How many times have you heard a parent tell you that good daycare is hard to find? My guess is that you stopped counting a long time ago. You know, I don't know whether I agree with this opinion or not. On one hand I do think that as a parent it is likely very hard to find a provider that meets your expectations but on the other hand I have to wonder if, with respect to securing "good" daycare, the parents are their own worst enemy.
I am going to be upfront, as always, and admit that today's blog is a bit of a bite back at some recent comments left on the site. I think we all know to what I am referring. As you also know, I am not one to mince words and I have no problem putting into words, and voicing, the unpopular yet valid thoughts many of us have. Someone, somewhere has to stand up and tell it like it is - even if it's unpleasant to hear.
Good daycare providers are not hard to find - at least they shouldn't be. In my years of providing daycare myself I have seen quite a few daycare providers come and go. Sadly, there have been many wonderful, giving, caring and loving individuals, who although, the best of the best, did not have the leathery skin necessary to stay in this business. It is a detriment to the profession and parents when a kind and loving daycare provider closes her door for the last time. How is it then, that society does not see their actions were pivotal to this happening?
Last week a truly great daycare provider said good-bye to a family for whom she provided care for five years. I think we can all agree that if a child is in the care of a daycare provider for five years that provider had a significant impact on the life of that child. These children were the product of normal, every day, great parents and people. One would think that if the parents weren't pleased with the quality of care they would not have kept their children in that care for half a decade. I can only assume then, that they viewed her care as exceptional and advantageous for their children. Why then, on their last day could they not have taken the time to find a heart felt card and a short note to thank her for the care and love she provided all those years? And worse yet, why is it that on their last day they had the audacity to ask her how much they owed her for the week's care? One would think that after five years, as a parent, you might already know that information. In the end, they were 'short' twenty dollars owed to the provider. It took this wonderful, giving provider FIVE days and much harassment to obtain the money she was owed.
I would like to know when society is going to stop seeing daycare providers as disposable. You sit in our living rooms, grill us on the quality of care and inform us that you want only the best. But, then, in return when we are no longer needed not only are we not viewed as "the best" but as an invisible entity that scarcely existed. And then parents wonder why quality care is hard to find. Geesh, it doesn't seem like rocket science to me.
The number of quality daycare providers IS in fact dwindling. And, if you want to know my opinion as to why it is then you know I will be more than happy to share it with you. The simple fact is that most (and I mean most - not all) parents are selfish, rude, small-minded people with unrealistic expectations. Most parents have absolutely no idea and therefore, no empathy for what it is the average daycare provider does each and every day for their child. They can not, even for a minute, step into her shoes and imagine her side of the story.
Yesterday someone had the audacity to comment that a daycare provider's job was "easy". It is people like you, anonymous commenter, that drive great providers out of business. I hope you are sitting at home right now with that smug smile on your face reading that last line. It is YOU who are to blame for the substandard care most parents are forced to place their child in to. So, it also makes sense that it is YOU who is hurting the emotional and mental health of children everywhere. Because if even for one minute every parent like you took time to consider what it is the provider down to street gives of herself to each child in her care then maybe she would still be in business and the children would still be in her care instead of the lady, two blocks over who couldn't give two cents whether the kids are fed well, played with or given adequate time to rest during the day.
Home daycare providers work harder than any other segment of the population. They give up their homes, their hearts, their silence, their adult connections, and on some days their sanity so that YOUR children have a safe, warm, and caring place to spend their days so you have the luxury of going to work worry-free.
Get off your high horse and come down from your holier-than-art-thou stance and take responsibility for your role. "Good" daycare is not hard to find. But people like you are very quickly changing that fact. Every time you insult your provider via your subconscious actions you kill a little piece of her daycare heart. And pretty soon that heart will so full of holes that she will close up shop and find a job in a place that, at the very least, will thank her for a job well done. And then YOU - YOU will be the parent who complains that you now have to find another provider. Hey, what goes around comes around. Welcome to Karma.
For concerns, advice or suggestions I welcome your email at judytrickett@yahoo.ca
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