demonic little heathens out to hurt babies.) He asked me if I would have my teenage friends over to visit while doing daycare, LOL I have no idea where that came from. I am 30 yrs old mind you, I have no teenage friends. I could see if I was a teenage babysitter. I guess he thought I still lived with my mom and dad.
He was just really strange. After they left he walked around my house for a good ten minutes looking for outdoor safety hazards and he had to go meet my dog to be sure he wasn't agressive. Needless to say I did NOT take that family.
I had one interview where the lady stood in one place the whole time with her arms folded and would barely speak to me, after ten minutes she told me that there was nothing for her kids to do here (they were older children) and she walked out. I have now and always have had a majority of schoolagers so I didn't get that one. She was looking for a provider with a pool, like I'd let daycare children in a pool if I had one. No thank you!
I had another lady that was the childs grandmother that had gained custody from the parents because they were abusing the child. She told me on her first day to make sure I kept her in a pack n play all day so she didn't get any bumps or bruises because DSS would think she was abusing the baby. Sooooo needless to say I terminated care for that one.
I had an interview one time where the child had fallen asleep in the car on the way to my house. The mom parks in the driveway and comes to the front door. Looks in when I open the door and says I can't come in because I don't want to wake my son but from what I can see it looks nice. So, I call my husband from inside the house...ask him to stand outside near the car and make her come in and look around. I decide from talking to her I'm not interested in signing them and say...thanks for coming inside...and end the interview. Just one of many weird interviews.
ReplyDeletethe best one I will never forget was the one that the wife and husband and 2 girls came. Mom clearly wore the pants in the family. We go thru the interview, and her kids (they were older) were playing with my kids outside on the trampoline (I have 4 kids of my own, no one ever wants to go home) well the 2 sisters refused to get off the trampoline, and I mean they were like, come and get me if you dare children. Well mom right there on the spot said to me, "we will not be picking you as our daycare place because the girls don't want to go home"-----fast foward to last month, they take swimming lessons at the same place as my 2 kids (my other 2 take it somewhere else) and those are the 2 most brattiest kids I have ever seen, so glad i didn't take them
ReplyDeleteI had a phone call and one of the questions she asked was how much do i charge, and I told her that its 30 dollars for 8 hours and she told me that its way too much, so I asked her how much was she paying at her other daycare place and she said 27 dollars--needed it for cigarrette money.
I had parents come to my house only to realize that I wasn't the daycare they made an appointment with (I have a sign outside)
thats all i can remember right now.
I agree that it must be annoying to have parents grill you about your TV watching time and the type of food you provide only to have you find out that the child clearly watches TV at home or eats junk at home. BUT it is recommended by the Academy of Pediatrics that children under the age of 2 watch NO TV, and that older children only watch very limited amounts.....TV watching increases the risk of developing ADHD and is linked to obesity. So if you really want to do what is best for the children you will not use TV as an 'aid' or 'crutch' and think of something else to occupy them while you prepare lunch etc. Because at the end of the day an EXCELLENT day care provider would put the welfare of the children first, and the need to point out the hypocracy of the parents second. As a parent myself, I actually do not allow my infant son to see the TV on (we only have it on when he's sleeping), so not all parents are hypocrits, expecting better care at day care than they give themselves.
ReplyDelete(above post)
ReplyDeleteLets all blame the talking box for everything that is wrong in this world. The child that is limitted will be the one to gorge themselves latter.
(above post)
ReplyDeleteYeah you're right....there's definitely been signs of those kids who have had restricted TV just balooning up in their teen/early adult years from the consequences of their deprived childhood...after all where would they be without all the subliminal messages of violence, agression etc. Oh wait, they're probably out playing sports!
And of course how dare we limit our children to things we think are best for them.....when I suppose it would be better to allow them to try whatever they want and discover for themselves what's good or bad....alcohol, drugs, porn, you name it. We wouldn't want them to 'gorge' themselves on it later would we?
And of course maybe some book reading instead of TV watching has other benefits....like spelling! (it's l-i-m-i-t-e-d not limitted and it's l-a-t-e-r not latter)
I have learned to provide a standardized schedule and meal plan that is mandatory for all contracts. I have had those parents who will give you that "oh this will simply not do" or give you that face of "we dont do it this way" and I simply tell them, this is the tv time allotment and standard meal plan for the course of a quarter look it through, if you dont approve then my service is not for you
ReplyDelete