Without exception, every provider I have personally known has gone through periods of burn out. For some providers it happens more frequently, for others less. These are those days or weeks when you just can not bare the thought of getting out of bed and facing the whining, the crying and even the smiles. You're just done. You silently curse anyone who arrives a mere one minute early and you count down the seconds until the last child is gone.
By now I am sure that there are some non-providers reading this and gasping. They are forming opinions that include such phrases as, "Well, then they shouldn't be caring for children", or, "My goodness, these ladies (or perhaps just me in particular!) are certainly bitchy and complain a lot. Perhaps they should find a different line of work".
I'll be the first to put up my hand and admit that I have had many of these times in my daycare career. I'm not a saint and I have never professed to being one. I'm just human. And to be human means that even I have limitations. I have yet to meet anyone who can say, with one-hundred percent honesty, that they never, ever get burned out in their job. Nope, never happens. Hmmmm........maybe I'm just cynical. Regardless, we'll carry on but I warn those that are holier-than-art-thou that you are likely to become offended on this blog!
As caregivers we are usually the last to recognize and then admit that we are burned out. First, we rarely have time to sit down for a coffee let alone do extensive daily soul searching. This means that our needs and boundary breaches are often missed. Second, even if we have recognized that we are burned out there is that little voice inside our heads that tells us to shut up and clam up. We hadn't dare tell anyone. "They" would never understand. We're not allowed to say that we can not stand, for one more minute, to play blocks with the constant regurgitating two year old presently in our playroom. Or that if another kid poops today we are going to throw a hissy fit that could give the three year old daycare girl a run for her money. But, if you are feeling this way then Honey, as your friend and colleague I am here to utter these words to you......You're burned out.
So, what do you do now?
There are many options at this point. If you can afford to, and really want to, you could quit. However, for most providers this isn't really a viable option. So, then we go to plan B which, for the burned out newbie, is also the most popular approach to licking your wounds while recuperating. It also saves all your daycare families from seeking out a new provider, keeps you in a job, and makes everyone happy by the time the burn out phase has passed. Plan B is simple; do as little as humanly possible while still maintaining order, keeping everyone safe, fed and comfortable.
For those who are non-providers this is the time for you to look away unless you have an hour to leave your raging comment when you are done reading. Okay, we're waiting for you to leave.....
...waiting......
...still waiting.....
Okay, their gone now. If they're not I'm sure we'll all know their true feels five minutes after they read the following:
Implementing Plan B
Plan B should only be used when your soul is so far into the depths of daycare despair that you shudder every time you hear the "clean, up, clean, up, everybody, everywhere, clean up, clean up....." song. Even when the kids are being angelic your nerves are agitated and your head feels like someone is using steel wool to clean the inside of your skull. So, here we go.
The Television - Who said TV was bad for kids? In fact, as long as the programming is age appropriate there is no harm done to a child while watching an hour of TV for a few days while you recover from your burn out state. If you want to read more about TV and how it actually was studied to be quite enjoyable and beneficial to kids go and borrow The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell from your local library.
Play-Doh - Oh man, I LOVE Hasbro. Not only do they have a role in keeping kids busy for hours with their clay-like wonder dough they also came up with Bob The Builder. See - The Television - above!
Free-Play - Hey, if teachers can send home that cutsie little poem about there being nothing in the child's backpack that day and they get paid by the government then damn it, we can use that line too. Kids like to play. Hell, I'm an adult and I would rather play than work.
Pizza and Nuggets - The makers of these fine dining pre-boxed cuisines must have know a daycare provider or two. No thought process involved. Just turn on oven and insert.
Get a Laptop - There is nothing better for your daycare burn out then to "network" with other providers and vent your frustrations. Oh, and "network" is the official word. Using the term "going on-line" sounds much more like you are stealing time. And with a laptop the kids can do all of the above while you sit in the same room "networking".
Extended Nap-Time - If you had an extra fifteen minutes five days in a row during burn out week that is more than an extra hour of time you get to defrag.
Book It Off - No, you won't be popular but it will be necessary. Daycare parents take personal days all the time. So should you. If you are in burn out, shoot off an email and book off an upcoming Friday and enjoy an extra long weekend. And if you really want to be nasty ask the daycare parents if you can drop off your kid with them for the day.
If all of the above measures fail then there is always Plan C. But, I don't like blog competition so I won't give you the step-by-step for that!
For concerns, advice or suggestions I welcome your email at judytrickett@yahoo.ca
Showing newest 20 of 24 posts from April 2009. Show older posts
Showing newest 20 of 24 posts from April 2009. Show older posts
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
I Must Be Smaller Than I Think
I'm so small I'm micro. Micro managed that is! Who's been here? I'm guessing just about everyone. You know the type - the parent who feels the need to tell you how to do every.... single.... thing....every....step....of....the....way. Yeah, these are the micro managers.
Now, I have to give the micro managers some credit. In my experience these parents usually end up to be great daycare parents. But, sometimes getting to be the title holder of 'great parent' takes some time and painstaking frustration by the provider. Micro managers care. There's no doubt about that. After all, why would a parent who doesn't care send three pairs of footwear just in case the weather changes a number of times throughout the day. I mean, call me crazy but there is rarely an occasion when I would need a pair of runners, rubber boots and sandals in a nine hour period of time. But hey, no one can say they didn't understand the part of the contract that states, "all children must come prepared for the day". God love 'em for their attempt at perfection.
These are also the parents who send daily notes with explicit instruction on things like how many times to cut the grapes she sent with her child. This of course takes into consideration that YOU provide all the food but mom just wanted to be sure her child ate something that day. And it's a good thing too. I can't even imagine the panic I would be in if the child did not eat all day and then at pick-up time I couldn't find her because she had simply wasted away to nothing. Poof - there she goes because she didn't eat snack today. Damn, I hate when that happens. Ah, hell that's why I pay for daycare insurance.
I remember my first micro managers. The whole family arrived on day one with a diaper bag that was so big when dad carried it in I thought for sure he was on his way to hockey practice.
Oh, but wait, that surely couldn't be mistaken for his bag. Nope, the custom made cutsie metal name tags hanging off the bag in three places ensure no one would forget who it belonged to. Then of course, there were the cutsie matching name tag stickers in her shoes, on her bottle, her soother and of course, sewn into her favourite blanket. If that weren't bad enough mom pulls out of one of the fourteen overstuffed pockets of the diaper bag the personalized message pad that detailed every single minute of the child's day. Wow, this lady was organized. Oh, and what a surprise - there's even a cutsie message pad of my very own to document the events of the day. Yippee! By the end of the drop-off encounter I pushed them out the door and was so exhausted that I couldn't even remember the child's name. Oh yeah....good thing she had all those name tags!
Micro managers aren't really that organized. What they lack is trust. And who can blame them. Dropping off your precious treasure in the care of a stranger has to be one of the scariest things a parent will ever do. These parents have met all of their child's needs for the past year and now they worry they will not be met when they close the door behind them. The key to dealing with micro managers is reassurance. Be one step ahead of them. Call them on day one (and two and three if necessary) and let them know everything is fine. Send off an email with reassuring words and even a picture - preferably not one of the child crying. That would certainly not be reassuring! Micro managers have trust issues. And, as a provider you have to work hard to gain that trust. But in the end, these parents will usually turn out to be the best you have. Just give them time and be patient.
Most daycare providers I know are also micro managers. Most of us aren't all that different in that respect. We too could not bear the thought of leaving our child in the care of strangers and thus decided to provide care rather than use it. So, next time you find yourself rolling your eyes when a parent asks you how many times you cut up grapes, sigh and give the right answer. And make sure you clean out your front hall closet so you have enough room to store that enormous freakin' diaper bag.
Now, I have to give the micro managers some credit. In my experience these parents usually end up to be great daycare parents. But, sometimes getting to be the title holder of 'great parent' takes some time and painstaking frustration by the provider. Micro managers care. There's no doubt about that. After all, why would a parent who doesn't care send three pairs of footwear just in case the weather changes a number of times throughout the day. I mean, call me crazy but there is rarely an occasion when I would need a pair of runners, rubber boots and sandals in a nine hour period of time. But hey, no one can say they didn't understand the part of the contract that states, "all children must come prepared for the day". God love 'em for their attempt at perfection.
These are also the parents who send daily notes with explicit instruction on things like how many times to cut the grapes she sent with her child. This of course takes into consideration that YOU provide all the food but mom just wanted to be sure her child ate something that day. And it's a good thing too. I can't even imagine the panic I would be in if the child did not eat all day and then at pick-up time I couldn't find her because she had simply wasted away to nothing. Poof - there she goes because she didn't eat snack today. Damn, I hate when that happens. Ah, hell that's why I pay for daycare insurance.
I remember my first micro managers. The whole family arrived on day one with a diaper bag that was so big when dad carried it in I thought for sure he was on his way to hockey practice.
Oh, but wait, that surely couldn't be mistaken for his bag. Nope, the custom made cutsie metal name tags hanging off the bag in three places ensure no one would forget who it belonged to. Then of course, there were the cutsie matching name tag stickers in her shoes, on her bottle, her soother and of course, sewn into her favourite blanket. If that weren't bad enough mom pulls out of one of the fourteen overstuffed pockets of the diaper bag the personalized message pad that detailed every single minute of the child's day. Wow, this lady was organized. Oh, and what a surprise - there's even a cutsie message pad of my very own to document the events of the day. Yippee! By the end of the drop-off encounter I pushed them out the door and was so exhausted that I couldn't even remember the child's name. Oh yeah....good thing she had all those name tags!
Micro managers aren't really that organized. What they lack is trust. And who can blame them. Dropping off your precious treasure in the care of a stranger has to be one of the scariest things a parent will ever do. These parents have met all of their child's needs for the past year and now they worry they will not be met when they close the door behind them. The key to dealing with micro managers is reassurance. Be one step ahead of them. Call them on day one (and two and three if necessary) and let them know everything is fine. Send off an email with reassuring words and even a picture - preferably not one of the child crying. That would certainly not be reassuring! Micro managers have trust issues. And, as a provider you have to work hard to gain that trust. But in the end, these parents will usually turn out to be the best you have. Just give them time and be patient.
Most daycare providers I know are also micro managers. Most of us aren't all that different in that respect. We too could not bear the thought of leaving our child in the care of strangers and thus decided to provide care rather than use it. So, next time you find yourself rolling your eyes when a parent asks you how many times you cut up grapes, sigh and give the right answer. And make sure you clean out your front hall closet so you have enough room to store that enormous freakin' diaper bag.
You Are What You Eat
Kids are picky eaters. We all know this. I do however, believe that there are ways to introduce children to new, nutritious foods and successfully fill their bellies with whole foods they actually enjoy eating. Food is a biggie for me. I am a spokesperson and advocate of organic foods and natural, whole foods. I think that we live in a society that eats far too many processed junk. Our waistlines are expanding while our nutritional intake is contracting. We eat more foods now then ever before but take in far less nutrients. Children, more than any other segment of the population require foods rich in vitamins, minerals and the building blocks of growth and development. A consistent diet of chicken nuggets, hotdogs and Kraft Dinner do not make for healthy growing bodies.
In my care all the children eat homemade, whole, organic meals. I do not skimp or cut corners on meals and snacks. In fact, when doing my taxes for 2008 I discovered that it cost me nearly $8000 to provide that level of nutrition. Although my food costs are above average I wouldn't change. I am proud to serve the growing bodies for whom I care calorie and nutritionally dense foods.
Regardless of whether you are an organic foods supporter or not there are many quick, inexpensive and tricky ways to provide whole foods and not spend all day in the kitchen. Below I wanted to share with you a few of the foods I serve that the kids enjoy and actually eat. I encourage you all to share your foods with the rest of us as well.
Beefaroni - This is a crowd pleaser. When preparing this dish combine half a carton of cottage cheese with the rest of your ingredients right before you toss it in the oven. The cottage cheese will add protein and give the dish a creamy texture.
Chicken Nuggets - The kids love these. Simply cut up chicken breasts and dredge them through crushed corn-flake cereal. Give a quick spray with canola oil and toss in the oven.
Macaroni and Cheese - Another hands down favourite. Just like the beefaroni above, you can cut back on the amount of cheddar by tossing in some cottage cheese. Canned evaporated milk also adds a rich sauce without the added calories and expense of cream. Pureed cauliflower also adds to the texture and is barely detected by the vegetable police.
Tuna Sandwiches - A classic. Who doesn't love tuna sandwiches? Tuna packs more protein and less fat per gram than just about any other form of protein.
Quesadillas - Easy, and fast lunch on the fly. You can even customize them by adding or omitting the cheese or the meat.
Panzerotti - Toss some pizza dough ingredients in your bread maker in the morning and walk away to do circle time. At lunch time simply roll out some small rounds, fill them with toppings and bake them in the oven. Kids LOVE these.
Mini Burgers - Small hamburger patties on 'brown and serve' dinner rolls.
Grilled Cheese - Need I say more? But please, use real cheese!
Sloppy Joes - What could be more perfect - sloppy joes for sloppy eaters.
Meatloaf - Kids love these especially if you make them in muffin tins. Small things for small hands. These are easy to hide veggies in too. Just puree some veggies and toss it in with the ground meat.
Baked Apples - Cut up some apples into slices. Toss with cinnamon and bake in the oven until soft. The kids think this is dessert but it's just an apple.
Brownies - Use a traditional brownie recipe but substitute apple sauce for 3/4 of the oil and grind a few nuts to toss in as well. Healthy and taste great.
Muffins - Any muffin recipe can become a protein powerhouse. Toss in a scoop or two of whey protein powder with the dry ingredients. Just be sure to not fill the muffins cups too full as the protein will make them puff up more than usual.
Fruit Bowl - Cut up fruit with a small container of yogurt dip. Kids love to dip and they get fruit, dairy and some protein all in one.
Pancakes - You can easily make pancakes ahead of time and store them in the freezer. Take them out an hour or two before use. When ready to eat pop in microwave for a few seconds. You can also cook them with peanut butter or whey powder for a protein snack.
Banana Bread - Is there any better use for old bananas? This is good stuff. I like to bake it at nap time and have the first slice for myself with a cup of coffee before the kids get up. And the smell makes your neighbours envious!
Homemade Bread - You have a bread maker so use it. Homemade bread is cheap and tastes far better than store-bought. And, it can substitute for a treat anytime. How great is a thick slice of home made bread with butter and home made jam? Yum!
Cheese and Bacon Scones - Whip up some of these for a cold winter day. You can also toss in a grated veggie or substitute apples. Kids love these!
Pizza - This is the only thing I purchase pre-packaged for lunches. I could make it but the kids view pizza day as a big treat. I always watch for sales on these.
Shepherd's Pie - One of MY favorites because it's down right tasty and I can make it ahead and freeze it. The kids love it too.
Tacos - I'm not sure what the kids like most about these - the fact that they get to dress them themselves or that they can bite faces into the tortillas and wear them like masks. Either way it ends up in their bellies!
I hope the above ideas inspire you as you make lunch for the rest of the week. I know that I get into funks myself tired of making the same ole thing month after month. I welcome any of your suggestions and tricks to fabulous, kid-friendly meals.
Happy cooking!
In my care all the children eat homemade, whole, organic meals. I do not skimp or cut corners on meals and snacks. In fact, when doing my taxes for 2008 I discovered that it cost me nearly $8000 to provide that level of nutrition. Although my food costs are above average I wouldn't change. I am proud to serve the growing bodies for whom I care calorie and nutritionally dense foods.
Regardless of whether you are an organic foods supporter or not there are many quick, inexpensive and tricky ways to provide whole foods and not spend all day in the kitchen. Below I wanted to share with you a few of the foods I serve that the kids enjoy and actually eat. I encourage you all to share your foods with the rest of us as well.
Beefaroni - This is a crowd pleaser. When preparing this dish combine half a carton of cottage cheese with the rest of your ingredients right before you toss it in the oven. The cottage cheese will add protein and give the dish a creamy texture.
Chicken Nuggets - The kids love these. Simply cut up chicken breasts and dredge them through crushed corn-flake cereal. Give a quick spray with canola oil and toss in the oven.
Macaroni and Cheese - Another hands down favourite. Just like the beefaroni above, you can cut back on the amount of cheddar by tossing in some cottage cheese. Canned evaporated milk also adds a rich sauce without the added calories and expense of cream. Pureed cauliflower also adds to the texture and is barely detected by the vegetable police.
Tuna Sandwiches - A classic. Who doesn't love tuna sandwiches? Tuna packs more protein and less fat per gram than just about any other form of protein.
Quesadillas - Easy, and fast lunch on the fly. You can even customize them by adding or omitting the cheese or the meat.
Panzerotti - Toss some pizza dough ingredients in your bread maker in the morning and walk away to do circle time. At lunch time simply roll out some small rounds, fill them with toppings and bake them in the oven. Kids LOVE these.
Mini Burgers - Small hamburger patties on 'brown and serve' dinner rolls.
Grilled Cheese - Need I say more? But please, use real cheese!
Sloppy Joes - What could be more perfect - sloppy joes for sloppy eaters.
Meatloaf - Kids love these especially if you make them in muffin tins. Small things for small hands. These are easy to hide veggies in too. Just puree some veggies and toss it in with the ground meat.
Baked Apples - Cut up some apples into slices. Toss with cinnamon and bake in the oven until soft. The kids think this is dessert but it's just an apple.
Brownies - Use a traditional brownie recipe but substitute apple sauce for 3/4 of the oil and grind a few nuts to toss in as well. Healthy and taste great.
Muffins - Any muffin recipe can become a protein powerhouse. Toss in a scoop or two of whey protein powder with the dry ingredients. Just be sure to not fill the muffins cups too full as the protein will make them puff up more than usual.
Fruit Bowl - Cut up fruit with a small container of yogurt dip. Kids love to dip and they get fruit, dairy and some protein all in one.
Pancakes - You can easily make pancakes ahead of time and store them in the freezer. Take them out an hour or two before use. When ready to eat pop in microwave for a few seconds. You can also cook them with peanut butter or whey powder for a protein snack.
Banana Bread - Is there any better use for old bananas? This is good stuff. I like to bake it at nap time and have the first slice for myself with a cup of coffee before the kids get up. And the smell makes your neighbours envious!
Homemade Bread - You have a bread maker so use it. Homemade bread is cheap and tastes far better than store-bought. And, it can substitute for a treat anytime. How great is a thick slice of home made bread with butter and home made jam? Yum!
Cheese and Bacon Scones - Whip up some of these for a cold winter day. You can also toss in a grated veggie or substitute apples. Kids love these!
Pizza - This is the only thing I purchase pre-packaged for lunches. I could make it but the kids view pizza day as a big treat. I always watch for sales on these.
Shepherd's Pie - One of MY favorites because it's down right tasty and I can make it ahead and freeze it. The kids love it too.
Tacos - I'm not sure what the kids like most about these - the fact that they get to dress them themselves or that they can bite faces into the tortillas and wear them like masks. Either way it ends up in their bellies!
I hope the above ideas inspire you as you make lunch for the rest of the week. I know that I get into funks myself tired of making the same ole thing month after month. I welcome any of your suggestions and tricks to fabulous, kid-friendly meals.
Happy cooking!
Kids Like Mental Health Days Too
When you were a kid who did you like to be with most in the world? My guess is if you think back to the best times in your life the answer would be one of a few people. You would chose to remember your mother, your father, and your grandparents. We all had that one special aunt or uncle in our lives too. But, for the most part you probably enjoyed the company of your parents in your early years. Things have not changed in this regard. Kids still prefer to be with their parents. In fact, one of my favourite quotes is, "Kids need QUANTITY time not QUALITY time". Plain and simple, your kids just want to be with you.
It always bothers me when I have a child in care whose parent is not working but does not chose to spend that time with their child. I really have a hard time wrapping my head around that choice. I know that raising kids can be stressful. Hey, I have a house full of them each and every day and rarely get a break. Most of those kids are not mine but they are still a handful and a lot of work. I can see the need for 'you' time. I too like to have time to myself although I rarely get it. Those few times I have had the opportunity to be alone or enjoy a manicure or a hair cut my children have been with my husband while I ventured out of the home. If I were a working mom, outside of the home, with my children in daycare, I would relish every moment I could get with my child. I certainly would not chose to leave my child in daycare so I could enjoy a shopping trip. It is one thing to leave your child with your spouse while you enjoy time alone and quite another to leave them in daycare.
Children do not like daycare. I don't care what parents or providers say to counter this comment I remain steadfast in this view. Yes, children have fun, do activities and interact with other children while in care. I also did this as a child. I did not cry or scream or carry on because I did not have a choice or the luxury to voice it. To the casual observer I appeared happy, calm and content. However, given the opportunity I would have chosen to not go to daycare and thus be away from my home and family. However, we don't always get what we want from life and there will be, and are times that we are forced to be placed in environments for periods of time that provide positive aspects to the rest of our lives. As much as the children in my care might be very fond of me I am not their parent and therefore not their first priority in how they would choose to best spend their time. Kids would always prefer to be with a parent than a daycare provider.
It saddens me a parent drops off a child clearly not dressed for work and goes off to spend their day doing enjoyable things when their child would love the opportunity to do those things along side them. The argument I hear most in this regard is that kids don't want to go grocery shopping or to the mall or watch you garden. I disagree. Kids would much rather be with you in these endeavours than sitting in a playroom all day under the direction of someone who does not view them as the pure miracle and treasure as a parent does and should. I genuinely like the children I care for but I know that my feelings for them do not even begin to equate to the bond between the child and the parent. Call it maternalism, or evolution - call it what you want but it is undeniably there.
I get paid for a full day of care regardless of attendance. If you choose to leave your child in care or take them shopping with you on your day off it makes no monetary impact on me. I have nothing to gain by holding this view. The only thing I gain is a disregard for your ill-placed priorities and selfishness. Yes, there I said it - selfishness. I too think about how wonderful it would be to stroll the mall and leave my kids behind. But, I am a parent and my kids are my first priority - not the store fronts I might want to browse or the quiet sun tan I might want to attain on my deck. It's not all about me. It's about them. Besides, just knowing daycare from the other side would make me feel so damned guilty that I could never follow through with my plans anyway.
Kids who attend daycare often spend forty to fifty hours a week away from their parents. Many of these young children are not able to express their own thoughts and feelings. One must assume, that if asked they would answer a resounding "Yes" to a special day with mommy. After all, if mommy feels she needs a special day then perhaps so does her child. Kids are people too. Small people but still people.
So, next time you are shopping sans stroller I hope you are happy and guilt-free. And if you do feel guilt then perhaps that's a signal. And if you don't? Well, then I feel sorry for you because you are missing precious time with your child that will pass by all too quickly.
It always bothers me when I have a child in care whose parent is not working but does not chose to spend that time with their child. I really have a hard time wrapping my head around that choice. I know that raising kids can be stressful. Hey, I have a house full of them each and every day and rarely get a break. Most of those kids are not mine but they are still a handful and a lot of work. I can see the need for 'you' time. I too like to have time to myself although I rarely get it. Those few times I have had the opportunity to be alone or enjoy a manicure or a hair cut my children have been with my husband while I ventured out of the home. If I were a working mom, outside of the home, with my children in daycare, I would relish every moment I could get with my child. I certainly would not chose to leave my child in daycare so I could enjoy a shopping trip. It is one thing to leave your child with your spouse while you enjoy time alone and quite another to leave them in daycare.
Children do not like daycare. I don't care what parents or providers say to counter this comment I remain steadfast in this view. Yes, children have fun, do activities and interact with other children while in care. I also did this as a child. I did not cry or scream or carry on because I did not have a choice or the luxury to voice it. To the casual observer I appeared happy, calm and content. However, given the opportunity I would have chosen to not go to daycare and thus be away from my home and family. However, we don't always get what we want from life and there will be, and are times that we are forced to be placed in environments for periods of time that provide positive aspects to the rest of our lives. As much as the children in my care might be very fond of me I am not their parent and therefore not their first priority in how they would choose to best spend their time. Kids would always prefer to be with a parent than a daycare provider.
It saddens me a parent drops off a child clearly not dressed for work and goes off to spend their day doing enjoyable things when their child would love the opportunity to do those things along side them. The argument I hear most in this regard is that kids don't want to go grocery shopping or to the mall or watch you garden. I disagree. Kids would much rather be with you in these endeavours than sitting in a playroom all day under the direction of someone who does not view them as the pure miracle and treasure as a parent does and should. I genuinely like the children I care for but I know that my feelings for them do not even begin to equate to the bond between the child and the parent. Call it maternalism, or evolution - call it what you want but it is undeniably there.
I get paid for a full day of care regardless of attendance. If you choose to leave your child in care or take them shopping with you on your day off it makes no monetary impact on me. I have nothing to gain by holding this view. The only thing I gain is a disregard for your ill-placed priorities and selfishness. Yes, there I said it - selfishness. I too think about how wonderful it would be to stroll the mall and leave my kids behind. But, I am a parent and my kids are my first priority - not the store fronts I might want to browse or the quiet sun tan I might want to attain on my deck. It's not all about me. It's about them. Besides, just knowing daycare from the other side would make me feel so damned guilty that I could never follow through with my plans anyway.
Kids who attend daycare often spend forty to fifty hours a week away from their parents. Many of these young children are not able to express their own thoughts and feelings. One must assume, that if asked they would answer a resounding "Yes" to a special day with mommy. After all, if mommy feels she needs a special day then perhaps so does her child. Kids are people too. Small people but still people.
So, next time you are shopping sans stroller I hope you are happy and guilt-free. And if you do feel guilt then perhaps that's a signal. And if you don't? Well, then I feel sorry for you because you are missing precious time with your child that will pass by all too quickly.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Puke Is Not Pretty
Nutritionists don't know what they're talking about. Who is it that decided that we should eat all of our colours each day? Leafy greens, fruity reds, orange carrots...blah, blah, blah. Yeah, blah is exactly what I feel when I have just watched a child vomit that rainbow of colours onto my beige Berber carpet. There is no glowing hue of colour in either my disposition or the child's face for that matter. Puke is not pretty. The contents going in might have been well-intentioned but their inappropriate exit is not.
But how did we get here? How did we go from a seemingly healthy child at drop-off to a human projectile launcher a mere three hours later at snack time? And a better question yet is - why do children eat when they feel like a raging volcano has taken over their body? The eruption is sure to come.
Back to my question; how did we get here? Hmmmm.......well, I could probably count a thousand ways a child could go from healthy to vomiting in a three hour time frame but hey, you all know me by now. I'm going to talk about vomiting in relation to daycare and how it appears on my previously vomit-virgin carpet.
So, the child has vomited. You are left with the clean up that ultimately always results in your gag reflex doing its part. On top of the sudden queasiness that you feel you are also obligated to keep the crawling 12 month old from using it as a slippery slide while coaxing the vomiter to a more puke-patronizing area of the house. At the same time you are cursing yourself for not going out the night before to pick up more paper towels as you try to clean it all up with just two squares. Yeah, what the hell is that Bounty commercial talking about? This certainly is NOT a two square situation. Alas, you get the carpet to a state in which you no longer have to worry that the dog might view it as a tasty treat and you clean up the accused. Now it's time for the phone call.
Ah, the phone call. Don't you love those daycare moments when you actually have to use the emergency numbers provided? If you are a religious person you pray silently and with great fervour that the number is still correct, the extension provided works and the parent isn't in a meeting. As the ring continues to play in your ear you start to make deals with the almighty, "please God, let her pick- up. I promise I will not use your name in vain anymore when I think of words to describe daycare parents". And then......the click.....voicemail. Feeling helpless and defeated you leave a frantic message, hang up and start to dial the next parent's work number. Finally you get dad on the phone. He doesn't see the problem. "Hey", he says, "Just give him some Gravol and some ginger-ale and he'll be fine. It worked great last night".
Yet again, another situation we have all experienced. A child who was previously ill - vomited even - who was dropped off into your care that morning. The contract is very clear of course. There is no room for misinterpretation. But, here you are, vomiting child, father who refuses to come pick up and a voicemail still out in the abyss. And rest assured, now that dad knows he is sure to call mom and that damned call-display function now becomes your arch enemy.
Vomiting children should not be at daycare - period. There is not one exception to this rule. It is not the responsibility of a daycare provider to care for sick children. We operate well-child facilities. I do not have a degree in nursing nor do I intend to. Besides, who wants to be anywhere but home when they are expelling the contents of their stomach? Do parents stay at work when vomiting? Of course not. Why, oh, why do they think it should be any different for a child? Sick kids need Mommy and Daddy more than any other time. They need comfort and attention and their own things surrounding them. Why do parents not get this?
My biggest peeve with vomiting children is that in most cases the child had already thrown up at home. Of course, most parents have different terminology for vomit when it has happened within the 24 hour period that the contract clearly states the child can not attend. Parents call vomit many names, among them, spit-up, reflux and gagging. Wow, amazing isn't it? There must be something about daycare that brings on actual vomiting. What else am I to think? The child never does it at home. Must be something he ate while in my care. Yeeahhh....that's it.
What would I do in the above scenario? I would keep calling the parents. Well, to be honest, dad would have known better than to even open his mouth and tell me he wasn't coming to pick up the child. Parents in my care don't do these things. And, if he had I would have been very prone to put all the kids in my van, drive over to dad's workplace and hand him his son, vomit covered clothing and all. In fact, I have even encouraged other providers to do this in similar situations. As of yet, no one has ever met the challenge.
If children become ill in care I demand that parents pick up their child in a reasonable amount of time. And no, one hour is NOT reasonable. Kids do get sick on the spur of the moment. Even I can admit that. But, for those children who were knowingly dropped off after having vomited last night's dinner and breakfast that morning? Well, let's just say that today's vomit pick up will be their last. Did they think I was kidding when I went over that part of the contract?
But how did we get here? How did we go from a seemingly healthy child at drop-off to a human projectile launcher a mere three hours later at snack time? And a better question yet is - why do children eat when they feel like a raging volcano has taken over their body? The eruption is sure to come.
Back to my question; how did we get here? Hmmmm.......well, I could probably count a thousand ways a child could go from healthy to vomiting in a three hour time frame but hey, you all know me by now. I'm going to talk about vomiting in relation to daycare and how it appears on my previously vomit-virgin carpet.
So, the child has vomited. You are left with the clean up that ultimately always results in your gag reflex doing its part. On top of the sudden queasiness that you feel you are also obligated to keep the crawling 12 month old from using it as a slippery slide while coaxing the vomiter to a more puke-patronizing area of the house. At the same time you are cursing yourself for not going out the night before to pick up more paper towels as you try to clean it all up with just two squares. Yeah, what the hell is that Bounty commercial talking about? This certainly is NOT a two square situation. Alas, you get the carpet to a state in which you no longer have to worry that the dog might view it as a tasty treat and you clean up the accused. Now it's time for the phone call.
Ah, the phone call. Don't you love those daycare moments when you actually have to use the emergency numbers provided? If you are a religious person you pray silently and with great fervour that the number is still correct, the extension provided works and the parent isn't in a meeting. As the ring continues to play in your ear you start to make deals with the almighty, "please God, let her pick- up. I promise I will not use your name in vain anymore when I think of words to describe daycare parents". And then......the click.....voicemail. Feeling helpless and defeated you leave a frantic message, hang up and start to dial the next parent's work number. Finally you get dad on the phone. He doesn't see the problem. "Hey", he says, "Just give him some Gravol and some ginger-ale and he'll be fine. It worked great last night".
Yet again, another situation we have all experienced. A child who was previously ill - vomited even - who was dropped off into your care that morning. The contract is very clear of course. There is no room for misinterpretation. But, here you are, vomiting child, father who refuses to come pick up and a voicemail still out in the abyss. And rest assured, now that dad knows he is sure to call mom and that damned call-display function now becomes your arch enemy.
Vomiting children should not be at daycare - period. There is not one exception to this rule. It is not the responsibility of a daycare provider to care for sick children. We operate well-child facilities. I do not have a degree in nursing nor do I intend to. Besides, who wants to be anywhere but home when they are expelling the contents of their stomach? Do parents stay at work when vomiting? Of course not. Why, oh, why do they think it should be any different for a child? Sick kids need Mommy and Daddy more than any other time. They need comfort and attention and their own things surrounding them. Why do parents not get this?
My biggest peeve with vomiting children is that in most cases the child had already thrown up at home. Of course, most parents have different terminology for vomit when it has happened within the 24 hour period that the contract clearly states the child can not attend. Parents call vomit many names, among them, spit-up, reflux and gagging. Wow, amazing isn't it? There must be something about daycare that brings on actual vomiting. What else am I to think? The child never does it at home. Must be something he ate while in my care. Yeeahhh....that's it.
What would I do in the above scenario? I would keep calling the parents. Well, to be honest, dad would have known better than to even open his mouth and tell me he wasn't coming to pick up the child. Parents in my care don't do these things. And, if he had I would have been very prone to put all the kids in my van, drive over to dad's workplace and hand him his son, vomit covered clothing and all. In fact, I have even encouraged other providers to do this in similar situations. As of yet, no one has ever met the challenge.
If children become ill in care I demand that parents pick up their child in a reasonable amount of time. And no, one hour is NOT reasonable. Kids do get sick on the spur of the moment. Even I can admit that. But, for those children who were knowingly dropped off after having vomited last night's dinner and breakfast that morning? Well, let's just say that today's vomit pick up will be their last. Did they think I was kidding when I went over that part of the contract?
Daycare For Teachers - This Is For You, Sarah
Ah, summers off. What could be more heavenly? Every provider has pondered this scenario at least once. We all look forward to the much anticipated summer ahead and dream about what it would be like if we could be alone with our thoughts while soaking in the sun instead of the constant bickering and utterings of "I'm bored" from those school-aged kids we are kicking ourselves for taking. We wonder what summer would be like without five kids in tow and start to plan how we could make it happen.
There is a perfect market that is much ignored in daycare and that is teachers. Teachers have three weeks throughout the school year and another nine weeks each summer wherein they do not need care for their child nor do they wish to pay for it. And, if you are able to go without your full income for nine weeks a year this might be an avenue for you to explore further.
Through the years I have had many teachers inquire about care. In the beginning my inexperience caused me to turn many of them away for fear that I would lose alot of income that was sorely needed. However, I realized that teachers can be a blessing in disguise for the daycare provider.
Teachers are the closest thing, with respect to their jobs, to daycare providers. Like us, teachers also deal with the same kids every day, answer to parents, have their own experiences with double-barrelled snot, head lice, behavioural problems and work hours outside of those they spend between the brick walls of the school. They rarely get real breaks and for most of the day are stuck inside with kids. Most teachers I have encountered "get" daycare. In fact, for all the families I have provider care teachers have been some of the best.
The obstacle for most providers with respect to teachers is money. How do you provide care all year and not have the ability to charge for school breaks and summer vacation? The answer is easy - higher fees. Below is an example of the fee structure I use for teachers:
My normal rate of care for NON-teachers is $35 per day. The average work year has 260paid daycare days including paid statutory holiday. You can use your own fees and figure it out as well. Add an additional $4-5 per day fee on top of the regular fees to come up with the teacher's fee. So....
$35 x 260 days = $9100 - this is the annual amount for non-teachers
$40 X 200 (the number of care days needed by teachers) = $8000 - this is the annual amount for teachers at a higher daily rate
Add to the teacher rate a non-refundable $200 deposit to be made in June to secure their spot for September.
If you look at the calculations above you will see that you only lose $900 per child each year but you do not have to work over Christmas, March Break or Summer vacation. Plus if you factor in the cost of providing care you will also conclude that your $900 deficit actually comes closer to a deficit of only $500 per child each year.
The decision to take on teachers and potentially off-set your income by as much as $2000 a year can only be made by each individual depending on your circumstances and income needs. However, it can be a great idea for those who are prone to burn-out and need to regroup and relax each year. The other plus is that each year can be taken one at a time. If your group is not working well then you have the opportunity each June to reassess and take on new children for the following September.
My own family dynamics do not allow me to work exclusively with teachers right now but it is an idea I have come back to many times through the years. It could be a wonderful daycare opportunity for many providers. It's a win-win situation for all involved and perfect for those providers who have young children in school.
There are many different daycare situations and a provider and market for each one. Be the provider YOU want to be by finding your niche and going for it. Do you want to have every summer off? Then get out there and advertise for teachers. Whatever you chose, be happy. Only you can make that happen.
Creating A Home Within Your Daycare
When I first started daycare many years ago I operated out of my living room. Although I had a basement it was too dark and only had one small window. I worried that in the case of fire I would never be able to get the children out the window. So, that meant the only option left in my 1200 square foot home was to share my living space with daycare space. There were toys in my living room, playpens in every bedroom and booster seats and a small picnic table in my kitchen. I am a neat freak by nature and the constant state of stuff in my home made me crazy. I felt surrounded every minute of the day. At night I also found it incredibly hard to settle my mind because my work was always right there staring me in the face.
One day, while cleaning out our very small garage I had a thought. Wouldn't it be so nice to have a dedicated daycare space that had a door that I could just close and walk away from at the end of the day. This is how it became that my hubby was thrust into the garage renovation project. He took a space that was too small to park our van and transformed it into a cozy, warm space that I could then call my work space. It was one step off of the main floor of our home. It had a newly installed large window, venting, commercial grade easy to clean carpet and bright lights. It was delightful. This space housed all the toys, the daycare television, the learning materials, the craft area and even doubled as the dining room and nap room at other times of the day.
Once I had the experience of having a dedicated space for daycare it made a very big difference in my attitude. No longer did I have toys strewn throughout my house. I never had finger smudges on my appliances or kiss marks on my windows. It was like reclaiming my home. I was earning a living in my home but not sharing it with the world.
Late last year we moved to a larger home as my own family needed more space. As we viewed possible homes I always kept in mind that I needed a space that was ready for daycare or could, with little money and mediocre skill be converted into a dedicated space. When we found the home we purchased it was perfect in that it afforded my family a home and me a business. My daycare is now housed in my finished, half-walk-out basement. The windows are large and bright and the general feel of the basement is that of any other level of the house. It is truly a bright, inviting space. And, best of all, I can close the door and walk away from it each day at 4:30pm. The children do not use any other area of my home with the exception of the yard. My own family doesn't feel like they are at work nine hours a day while trying to enjoy their down time.
Not everyone has the opportunity or the space to renovate an area strictly for daycare. But, there are many things you can do in the space you do have to make it more manageable during your non-working hours. Look around your home and find those areas that you don't really use. The garage was our area. It housed many things but realistically it was just a dumping ground for things we should have purged long ago. We built a shed to house those items that were actually needed and tossed those that were not. Perhaps you have a junk area like this in your home.
I can not tell you the difference it makes to no longer share your house with the children you care for. It helps you to calm down at the end of the day and maintain a state of order while you are working. The best compliment I ever had about my home was from a family member who visited and said, "Wow, you can't even tell you run a daycare". And that's exactly what I hoped for.
One day, while cleaning out our very small garage I had a thought. Wouldn't it be so nice to have a dedicated daycare space that had a door that I could just close and walk away from at the end of the day. This is how it became that my hubby was thrust into the garage renovation project. He took a space that was too small to park our van and transformed it into a cozy, warm space that I could then call my work space. It was one step off of the main floor of our home. It had a newly installed large window, venting, commercial grade easy to clean carpet and bright lights. It was delightful. This space housed all the toys, the daycare television, the learning materials, the craft area and even doubled as the dining room and nap room at other times of the day.
Once I had the experience of having a dedicated space for daycare it made a very big difference in my attitude. No longer did I have toys strewn throughout my house. I never had finger smudges on my appliances or kiss marks on my windows. It was like reclaiming my home. I was earning a living in my home but not sharing it with the world.
Late last year we moved to a larger home as my own family needed more space. As we viewed possible homes I always kept in mind that I needed a space that was ready for daycare or could, with little money and mediocre skill be converted into a dedicated space. When we found the home we purchased it was perfect in that it afforded my family a home and me a business. My daycare is now housed in my finished, half-walk-out basement. The windows are large and bright and the general feel of the basement is that of any other level of the house. It is truly a bright, inviting space. And, best of all, I can close the door and walk away from it each day at 4:30pm. The children do not use any other area of my home with the exception of the yard. My own family doesn't feel like they are at work nine hours a day while trying to enjoy their down time.
Not everyone has the opportunity or the space to renovate an area strictly for daycare. But, there are many things you can do in the space you do have to make it more manageable during your non-working hours. Look around your home and find those areas that you don't really use. The garage was our area. It housed many things but realistically it was just a dumping ground for things we should have purged long ago. We built a shed to house those items that were actually needed and tossed those that were not. Perhaps you have a junk area like this in your home.
I can not tell you the difference it makes to no longer share your house with the children you care for. It helps you to calm down at the end of the day and maintain a state of order while you are working. The best compliment I ever had about my home was from a family member who visited and said, "Wow, you can't even tell you run a daycare". And that's exactly what I hoped for.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Love Me, Hate Me, But Let Me Be Me
I have been reading the comments on this blog and there have been some really great ones thus far. But a few in particular have me rolling my eyes and chuckling to myself. The comments I am referring to can be found here and here
I think it is important to address the reason for the creation of this blog and why the readership has been increasing daily with many, many of you taking the time to contact me via email with your support. I thank all of you who have taken the time to send off a message. It is really appreciated.
As a member of a number of daycare provider message boards I found that many, many providers are very tired people. Tired of being taken advantage of, tired of being misunderstood, tired of being someones doormat, tired of having to fight day in and day out to receive what it is they deserve - common respect and an accurate pay cheque. In fact, many of the message boards out there are private. Why is this? They are private because daycare providers aren't allowed to openly vent about their jobs. And, if there is another job wherein you work harder and get paid so little with such great responsibility I would surely appreciate your telling me what it is. And, I am sure that those individuals employed in those jobs have their list of grievances too. The difference is that for them, it is socially acceptable to voice those grievances.
Daycare providers are held to a different societal standard. The fact that we work with children makes many of those who, even on their best day, could never do our job judge us and our misgivings harshly. We are not allowed to be anything but rosy-cheeked, bubbly people who are at the control of our charges and the parents who pay us. This is society's view. When a daycare provider openly complains about their job they are often attacked and flamed. If you don't agree then I challenge anyone to make up a complaint, go to a popular parenting board and post it. I can guarantee that by the end of the day you will need the assistance of the burn unit at your local hospital. And for goodness sake do NOT use your real name or you risk real and serious repercussions.
Our jobs are to care for children but those same children are products of the clients that pay us - the parents. Therefore, a problem with a child is really a problem with a parent. We all know this. Daycare provider or parent alone -we know this. If my own child has a behavioural problem it is reflected on my parenting or lack thereof. I can hardly blame a child for acting in a manner for which it was taught was acceptable. And those who teach children are adults. A problem with a child in care is a problem with the parent of that child - period. Every once in a while you will find a parent who is on the same page and shares your views and the problem is easily and quickly solved by a united front both at home and at daycare. However, this situation is not the norm and it is more likely that a problem becomes a battle of wills between the provider and the parent. The child is trapped in the middle experiencing two different environments with different expectations.
Most providers I know personally are very upfront with their policies, discipline, and parenting philosophy during the initial interview. We are not hiding anything. We are not trying to win the parents over. Simply put, we are open, honest and want those in care who share our views. It is painfully obvious where we stand and if a parent chooses to place their child in our care then they also take on the expectations of the provider. If the parent did not agree then perhaps they should have continued their search elsewhere.
Therefore, this blog simply voices the concerns, frustrations and daily adventures that 99% of all providers face. Even our best attempts at being open and honest are often not considered. This leads to the very problems I write about everyday.
I welcome your comments - all of them. Negative or positive all comments are welcome here on this blog. I will not gag-order anyone simply because I am tired of being gag-ordered myself and so are a lot of other providers. So, love me or hate me - your choice. But I will continue to speak the truth for myself and those who can't. I'm tired of being silent.
You Know You're A Daycare Provider When....
We've all been there - those times when you suddenly realize that your job as a daycare provider has completely encompassed your life. It is in these moments that you find yourself break a smile and laugh.
My most memorable one of these moments was at a time when, every day, I piled up all of my daycare kids in the van to do two school runs. It was a Saturday so of course I had no one in care that day. I was on my way to the grocery store. The weather was beautiful, the windows in the van were down and I was alone. Oh, how I was cherishing that hour of solitude even if it was just a trip to the grocery store.
While driving I was taking in the view of the opening spring flowers and the people who were enjoying their yards after months of hibernation. I was singing along to the CD player and feeling the wind in my hair. I pulled up to a stop light and peered down at the two young men in the very nice car in the left turn lane next to me. They were looking at me very strangely and that's when I realized it - Oh....My...God! I was rockin' away to The Little People On The Farm CD. How utterly embarrassing. I don't know what was more damaged - my dignity or the sudden realization that my entire life had been encompassed by daycare. What the heck had happened to the person I thought I was?
There are so many other times I could think of that demonstrate how easily we all get wrapped up in our jobs. Although we might only work fifty hours a week I doubt that many of you have forgotten about daycare all of the other hours of the week. Below is a list of tell-tale signs that you are in way too deep my friend. If you recognize yourself in any of the following examples I recommend a spa day far, far away from anyone who is less than five feet tall.
Baby Days - If you get excited when the Sears flyer comes to your house advertising Baby Days sales and your own kids haven't worn a diaper in five years you are too far gone for help.
Yard Sales - I can spot these people and recognize them as providers each and every time. You're the women whose husband is driving and doesn't want to stop at every yard sale on the 100 km trip to Canada's Wonderland. You, however can't help yourself. Who knows, there might be a sand table or a riding toy just waiting for you to scoop it up. You are the ladies whose head is out the window and hair is flapping in the wind like a dog on a summer car ride as your hubby quickly speeds by the property in question. You steal a glance and wonder the rest of the trip if that really was a folding Little Tykes table you saw.
Kijiji Watchers - You comb Kijiji like a stalker. Every mom in a 50 km radius knows who you are because you are the first person to respond to any add under the 'Toys' section.
Provider Stalkers - Every time you pass by a park or playland you can instantly spot the provider. It's like opening up a 'Where's Waldo' book. You know within thirty seconds who is the provider and you do the additional book finds by pointing out every child at the park who is in her care. This also applies if you know of all the providers in your neighbourhood if only by their address because every time you pass by her property you glance into her yard to check out her stock of daycare toys hoping that one day she has a yard sale.
Private Park - If your backyard is a cooler place than the neighbourhood park you are surely a daycare provider. In fact, I will admit I am guilty too. I have even used the line, "We don't need to go to the park. There's one in my backyard", on those busy days when I don't have the time or ambition to load everyone up for a two hour excursion.
Seek And Find Shopper - These are the people whose shrill scream of delight you hear from seven aisles away in the grocery store. This woman has just discovered, the day after Easter, that all of the Pillsbury Easter cookie dough sheets are on clearance at fifty cents each and the activity possibilities are running through her mind at warp speeds.
The Hoverer - We've all done it. We're at the park and one child who belongs to someone else is climbing too high or running to the road while the mom responsible for the child is too busy on her cell phone. You're the person who keeps running after the child or coaxing them to come down because they are too high. You're also the woman who isn't shy about telling the ten year olds at the park that "slides are for going down not up".
The Transporter - If you own anything with wheels that is not sold by the tanking automotive industry that accommodates more than three children at one time you are surely a daycare provider. This should be readily apparent by anyone else as well. I always love it when I am asked by someone if they are "all mine". Yeah, I'm insane and have the miraculous ability to pump out seven children in less than four years.
Windows 2010 - You are a better multi-tasker than Bill Gates could ever incorporate into his best selling operating system. You have the uncanny ability to change a diaper, answer the phone, wipe a nose, tell the child on the table to get down, all the while monitoring the playdoh area in the corner. I don't know about you but every time I try to get windows to do that many things at once my computer shuts down. Sadly, we don't have that option.
If you have recognized some of your own attributes in the examples above I encourage you to get help. Get in your car and drive in solitude far, far away from everyone else. Oh, and for goodness sake, take out the CD.
My most memorable one of these moments was at a time when, every day, I piled up all of my daycare kids in the van to do two school runs. It was a Saturday so of course I had no one in care that day. I was on my way to the grocery store. The weather was beautiful, the windows in the van were down and I was alone. Oh, how I was cherishing that hour of solitude even if it was just a trip to the grocery store.
While driving I was taking in the view of the opening spring flowers and the people who were enjoying their yards after months of hibernation. I was singing along to the CD player and feeling the wind in my hair. I pulled up to a stop light and peered down at the two young men in the very nice car in the left turn lane next to me. They were looking at me very strangely and that's when I realized it - Oh....My...God! I was rockin' away to The Little People On The Farm CD. How utterly embarrassing. I don't know what was more damaged - my dignity or the sudden realization that my entire life had been encompassed by daycare. What the heck had happened to the person I thought I was?
There are so many other times I could think of that demonstrate how easily we all get wrapped up in our jobs. Although we might only work fifty hours a week I doubt that many of you have forgotten about daycare all of the other hours of the week. Below is a list of tell-tale signs that you are in way too deep my friend. If you recognize yourself in any of the following examples I recommend a spa day far, far away from anyone who is less than five feet tall.
Baby Days - If you get excited when the Sears flyer comes to your house advertising Baby Days sales and your own kids haven't worn a diaper in five years you are too far gone for help.
Yard Sales - I can spot these people and recognize them as providers each and every time. You're the women whose husband is driving and doesn't want to stop at every yard sale on the 100 km trip to Canada's Wonderland. You, however can't help yourself. Who knows, there might be a sand table or a riding toy just waiting for you to scoop it up. You are the ladies whose head is out the window and hair is flapping in the wind like a dog on a summer car ride as your hubby quickly speeds by the property in question. You steal a glance and wonder the rest of the trip if that really was a folding Little Tykes table you saw.
Kijiji Watchers - You comb Kijiji like a stalker. Every mom in a 50 km radius knows who you are because you are the first person to respond to any add under the 'Toys' section.
Provider Stalkers - Every time you pass by a park or playland you can instantly spot the provider. It's like opening up a 'Where's Waldo' book. You know within thirty seconds who is the provider and you do the additional book finds by pointing out every child at the park who is in her care. This also applies if you know of all the providers in your neighbourhood if only by their address because every time you pass by her property you glance into her yard to check out her stock of daycare toys hoping that one day she has a yard sale.
Private Park - If your backyard is a cooler place than the neighbourhood park you are surely a daycare provider. In fact, I will admit I am guilty too. I have even used the line, "We don't need to go to the park. There's one in my backyard", on those busy days when I don't have the time or ambition to load everyone up for a two hour excursion.
Seek And Find Shopper - These are the people whose shrill scream of delight you hear from seven aisles away in the grocery store. This woman has just discovered, the day after Easter, that all of the Pillsbury Easter cookie dough sheets are on clearance at fifty cents each and the activity possibilities are running through her mind at warp speeds.
The Hoverer - We've all done it. We're at the park and one child who belongs to someone else is climbing too high or running to the road while the mom responsible for the child is too busy on her cell phone. You're the person who keeps running after the child or coaxing them to come down because they are too high. You're also the woman who isn't shy about telling the ten year olds at the park that "slides are for going down not up".
The Transporter - If you own anything with wheels that is not sold by the tanking automotive industry that accommodates more than three children at one time you are surely a daycare provider. This should be readily apparent by anyone else as well. I always love it when I am asked by someone if they are "all mine". Yeah, I'm insane and have the miraculous ability to pump out seven children in less than four years.
Windows 2010 - You are a better multi-tasker than Bill Gates could ever incorporate into his best selling operating system. You have the uncanny ability to change a diaper, answer the phone, wipe a nose, tell the child on the table to get down, all the while monitoring the playdoh area in the corner. I don't know about you but every time I try to get windows to do that many things at once my computer shuts down. Sadly, we don't have that option.
If you have recognized some of your own attributes in the examples above I encourage you to get help. Get in your car and drive in solitude far, far away from everyone else. Oh, and for goodness sake, take out the CD.
I Can't Locate Your Child
Oh how I have always wanted to say those exact words to a parent a pick-up. I would love to watch the panic stricken look on their face. Of course, I would be somewhat kind. After telling them that I can not locate their child I would follow that line with, "But don't worry, I do have the blanket, the soother, the doll and the matchbox car they carried in with them today. Hey, four out of five isn't bad, right?".
Really and truly, do you not get tired of having all the stuff these kids carry in to your home every morning? I know I do. I mean come on - FOUR or FIVE additional items to add to the essentials. It's not bad enough that I have to keep track of whose diapers belong to whom, whose extra clothes belong to which child, what coat, shoes, sun hat, winter mitts and hats, etc etc are allocated to each individual but I also have to be accountable for all of the paraphernalia they cart along with them each and every day?
Every child has one object they adore. And, if I was honest I would tell you that I really don't mind a child carrying around their special blanket or their small stuffed zebra. However, I draw the line at a child showing up clinging for their dear life to an unopened phone bill envelope from home. Okay, is the possession of a phone bill really necessary? Is it really appropriate for a child to carry around an envelope for the next nine hours? What happened at home that perpetuated this situation? I know their home has plenty of toys. I've seen them all show up at my door step at one time or another. No, it's not a lack of toys that allowed for a two year old to be carrying the family phone bill. Perhaps a lack of parenting is at play yet again. Gasp......"Why does that mean lady keep saying that parents are always at fault? She's not very nice is she?". Yes, I AM a mind-reader!
If it's not a lack of parenting then who is in charge in your home? Is there someone else there who is responsible for the decision making when it comes to who gets to carry around your household bills? Yeah, I think you're getting it now.
There came a point recently on a particular day wherein I had five children in care. Accompanying these five children were a combined total of 12 items; 3 blankets, 2 soothers, 1 sippy cup, 2 dolls, 1 Bell phone bill, 1 feather, 1 old cellphone, and a life-sized Winnie The Pooh. Are you kidding me? How the hell am I supposed to keep track of all of these items? Something snapped inside of me that morning. I couldn't take it one more minute. I could barely see the children for all the crap they had in their arms. I took each and every diaper bag, went over to each child and had THEM put their belongings in the bag. Was I popular? Um...No, but I'm getting pretty used to that role. Were there a lot of tears and some screaming? Yes, there certainly were. I put all of those now over-stuffed bags in the closet and corralled everyone into the playroom.
Something strange happened that day. The kids played, they were happy. There wasn't anyone sitting in the fuzzy chair all day clutching an object like life as we know it would end if it were to disappear. It was amazing. And another funny thing happened too. Not a single child asked for those items that day. And the next day every child came into my door still carrying their myriad of things. I simply held out their bags and the children put their items in the bag themselves. No tears, no tantrums. They knew better than to throw the same fit with me that they had done five minutes previously with their parents in order to get the phone bill to my home yet again. They knew that crying and screaming would result in the same end - the items would still be in the bag.
Now I still have a closet full of dolls, blankets, soothers, and enormous stuffed toys but they stay there all day. The parents know this and most of them are okay with it. There are a few who think I am a daycare Nazi. I'm okay with that too. And should they decide to bring up the subject I will be open to compromise. I will simply give them an option - "What would you prefer, that I keep track of and care for your phone bill or your child?". Either one is fine with me.
If you are new to this blog Click Here to meet the babysitter.
Really and truly, do you not get tired of having all the stuff these kids carry in to your home every morning? I know I do. I mean come on - FOUR or FIVE additional items to add to the essentials. It's not bad enough that I have to keep track of whose diapers belong to whom, whose extra clothes belong to which child, what coat, shoes, sun hat, winter mitts and hats, etc etc are allocated to each individual but I also have to be accountable for all of the paraphernalia they cart along with them each and every day?
Every child has one object they adore. And, if I was honest I would tell you that I really don't mind a child carrying around their special blanket or their small stuffed zebra. However, I draw the line at a child showing up clinging for their dear life to an unopened phone bill envelope from home. Okay, is the possession of a phone bill really necessary? Is it really appropriate for a child to carry around an envelope for the next nine hours? What happened at home that perpetuated this situation? I know their home has plenty of toys. I've seen them all show up at my door step at one time or another. No, it's not a lack of toys that allowed for a two year old to be carrying the family phone bill. Perhaps a lack of parenting is at play yet again. Gasp......"Why does that mean lady keep saying that parents are always at fault? She's not very nice is she?". Yes, I AM a mind-reader!
If it's not a lack of parenting then who is in charge in your home? Is there someone else there who is responsible for the decision making when it comes to who gets to carry around your household bills? Yeah, I think you're getting it now.
There came a point recently on a particular day wherein I had five children in care. Accompanying these five children were a combined total of 12 items; 3 blankets, 2 soothers, 1 sippy cup, 2 dolls, 1 Bell phone bill, 1 feather, 1 old cellphone, and a life-sized Winnie The Pooh. Are you kidding me? How the hell am I supposed to keep track of all of these items? Something snapped inside of me that morning. I couldn't take it one more minute. I could barely see the children for all the crap they had in their arms. I took each and every diaper bag, went over to each child and had THEM put their belongings in the bag. Was I popular? Um...No, but I'm getting pretty used to that role. Were there a lot of tears and some screaming? Yes, there certainly were. I put all of those now over-stuffed bags in the closet and corralled everyone into the playroom.
Something strange happened that day. The kids played, they were happy. There wasn't anyone sitting in the fuzzy chair all day clutching an object like life as we know it would end if it were to disappear. It was amazing. And another funny thing happened too. Not a single child asked for those items that day. And the next day every child came into my door still carrying their myriad of things. I simply held out their bags and the children put their items in the bag themselves. No tears, no tantrums. They knew better than to throw the same fit with me that they had done five minutes previously with their parents in order to get the phone bill to my home yet again. They knew that crying and screaming would result in the same end - the items would still be in the bag.
Now I still have a closet full of dolls, blankets, soothers, and enormous stuffed toys but they stay there all day. The parents know this and most of them are okay with it. There are a few who think I am a daycare Nazi. I'm okay with that too. And should they decide to bring up the subject I will be open to compromise. I will simply give them an option - "What would you prefer, that I keep track of and care for your phone bill or your child?". Either one is fine with me.
If you are new to this blog Click Here to meet the babysitter.
Friday, April 24, 2009
Sucky, Doe-Doe, Schoo-Sha, Soother
However you might want to refer to it the pacifier is both my personal saviour and peeve depending on the occasion. I think soothers are great for the young infant whose biological and developmental requirements demand that he have the ability to suckle whenever needed. In fact, my own son came from the nursery - soother in mouth. I can't say I was delighted by the sight of a foreign dependency protruding from his tiny mouth but it didn't take long into the first very tiring night to be so utterly thankful for a piece of plastic. Never before had I had such love and admiration for an inanimate object. At that point I wasn't sure what I loved more - my son or the soother. Soothers are great.....for a while.
I personally love it when a child shows up for a daycare interview without a soother. I always ask the parents about this when I notice its absence. I am delighted when I hear that their child never had a soother. I have to admit, I'm a bit envious too; perhaps even a small pang of guilt flickers through my body as I realize they must be a far more patient and tolerant person than I. How do those whose children have not had soothers get through those early days? I'm sure it must be their child. These are the parents who were blessed with the perfect, quiet, and ever-sleeping baby. Coincidentally, these are also the parents you see at the park smiley and happy two weeks after the arrival of their bundle of joy. Their sheer lack of exhaustion makes you want to just smack them. You think, "Hey, I MUST be doing something wrong". What you, and these parents don't realize, is that their child is an anomaly.
Unfortunately most parent I know, myself included, were not lucky enough to have a perfectly happy non-soother dependent child. So, we give in for a while because we simply can not walk around for the next two years with cotton balls in our ears. But, at some point, there comes a time when the soother is a habit rather than a need. We all know now that prolonged soother usage alters the position of the teeth. If it were for that fact alone I would forever banish them by the child's first birthday.
At some point after their first birthday children really need to be weaned from the soother. In my care, I start to notice two things with children over the age of one that become increasingly worse the longer the child uses the soother. They are:
1. That the child becomes frustrated when speaking to me as I can not understand what it is they are saying because the soother impedes their ability to speak.
2. That the child becomes more whiny and dependent. It's as if the soother constantly reminds the child that he needs to be soothed and therefore, must be in a situation to warrant that soothing.
The second point is where my pet-peeve comes into play. I simply can not stand whiners. If you are uncomfortable, need a hug or simply having a bad day then just tell me. Come to me for a hug or a talk but for goodness sake, don't take your two and a half year old body over to the fuzzy chair and sit there and mope all day while sucking on your soother. I fail to see how anyone can argue that this is better than the alternative - getting rid of the soother and encouraging age-appropriate interaction.
In my care once a child hits the eighteen month mark I take the soother from them at drop-off in the morning. The soother remains in their basket until nap time. Later, at the age of two the soother is no longer permitted in my home while your child is in my care. Now, I know for a fact that some of the parents of the children in care just can't enforce these policies at home. Most of the parents hide the fact that their three year old has a soother. Others still will openly admit to me that they just let me be the bad guy and take the soother each day. Gee, thanks for that. It's not bad enough that your child cries when you drop off and would clearly rather be with you than with the daycare lady but you allow for my relationship with your child to start out every day with me taking their valued possessions. Like, I said, thanks for that. But, I guess someone has to parent these children.
The most head shaking, eye-popping site I have ever witnessed as a provider concerned a five year old I had in my care some years ago. Since the age of eighteen months the child had not had, nor ever asked for her soother while in my care. I had made it very clear that she was a big girl who didn't need a soother to get through the day. I encouraged her to come to me for support instead of that dirty piece of plastic. One day while I was out I ran into this family while in the parking lot at a local grocery store. Imagine my astonishment and shock to see this five year old in her car seat with a damned soother in her mouth. Holy Hannah, I could not believe my eyes. Moments like this do offer some value however. Upon reflection a lot of things suddenly made sense. I now understand why she turned into a demon child as soon as her parent opened the door at pick up time. I also understand why the parents, when off for the day, always brought her to care. It was painfully obvious in that moment that a five year old ran their household. How sad it is that the parents are now citizens of a dictatorship run by a child. Sadder still is the future this child will face. My guess is she will be forced to 'suck it up' one day when she learns that the world does not rotate because she said so.
If you are new to this blog Click Here to meet the babysitter.
I personally love it when a child shows up for a daycare interview without a soother. I always ask the parents about this when I notice its absence. I am delighted when I hear that their child never had a soother. I have to admit, I'm a bit envious too; perhaps even a small pang of guilt flickers through my body as I realize they must be a far more patient and tolerant person than I. How do those whose children have not had soothers get through those early days? I'm sure it must be their child. These are the parents who were blessed with the perfect, quiet, and ever-sleeping baby. Coincidentally, these are also the parents you see at the park smiley and happy two weeks after the arrival of their bundle of joy. Their sheer lack of exhaustion makes you want to just smack them. You think, "Hey, I MUST be doing something wrong". What you, and these parents don't realize, is that their child is an anomaly.
Unfortunately most parent I know, myself included, were not lucky enough to have a perfectly happy non-soother dependent child. So, we give in for a while because we simply can not walk around for the next two years with cotton balls in our ears. But, at some point, there comes a time when the soother is a habit rather than a need. We all know now that prolonged soother usage alters the position of the teeth. If it were for that fact alone I would forever banish them by the child's first birthday.
At some point after their first birthday children really need to be weaned from the soother. In my care, I start to notice two things with children over the age of one that become increasingly worse the longer the child uses the soother. They are:
1. That the child becomes frustrated when speaking to me as I can not understand what it is they are saying because the soother impedes their ability to speak.
2. That the child becomes more whiny and dependent. It's as if the soother constantly reminds the child that he needs to be soothed and therefore, must be in a situation to warrant that soothing.
The second point is where my pet-peeve comes into play. I simply can not stand whiners. If you are uncomfortable, need a hug or simply having a bad day then just tell me. Come to me for a hug or a talk but for goodness sake, don't take your two and a half year old body over to the fuzzy chair and sit there and mope all day while sucking on your soother. I fail to see how anyone can argue that this is better than the alternative - getting rid of the soother and encouraging age-appropriate interaction.
In my care once a child hits the eighteen month mark I take the soother from them at drop-off in the morning. The soother remains in their basket until nap time. Later, at the age of two the soother is no longer permitted in my home while your child is in my care. Now, I know for a fact that some of the parents of the children in care just can't enforce these policies at home. Most of the parents hide the fact that their three year old has a soother. Others still will openly admit to me that they just let me be the bad guy and take the soother each day. Gee, thanks for that. It's not bad enough that your child cries when you drop off and would clearly rather be with you than with the daycare lady but you allow for my relationship with your child to start out every day with me taking their valued possessions. Like, I said, thanks for that. But, I guess someone has to parent these children.
The most head shaking, eye-popping site I have ever witnessed as a provider concerned a five year old I had in my care some years ago. Since the age of eighteen months the child had not had, nor ever asked for her soother while in my care. I had made it very clear that she was a big girl who didn't need a soother to get through the day. I encouraged her to come to me for support instead of that dirty piece of plastic. One day while I was out I ran into this family while in the parking lot at a local grocery store. Imagine my astonishment and shock to see this five year old in her car seat with a damned soother in her mouth. Holy Hannah, I could not believe my eyes. Moments like this do offer some value however. Upon reflection a lot of things suddenly made sense. I now understand why she turned into a demon child as soon as her parent opened the door at pick up time. I also understand why the parents, when off for the day, always brought her to care. It was painfully obvious in that moment that a five year old ran their household. How sad it is that the parents are now citizens of a dictatorship run by a child. Sadder still is the future this child will face. My guess is she will be forced to 'suck it up' one day when she learns that the world does not rotate because she said so.
If you are new to this blog Click Here to meet the babysitter.
Be One With The Onesie
What the hell are people thinking? I mean really, how is a potty-training child supposed to get through a onesie? Uh, hello, anyone in there???
All kids need to potty train at some point. Our job as parents and providers is to make the transition from diaper to potty as stress-free and as positive as possible. The learning curve in potty training is huge. We do not need to add obstacles. Why it is then that parents will often send a potty training child in a onesie? I realize that it's -30 degrees Celsius outside in the dead of winter but we DO have heat in my home. I hardly think their two year old is going to be a frozen kiddie pop without wearing a onesie.
Oh, and my other personal favourite is overalls. Whoever invented overalls did not have a child - I'm sure of it. And that Osh-Gosh guy needs to do some better market research. Why does he constantly come out with cutie-patootie overalls with two hundred leg buttons for children? Is he on some kind of crusade to officially piss-off or drive every parent to the brink of insanity? And, I understand that he wants to produce a quality item. But crimping the damned fastener on so tight that it doesn't fall off also means I have to pry it open with a fork while some two year old does the potty dance and eventually floods my kitchen floor. What, oh what, is he thinking?
I have sent out countless self-made pamphlets on potty training success measures for all parent to implement. After all, for many parents this in new territory. We can hardly fault them for being a little uneducated in all the tricks of the trade. Even then, some common sense and five minutes of reading the hand out I gave them could save us all alot of clean up, the self-esteem of the child as well as send a monetary messages to Mr. OshGosh.
There is an old provider's secret that is used when a potty training child shows up in overalls or onesies. The onsies are easy - we take them off and stuff them in your bag. The overalls? Why do you think I stock pile old pajama bottoms my kids have outgrown? Pajama bottoms are great for the potty training toddler. Loose fitting, somewhat absorbent and most importantly - easy to get down in a hurry.
So, if you are a parent reading this I have this advice. Onesies are for babies. If your child is off the bottle then they need to be off the onesie. And if you have a two year old still on the bottle then I'll write a whole other post for you on that topic. And next time you are shopping pass right by the sales rack of Osh Gosh overalls. Your provider will thank you for it and so will your child.
If you are new to this blog Click Here to meet the babysitter.
The Perks
Admittedly I tend to point out the less than glamorous aspects of our jobs. But every once in a while I'm in a good mood and want to be positive for a few minutes. Yes, miracles do happen. Even cynicism needs a rest!
There are few monetary perks for the home daycare provider. But, then again, money isn't everything. Having provided care for many years now I have to say, that all the negative aspects aside, I don't think I could be a viable employee in the "real world" of employment any more. In many ways this job has spoiled me to the point of no return.
My favourite perk is that of commuting to my coffee pot. I love the fact that I can get up, shower and then commute down the stairs to my job where a phantom employee seems, every morning, to have made coffee for me to start the day. And, oh, what sweet nectar of the Gods. Coffee manufactures know our address. Having a pot of coffee on all day long tends to wear the sucker out. But, hey, I have to get through the day somehow.
The coffee leads me to the next perk - my private washroom. Let's face it, all that coffee makes you pee. Oh, come on, we can say the word 'PEE' here. Gosh, I know I hear it multiple times a day in daycare. Lighten up a little would ya'! Anyway, yes, I love my private washroom. I don't like sharing snot so I sure as heck don't want to share the kids' poop or pee germs. I'm just guessing here, but I don't think any employer is going to give me my own potty.
Being the boss is also nice. Even if I did work in the real world the Employment Standards Act would prevent me having some of the luxuries that I am afforded in this job. According to the ESA I would never be able to terminate my co-workers (children) because they are not playing nicely. I would never, ever, be able to fire my supervisor (the parent) because they ticked me off or were generally inconsiderate. Sadly, I would have to put up with all their B.S., shut up and smile. And, if you haven't figured it out yet - I'm not very successful at holding my tongue.
Setting my own rates and hours is also nice. If I don't want to work on a specific day then I book it off. I don't ask permission or worry about my remaining vacation time. I decide how much money I want to make each day. I don't have to ask for an annual increase - I just include it in the new contract. And if my supervisor doesn't like the new rate? I guess they need to find a provider with a rate they do agree with. My days are nine hours long. I realize this is an hour longer than most people work but I also don't have to commute. I would gladly put in an extra hour in my own home than in the car any day.
Daycare costs have been non-existent in my family. Because I decided when I was still pregnant with my first that my own kids would never be in daycare they therefore, have never been. I needed an income and providing daycare seemed like the perfect choice for our family. Now my kids are home schooled so I still need to be home. I love that I can make a nice income and not have to pay out $350 a week in daycare costs. Besides, I would probably be a nightmare daycare parent. Somewhere out there would be another provider blogging about me this very instant.
Nap time is my favourite time of the day. I LOVE knowing that every day I get a period of complete silence. This is of course, unless I have a Screamer in the house. Ugh. But, as you all know, Screamers don't last long around here. Nap time allows me the freedom to go on-line and have another cup of coffee. I don't know of any other job where I would be able to go on-line at work without fearing I would be reprimanded.
My other favourite aspect of providing home daycare is the park and my backyard. I love the summer. I can not imagine spending every glorious summer day in an office, sitting behind a desk and missing those rays of sunshine. Life is too short, and in Canada, so is summer.
The last perk of home daycare is the housework. I can't say that I love it but realistically, if I had to work outside the home I would probably still be responsible for all the laundry and most of the general cleaning. How fortunate I am to be able to do some of these things throughout the day instead of at the end of a long day of work. My time off is my time OFF.
Home daycare is tough on the best of days. It's exhausting. There are so many jobs to shuffle and demands to address. The parents can be a freaking nightmare and the kids can certainly have their moments. But, if I was really honest I would also realize that the workplace elsewhere would be just as bad. And, if I was there instead of here, I would miss out on so much. I would be watching the evolution of Power Point presentations instead of the growth of my children. I would be sharing coffee with co-workers instead of chocolate milk with my kids. I would be watching corporate struggles instead of kids frolicking in the yard.
Ah....life ain't so bad after all!
If you are new to this blog Click Here to meet the babysitter.
There are few monetary perks for the home daycare provider. But, then again, money isn't everything. Having provided care for many years now I have to say, that all the negative aspects aside, I don't think I could be a viable employee in the "real world" of employment any more. In many ways this job has spoiled me to the point of no return.
My favourite perk is that of commuting to my coffee pot. I love the fact that I can get up, shower and then commute down the stairs to my job where a phantom employee seems, every morning, to have made coffee for me to start the day. And, oh, what sweet nectar of the Gods. Coffee manufactures know our address. Having a pot of coffee on all day long tends to wear the sucker out. But, hey, I have to get through the day somehow.
The coffee leads me to the next perk - my private washroom. Let's face it, all that coffee makes you pee. Oh, come on, we can say the word 'PEE' here. Gosh, I know I hear it multiple times a day in daycare. Lighten up a little would ya'! Anyway, yes, I love my private washroom. I don't like sharing snot so I sure as heck don't want to share the kids' poop or pee germs. I'm just guessing here, but I don't think any employer is going to give me my own potty.
Being the boss is also nice. Even if I did work in the real world the Employment Standards Act would prevent me having some of the luxuries that I am afforded in this job. According to the ESA I would never be able to terminate my co-workers (children) because they are not playing nicely. I would never, ever, be able to fire my supervisor (the parent) because they ticked me off or were generally inconsiderate. Sadly, I would have to put up with all their B.S., shut up and smile. And, if you haven't figured it out yet - I'm not very successful at holding my tongue.
Setting my own rates and hours is also nice. If I don't want to work on a specific day then I book it off. I don't ask permission or worry about my remaining vacation time. I decide how much money I want to make each day. I don't have to ask for an annual increase - I just include it in the new contract. And if my supervisor doesn't like the new rate? I guess they need to find a provider with a rate they do agree with. My days are nine hours long. I realize this is an hour longer than most people work but I also don't have to commute. I would gladly put in an extra hour in my own home than in the car any day.
Daycare costs have been non-existent in my family. Because I decided when I was still pregnant with my first that my own kids would never be in daycare they therefore, have never been. I needed an income and providing daycare seemed like the perfect choice for our family. Now my kids are home schooled so I still need to be home. I love that I can make a nice income and not have to pay out $350 a week in daycare costs. Besides, I would probably be a nightmare daycare parent. Somewhere out there would be another provider blogging about me this very instant.
Nap time is my favourite time of the day. I LOVE knowing that every day I get a period of complete silence. This is of course, unless I have a Screamer in the house. Ugh. But, as you all know, Screamers don't last long around here. Nap time allows me the freedom to go on-line and have another cup of coffee. I don't know of any other job where I would be able to go on-line at work without fearing I would be reprimanded.
My other favourite aspect of providing home daycare is the park and my backyard. I love the summer. I can not imagine spending every glorious summer day in an office, sitting behind a desk and missing those rays of sunshine. Life is too short, and in Canada, so is summer.
The last perk of home daycare is the housework. I can't say that I love it but realistically, if I had to work outside the home I would probably still be responsible for all the laundry and most of the general cleaning. How fortunate I am to be able to do some of these things throughout the day instead of at the end of a long day of work. My time off is my time OFF.
Home daycare is tough on the best of days. It's exhausting. There are so many jobs to shuffle and demands to address. The parents can be a freaking nightmare and the kids can certainly have their moments. But, if I was really honest I would also realize that the workplace elsewhere would be just as bad. And, if I was there instead of here, I would miss out on so much. I would be watching the evolution of Power Point presentations instead of the growth of my children. I would be sharing coffee with co-workers instead of chocolate milk with my kids. I would be watching corporate struggles instead of kids frolicking in the yard.
Ah....life ain't so bad after all!
If you are new to this blog Click Here to meet the babysitter.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Double-Barrels Are Not Just For Shotguns
It seems the festivities have closed down for the season. If you missed Snot-Fest 2008/2009 then consider yourself lucky. I know that around here Snot-Fest was quite a blast. It was five long months of snot, runny eyes, coughing and sneezing. On a positive note I did do my part in helping the economy by boosting stock in Kleenex and Puffs.
I do have to wonder though why kids are so damned snotty from November to April every year. I mean, hey, I get colds too but you don't see me walking around with yellow crap dripping from my nose and into my mouth. And for that matter, my own kids don't walk around like this either. Why? Because when they have double-barrelled snot they STAY HOME. Heck, with the amounts of snot some of these kids produce, combined with the upward tongue dip into their snot these kids could be self-sufficient systems. We wouldn't need to do a thing. No feeding, no cleaning......
I fail to see why, in any given winter month a parent will drop off their child and inform me that they will not be going into work that day because they have a cold. But, that parent, once they have graciously passed on the same cold to their child, will skip off to the Starbucks drive through after leaving their child with me for the day. Are you confused, because I know I am. How is it that the parent should stay home with a cold but it's okay for the child to go to "work" all day and function. So, here we are, once again, with a double-barrelled snot-ridden child hanging out with all the other children. It doesn't take a degree in immunology to figure out that every other child will contract those boogers within a few days. Before you know it, everybody has a cold. This of course, leads to the few parents who "get it" to stay home from work with their child. All this because one parent did not have the common consideration for their own child, the other children in care, the parents of the other children or me and my family to keep their child home.
So, when is it appropriate for a child to attend daycare with a cold? Well, I will be honest here and give the parents some slack. If every provider prohibited all boogers all the time there wouldn't be a single child attending daycare in North America from November to April. Now, I don't know about you but I forecast that might cause a problem with collection of fees. And darn it, I need those fees!
I allow children into care with a cold if; 1. their snot is clear and, 2. if their snot is not a constant dripping faucet. If either of these parameters are not met then the child must stay home. I also don't mind it if a child attends daycare with a drippy nose as long as they have been medicated to turn the faucet off. Yes, yes, I understand that not all parents want to medicate their kids - I'm one of them. But, it's a choice. The parent can choose to medicate the child or stay home with them. I guess it all comes down to priorities and following the guidelines of the contract. And we all know that the contract is not negotiable.
And my favourite winter moments are those when the parents arrive at the door with a child whose eyes are practically glued shut they are backed up with so much snot. You look at the child, shake your head and utter something under your breath - that you half wish they had heard - and in your empathetic voice say, "Oh, poor thing doesn't look like she feels well today". And then you inform the parents the child can not stay only to be told that they have no more sick days left. "Oh, that's really too bad", you say, "Perhaps next year you might want to take a few less personal shopping days".
Ah...in a perfect world we would say those things. But for now I think I'll just amend my contract to include my own paid sick days.
If you are new to this blog Click Here to meet the babysitter.
Assertiveness 101
Today, while on a message board I moderate, I came across a post wherein the provider was referring to the need to be assertive in the business of home daycare. I couldn't agree more. The reasons women decide to become home daycare providers are varied. Some women can not stand the thought of leaving their own children in the care of strangers. Other women need an income and would not earn enough if they had to pay daycare expenses themselves. Still others made the decision early that they wanted to become certified in Early Childhood Education and work with children until retirement. Whatever the reason there is one common thread - daycare providers are nurtures and care takers. By definition, if you are a care taker then the needs of those you care for nearly always come before those of your own. Add to this scenario those in your care are innocent children and the lines between business and sentiment and emotion become blurred.
Owning and operating any business is hard work. There are many roles to play and never enough time and money to go around. However, home daycare providers have a far more difficult task in customer satisfaction. Because parents are our clients, and their children are the recipients of our care, it is impossible for a parent to delineate business and care. The parents, assume, because the child is their most valuable asset, that the child is the number one priority and asset of the provider as well. This could not be further from the truth. Now, I can just imagine the eye-popping that just occurred if any parent read the previous sentence. No, your child is not our number one priority. Yes, we genuinely care for your child. Some of us might even love your child. But, just like you, our own children and our families are our number one priority. I scarcely think anyone could judge us for this reality. It is human nature to be most dedicated to those we love most.
It is the mistaken belief and assumption that our jobs come first that cause many of the problems that daycare providers face on a daily basis. We all want what is best for our children but parents rarely understand that daycare providers are just people. We, like them, are not dedicated to our jobs on a 24/7 basis. We work, we get paid, and we like our down time as well. We do not live to work. We work to live.
One of the most common problems faced by daycare providers are those of payment, punctuality, illness, and common courtesy. All of these problems can be easily eliminated if the provider brings assertiveness into play. I have always claimed that providers who are taken advantage of allow it to happen. No one can take advantage of another unless you allow them to do so.
We all have different innate personalities. Some of us are born with a predisposition for assertiveness and others are not. However, assertiveness can be learned through experience. Sometimes I think you have to be taken advantage of so many times that you get so pissed off that you put your foot down are refuse to be the victim any longer. It is in these times that you can use the moment as an opportunity for growth.
There are many situations that we can all reflect on and imagine how, if we worked for an employer in any work place, the outcome would have been different. In any other job we would never accept the inconsiderate, rude and thoughtless actions of parents in those moments of disagreement. We simply would not tolerate being treated with disregard. We wouldn't tolerate being paid late, working overtime without pay, being the recipient of belligerence, or forced to clean up the vomit of a co-worker. But somehow, providers don't see themselves as worthy enough to demand respect. Why should it be any different? Why do we allow this to happen?
Below are a few scenarios when assertiveness must be used:
Late Payment - You work hard and deserve to be paid on time. There should be NO reason why a parent is late with payment. It is my policy that all parents pay on Monday for that week of care. If a parent arrives on Monday morning without payment I send them away with the child to go get payment and return. NO PAY - NO STAY.
Late Pick-Up - Tardiness reeks of inconsideration. It demonstrates to me that you think your time is more important than mine. I have operating hours and I don't expect to work past closing time. When a parent arrives late I am not friendly. I remind them that they are late and late fees will apply. I expect late fees to accompany the child at drop-off the next day. And what happens if they arrive the next morning without the late fees? You guessed it - turn them away to go get it. If a parent is consistently late termination will occur.
Early Arrivals - Don't open your door until the agreed upon opening time.
Illness - If a child arrives at your daycare in the morning and looks ill turn them away on the spot. If a child becomes ill while in care the parents are to come immediately to pick up the sick child. If parents do not come within a reasonable amount of time or refuse to pick up their sick child they will be terminated. If a parent knowingly sends a sick child to care they are terminated immediately without notice and no reimbursement of fees already paid.
Stat/Vacation Pay - Every once in a while a parent will feign ignorance that they are responsible to pay for the statutory days listed in your contract. They will also 'misunderstand' that they need to pay for any days that their child is not in care because they are on vacation. Whip out the contract, highlight the section and show them. Also, when a parent is going on vacation they should pay for the week they will be away with the previous week's fees.
General Rudeness - Any parent who is belligerent, rude, inconsiderate on a daily basis will find themselves searching for a new daycare provider. Tolerating someone treating you like garbage is not acceptable. If I wanted to be belittled on a daily basis I would go back to high school.
Napping - Children who will not nap or lay down for a period of rest in my care are terminated - Period.
Nanny Syndrome - Any parent who has unrealistic expectation of care are terminated. I will not work with micro-managing parents. If I wanted a boss I would go work at Wal-mart.
It is my experience that those providers who have been in business the longest are also those who are the most assertive. These are the providers who consider themselves business women first and foremost. They wear their business hat each and every moment of the business day. So, next time you find yourself in a position wherein a parent is taking advantage put on your business hat and be assertive. And, if you feel yourself caving just email me for support. Judytrickett@yahoo.ca
Owning and operating any business is hard work. There are many roles to play and never enough time and money to go around. However, home daycare providers have a far more difficult task in customer satisfaction. Because parents are our clients, and their children are the recipients of our care, it is impossible for a parent to delineate business and care. The parents, assume, because the child is their most valuable asset, that the child is the number one priority and asset of the provider as well. This could not be further from the truth. Now, I can just imagine the eye-popping that just occurred if any parent read the previous sentence. No, your child is not our number one priority. Yes, we genuinely care for your child. Some of us might even love your child. But, just like you, our own children and our families are our number one priority. I scarcely think anyone could judge us for this reality. It is human nature to be most dedicated to those we love most.
It is the mistaken belief and assumption that our jobs come first that cause many of the problems that daycare providers face on a daily basis. We all want what is best for our children but parents rarely understand that daycare providers are just people. We, like them, are not dedicated to our jobs on a 24/7 basis. We work, we get paid, and we like our down time as well. We do not live to work. We work to live.
One of the most common problems faced by daycare providers are those of payment, punctuality, illness, and common courtesy. All of these problems can be easily eliminated if the provider brings assertiveness into play. I have always claimed that providers who are taken advantage of allow it to happen. No one can take advantage of another unless you allow them to do so.
We all have different innate personalities. Some of us are born with a predisposition for assertiveness and others are not. However, assertiveness can be learned through experience. Sometimes I think you have to be taken advantage of so many times that you get so pissed off that you put your foot down are refuse to be the victim any longer. It is in these times that you can use the moment as an opportunity for growth.
There are many situations that we can all reflect on and imagine how, if we worked for an employer in any work place, the outcome would have been different. In any other job we would never accept the inconsiderate, rude and thoughtless actions of parents in those moments of disagreement. We simply would not tolerate being treated with disregard. We wouldn't tolerate being paid late, working overtime without pay, being the recipient of belligerence, or forced to clean up the vomit of a co-worker. But somehow, providers don't see themselves as worthy enough to demand respect. Why should it be any different? Why do we allow this to happen?
Below are a few scenarios when assertiveness must be used:
Late Payment - You work hard and deserve to be paid on time. There should be NO reason why a parent is late with payment. It is my policy that all parents pay on Monday for that week of care. If a parent arrives on Monday morning without payment I send them away with the child to go get payment and return. NO PAY - NO STAY.
Late Pick-Up - Tardiness reeks of inconsideration. It demonstrates to me that you think your time is more important than mine. I have operating hours and I don't expect to work past closing time. When a parent arrives late I am not friendly. I remind them that they are late and late fees will apply. I expect late fees to accompany the child at drop-off the next day. And what happens if they arrive the next morning without the late fees? You guessed it - turn them away to go get it. If a parent is consistently late termination will occur.
Early Arrivals - Don't open your door until the agreed upon opening time.
Illness - If a child arrives at your daycare in the morning and looks ill turn them away on the spot. If a child becomes ill while in care the parents are to come immediately to pick up the sick child. If parents do not come within a reasonable amount of time or refuse to pick up their sick child they will be terminated. If a parent knowingly sends a sick child to care they are terminated immediately without notice and no reimbursement of fees already paid.
Stat/Vacation Pay - Every once in a while a parent will feign ignorance that they are responsible to pay for the statutory days listed in your contract. They will also 'misunderstand' that they need to pay for any days that their child is not in care because they are on vacation. Whip out the contract, highlight the section and show them. Also, when a parent is going on vacation they should pay for the week they will be away with the previous week's fees.
General Rudeness - Any parent who is belligerent, rude, inconsiderate on a daily basis will find themselves searching for a new daycare provider. Tolerating someone treating you like garbage is not acceptable. If I wanted to be belittled on a daily basis I would go back to high school.
Napping - Children who will not nap or lay down for a period of rest in my care are terminated - Period.
Nanny Syndrome - Any parent who has unrealistic expectation of care are terminated. I will not work with micro-managing parents. If I wanted a boss I would go work at Wal-mart.
It is my experience that those providers who have been in business the longest are also those who are the most assertive. These are the providers who consider themselves business women first and foremost. They wear their business hat each and every moment of the business day. So, next time you find yourself in a position wherein a parent is taking advantage put on your business hat and be assertive. And, if you feel yourself caving just email me for support. Judytrickett@yahoo.ca
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
The Princess And The Pea
Once upon a time there were two little girls. This set of twins were the cutest little girls you ever set your eyes on but to their parents it was obvious that one was viewed as the princess and the other as the pea. Just like the popular fable the pea was just a irritant that was felt from under a pile of mattresses. The princess, when bothered by the pea, simply screamed and the pea was removed. With the irritant now absent the Princess went on with a smile on her face.
This isn't really a fairy tale but a real-life scenario concerning two children in my care. These two little girls have very different personalities. One child is mild-tempered, easy going and a wonderful little person; we''ll refer to her as the Pea. The other child is uber-sensitive, high-maintenance, attention seeking and simply miserable, and thus, will be referred to as the Princess.
Although the innate attributes of their personalities are not of their choosing the parents have played a role in shaping who these children have become. The parents openly refer to the Princess as "The Princess". And, in doing so, feed into her whiny, manipulative behaviour. I have actually witnessed this child scream for a toy that the Pea is holding only to have the parents take the toy from the Pea and give it to the Princess to stop the crying. What on earth are these parents thinking? Do they not see the problem here? If there is one way to propagate animosity between siblings this would be the perfect example. Are parents that stupid to not understand the impact they will have on the relationship of their children in the future? How is it that a thirty-something adult can be schmoozled by someone who weighs less than a beagle? The answer is simple. Here we go again.......parenting.
I will admit it is much easier in the moment to just give in to a child. But, being someone with two brain cells and an ounce of insight I realize that short time pain for long time gain is always the best approach to raising children. I understand that giving a crying child a Hot Wheels car today will lead to a savings account for the Porsche I will need later to appease that same child. Is this really such a hard concept? Do I have some super-human clairvoyance that enables me to see what these parents are so oblivious to?
My sister says regularly to her teenage daughter, "I love you enough to have you hate me". I think that's a great quote. We are not here to be our child's friend. We are here to be their guide to the world. In the real world we can not simply cry and get our way. How is the Princess supposed to transition to the real world when her present environment has prepared her to scream for what she wants? These parents need to realize that one day the world is going to smack this child in the face. And when she falls - which is guaranteed to happen - it will be the parent's fault.
I feel sorry for the Pea. She lives in the world where not only is she constantly compared to her sister but made to feel second within her own family. How can the Pea possibly build positive self-esteem when her sister constantly steals her thunder? And, how truly sad that the possibility for a wonderful sisterly relationship will ultimately be lost. The saddest part of all is that it doesn't have to be this way. If we could, as a society, cease to be afraid of our own children the world would be a better place. I fear for the future.
If you are new to this blog Click Here to meet the babysitter.
This isn't really a fairy tale but a real-life scenario concerning two children in my care. These two little girls have very different personalities. One child is mild-tempered, easy going and a wonderful little person; we''ll refer to her as the Pea. The other child is uber-sensitive, high-maintenance, attention seeking and simply miserable, and thus, will be referred to as the Princess.
Although the innate attributes of their personalities are not of their choosing the parents have played a role in shaping who these children have become. The parents openly refer to the Princess as "The Princess". And, in doing so, feed into her whiny, manipulative behaviour. I have actually witnessed this child scream for a toy that the Pea is holding only to have the parents take the toy from the Pea and give it to the Princess to stop the crying. What on earth are these parents thinking? Do they not see the problem here? If there is one way to propagate animosity between siblings this would be the perfect example. Are parents that stupid to not understand the impact they will have on the relationship of their children in the future? How is it that a thirty-something adult can be schmoozled by someone who weighs less than a beagle? The answer is simple. Here we go again.......parenting.
I will admit it is much easier in the moment to just give in to a child. But, being someone with two brain cells and an ounce of insight I realize that short time pain for long time gain is always the best approach to raising children. I understand that giving a crying child a Hot Wheels car today will lead to a savings account for the Porsche I will need later to appease that same child. Is this really such a hard concept? Do I have some super-human clairvoyance that enables me to see what these parents are so oblivious to?
My sister says regularly to her teenage daughter, "I love you enough to have you hate me". I think that's a great quote. We are not here to be our child's friend. We are here to be their guide to the world. In the real world we can not simply cry and get our way. How is the Princess supposed to transition to the real world when her present environment has prepared her to scream for what she wants? These parents need to realize that one day the world is going to smack this child in the face. And when she falls - which is guaranteed to happen - it will be the parent's fault.
I feel sorry for the Pea. She lives in the world where not only is she constantly compared to her sister but made to feel second within her own family. How can the Pea possibly build positive self-esteem when her sister constantly steals her thunder? And, how truly sad that the possibility for a wonderful sisterly relationship will ultimately be lost. The saddest part of all is that it doesn't have to be this way. If we could, as a society, cease to be afraid of our own children the world would be a better place. I fear for the future.
If you are new to this blog Click Here to meet the babysitter.
I Work For Free. I Love My Job!
"Oh, you forgot your payment again? ", I respond, "Don't worry I don't need the money anyway".
Okay, NOT the best way to tackle a late payment. But, we have all been here. It's pay day and there is one parent who decided that today, their time was too important to find their cheque book or drive through the ATM on the way to drop-off their child. Besides, you couldn't possibly need the money - right?
Why is it that parents consistently perceive daycare providers as not working for an income? Do they really think we spend ten hours a day wiping poop and snot and listening to the whining and crying because we don't need/want to be paid? And, hey, even if you recently won the lottery and decided to keep working my guess is you still want to be fairly compensated for the work you do.
Daycare providers work to pay the bills. When a parent "forgets" to pay (oh, and by the way, they don't really forget. They're just too self-absorbed or don't consider you worthy enough to remember) I don't have the luxury of calling the bank and asking them to "forget" my mortgage payment. The grocery store won't allow me to take my goods and pay next time I drop in. Why should it be any different for daycare providers? How many parents, on any given pay day, would find it acceptable if their employer 'forgot' to pay them and instead said, "Oh, I forgot my cheque book. Would it be okay if you picked up your pay cheque when you come in to work on Monday?". Yeah, I'm thinking you are laughing your butt off at that one!
There are a lot of things I and my fellow daycare providers can overlook. I can tolerate your forgetting your child's boots in the winter, or their sun hat in the summer or even the diapers you needed to supply. But forgetting to pay me just reeks of disrespect and the view that my worth as a caregiver is not valuable enough for you to remember to pay for services rendered. How is it that you justify this dismissal as a positive measure in building a relationship with the person who cares for your child forty-plus hours each week? Sorry, perhaps I'm daft but I don't understand.
A fellow provider recently came up with a brilliant and successful tactic to combat this occurrence should it ever happen to you. Whenever a parent utters those words, "I forgot your payment this week", the provider says not a thing, but stares at the parent and allows for a period of awkward silence. The parents, in turn, aware of their indiscretion, always come back with a response that they will return immediately with payment. What a wonderful, non-confrontational approach to receiving what you have earned and are entitled to.
Why is it that I read time and time again of daycare providers having to remind parents to pay on time? What is wrong with the world? Why are we, in the interview, grilled and questioned because parents claim to want only the best care for their child. It is astonishing to me how quickly we fall to the end of the priority list once the child is in care. Oh, but wait.....I'm just the babysitter.
Okay, NOT the best way to tackle a late payment. But, we have all been here. It's pay day and there is one parent who decided that today, their time was too important to find their cheque book or drive through the ATM on the way to drop-off their child. Besides, you couldn't possibly need the money - right?
Why is it that parents consistently perceive daycare providers as not working for an income? Do they really think we spend ten hours a day wiping poop and snot and listening to the whining and crying because we don't need/want to be paid? And, hey, even if you recently won the lottery and decided to keep working my guess is you still want to be fairly compensated for the work you do.
Daycare providers work to pay the bills. When a parent "forgets" to pay (oh, and by the way, they don't really forget. They're just too self-absorbed or don't consider you worthy enough to remember) I don't have the luxury of calling the bank and asking them to "forget" my mortgage payment. The grocery store won't allow me to take my goods and pay next time I drop in. Why should it be any different for daycare providers? How many parents, on any given pay day, would find it acceptable if their employer 'forgot' to pay them and instead said, "Oh, I forgot my cheque book. Would it be okay if you picked up your pay cheque when you come in to work on Monday?". Yeah, I'm thinking you are laughing your butt off at that one!
There are a lot of things I and my fellow daycare providers can overlook. I can tolerate your forgetting your child's boots in the winter, or their sun hat in the summer or even the diapers you needed to supply. But forgetting to pay me just reeks of disrespect and the view that my worth as a caregiver is not valuable enough for you to remember to pay for services rendered. How is it that you justify this dismissal as a positive measure in building a relationship with the person who cares for your child forty-plus hours each week? Sorry, perhaps I'm daft but I don't understand.
A fellow provider recently came up with a brilliant and successful tactic to combat this occurrence should it ever happen to you. Whenever a parent utters those words, "I forgot your payment this week", the provider says not a thing, but stares at the parent and allows for a period of awkward silence. The parents, in turn, aware of their indiscretion, always come back with a response that they will return immediately with payment. What a wonderful, non-confrontational approach to receiving what you have earned and are entitled to.
Why is it that I read time and time again of daycare providers having to remind parents to pay on time? What is wrong with the world? Why are we, in the interview, grilled and questioned because parents claim to want only the best care for their child. It is astonishing to me how quickly we fall to the end of the priority list once the child is in care. Oh, but wait.....I'm just the babysitter.
If you are new to this blog Click Here to meet the babysitter.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
My Child Doesn't Need A Nap
How many times have you heard those words come out of a parent's mouth? My guess would be far more times than you can count. Or perhaps you are the parent who has uttered those exact words. Sadly many children are sleep deprived and the parent simply do not recognize a problem.
It is has been proven that sleep deprived children suffer from moodiness, hyperactivity, tantrums and explosive behaviour. From an outsider's point of view we would label a sleep deprived child as having behavioural problems. And, the outsider would be correct - the child does behave poorly because he is so tired that he can no longer control his emotions. Something strange happens to the brain of a child who is sleep deprived. Instead of the brain activity slowing down, as common sense would dictate, the brain actually speeds up activity. This in turn is a lose-lose situation for the child. The child can not calm their heads to allow sleep and the parents therefore assume this to mean the child does not need sleep - nothing could be further from the truth.
Why are so many children losing their naps at every increasing earlier ages? The simple fact is that in our society we have become so busy that many parents will not find time in their schedule to allow for a child to nap. Many parents are so caught up in their need to run errands, visit friends or entertain their children that there is simply no time left in the day for a period of rest. These same parents are generally those who complain that they have consistent bed-time battles in the evening as well. Not surprisingly the child is over-tired and thus over-stimulated at bed time. Combine the child's inability to settle with a lack of parenting and the ability to outwit a manipulative child and the child, yet again, loses out on valuable sleep time. This cycle continues and the child ultimately loses in the end.
It always amazes me that daycare providers are able to take children, whose parents claim do not nap, and manage to get them to sleep two hours a day while in care. Perhaps the word "amaze" is not really the best choice. I am, after all, not really "amazed". I know the secret to getting a child to nap. Would you like me to share it with you? Hold on to your seats because it's a BIG secret.........
I don't allow them to manipulate me. I don't give them a choice. In short, I "parent" the child and the child realizes that naps are not negotiable.
Kids figure things out pretty quickly. If there is one segment of the population who opportunistic it is children. Kids know who they can manipulate and who they can not. And, plain and simple - if your child is not napping or sleeping, and you want them to, then you are being manipulated. Yes, yes, I know, that's not what you think - right? Well, if they are not manipulating you then it must be your general lack of parenting at a time that most requires you to be the adult. Whoa! Now you're upset with me, aren't you? How dare I accuse you of not parenting. The fact is, whenever a child does not comply with your well-intentioned wishes there is a problem with parenting.
Let's get back to napping and daycare, shall we? There have been many occasions wherein I have started a child into care and on day number one I quickly realize that this child is not accustomed to napping. The child will cry and fuss at nap time. I ignore this demonstration of control. It doesn't take long - perhaps a few days - for the child to be sleeping blissfully at nap time while in my care. So, why is it that the same child will not sleep at home? Ah....there's that word again - parenting.
Most daycare providers demand that every child lay down for a period of rest each and every day. This rest period is intended to allow the child to sleep and the provider some time to regroup and recharge. Daycare providers often work ten hours a day without a break. We do not get an hour lunch break or two fifteen minute breaks throughout the day. Nap time is our only time to sit down, eat our own lunch and breathe. It is unreasonable for any parent to expect us to keep their child up at nap time and deprive us of the precious little time we get as a break.
A wise and seasoned daycare provider that I know has a very pertinent line that she uses when a parent asks that their child no longer nap while in her care. I will share that line with you now.
"If your child has outgrown their nap they have outgrown my daycare".
Well said. So, before you ask your daycare provider to cut out your child's nap you might want to rethink if that is best for your child. First, is it really best for your child to deny them precious sleep? And second, is it really fair to your child to have them lose their daycare provider?
Some food for thought.
It is has been proven that sleep deprived children suffer from moodiness, hyperactivity, tantrums and explosive behaviour. From an outsider's point of view we would label a sleep deprived child as having behavioural problems. And, the outsider would be correct - the child does behave poorly because he is so tired that he can no longer control his emotions. Something strange happens to the brain of a child who is sleep deprived. Instead of the brain activity slowing down, as common sense would dictate, the brain actually speeds up activity. This in turn is a lose-lose situation for the child. The child can not calm their heads to allow sleep and the parents therefore assume this to mean the child does not need sleep - nothing could be further from the truth.
Why are so many children losing their naps at every increasing earlier ages? The simple fact is that in our society we have become so busy that many parents will not find time in their schedule to allow for a child to nap. Many parents are so caught up in their need to run errands, visit friends or entertain their children that there is simply no time left in the day for a period of rest. These same parents are generally those who complain that they have consistent bed-time battles in the evening as well. Not surprisingly the child is over-tired and thus over-stimulated at bed time. Combine the child's inability to settle with a lack of parenting and the ability to outwit a manipulative child and the child, yet again, loses out on valuable sleep time. This cycle continues and the child ultimately loses in the end.
It always amazes me that daycare providers are able to take children, whose parents claim do not nap, and manage to get them to sleep two hours a day while in care. Perhaps the word "amaze" is not really the best choice. I am, after all, not really "amazed". I know the secret to getting a child to nap. Would you like me to share it with you? Hold on to your seats because it's a BIG secret.........
I don't allow them to manipulate me. I don't give them a choice. In short, I "parent" the child and the child realizes that naps are not negotiable.
Kids figure things out pretty quickly. If there is one segment of the population who opportunistic it is children. Kids know who they can manipulate and who they can not. And, plain and simple - if your child is not napping or sleeping, and you want them to, then you are being manipulated. Yes, yes, I know, that's not what you think - right? Well, if they are not manipulating you then it must be your general lack of parenting at a time that most requires you to be the adult. Whoa! Now you're upset with me, aren't you? How dare I accuse you of not parenting. The fact is, whenever a child does not comply with your well-intentioned wishes there is a problem with parenting.
Let's get back to napping and daycare, shall we? There have been many occasions wherein I have started a child into care and on day number one I quickly realize that this child is not accustomed to napping. The child will cry and fuss at nap time. I ignore this demonstration of control. It doesn't take long - perhaps a few days - for the child to be sleeping blissfully at nap time while in my care. So, why is it that the same child will not sleep at home? Ah....there's that word again - parenting.
Most daycare providers demand that every child lay down for a period of rest each and every day. This rest period is intended to allow the child to sleep and the provider some time to regroup and recharge. Daycare providers often work ten hours a day without a break. We do not get an hour lunch break or two fifteen minute breaks throughout the day. Nap time is our only time to sit down, eat our own lunch and breathe. It is unreasonable for any parent to expect us to keep their child up at nap time and deprive us of the precious little time we get as a break.
A wise and seasoned daycare provider that I know has a very pertinent line that she uses when a parent asks that their child no longer nap while in her care. I will share that line with you now.
"If your child has outgrown their nap they have outgrown my daycare".
Well said. So, before you ask your daycare provider to cut out your child's nap you might want to rethink if that is best for your child. First, is it really best for your child to deny them precious sleep? And second, is it really fair to your child to have them lose their daycare provider?
Some food for thought.
Discount Care Is Oh, So Fun. Discount Care For Everyone.
I would like someone to answer a question for me; how is it that a daycare provider can offer care for $20 a day and earn a living? I honestly have to ask this question as I don't have the answer. In my area the market rate for home daycare is between $32 and $35 a day. However, every once in a while I notice ads in local media for care that is a mere $20 per day.
Being a daycare provider myself I understand the cost of doing business. And, as a provider at the high end of the rate schedule, I also know how much money I net in income after I pay my expenses to provide care. I know that after all is said and done my daily rate of $35 that is charged to the parents realistically only amounts to an average of $22 a day per child. This latter amount takes into consideration the wear and tear on my home, food, craft supplies, re-stocking broken and worn toys, taxes paid to the government, daycare insurance, the additional hydro and gas charges I incur etc. If I worked this rate out hourly it would be:
$22 per day X 5 children in care = $110 per day in income
$110 per day / 9 hours a day of work = $12.22 per hour
Now, I don't know about any other providers or parents out there but $12 an hour doesn't seem like a lot of money considering that in my area the minimum wage is $10 an hour. My job includes a lot more responsibility, no job stability, no pension plan, no health benefits, no paid vacation, having to deal directly with customers, not to mention snot, poop and puke. I hardly think I get paid enough to deal with the daily obligations associated with the operation of a home daycare.
If I take the $20 provider's cheaper rates and used the same formula as above we would see that the provider is barely earning $4 per hour:
$20 per day - $13 per day in operation costs = $7 per day/child
$7 per day X 5 children in care = $35 per day in income
$35 per day / 9 hours a day of work = $3.88 per hour
Admittedly, I am not the smartest person I know but even I can figure out that $3.88 an hour is scarcely a reason to get out of bed in the morning.
So, what gives? Where is the secret to success in $20 per day care? How do these women manage to feed their family, pay the mortgage and supply all of the things they claim to provide when singing their accolades in the Kijiji ads?
I suspect these providers cut corners on the most basic care necessities. My guess is that these children do not eat well and subside on a diet of K-D and wieners, store-brand cookies and water. These children can not possibly be doing crafts or being introduced to developmentally appropriate toys. What about trips to the park? Can a provider earning $3.88 an hour realistically afford a triple stroller to accommodate small children en route to the park? My initial perception is a resounding NO.
Sadly, every now and again you will hear of a provider in your area losing a child in care to one of these cheap providers. Unfortunately the parents either can not do basic math or simply do not care. Personally, I believe that money should never come into play with respect to the care and safety of your child. I only wish these parents who are patronizing these cheap providers knew and understood the operational side of daycare. Sadly, it is the children that lose in the end.
How do I combat this problem? When I see and ad for care for $20 a day I give that provider a call. I introduce myself and boldly tell her she is charging too little, that she is worth more and, that parents will pay more if you are worth it. I share with these providers that daycare is hard work and we all deserve to be paid accordingly. Does it work? In some cases, yes it does. But then again, there is still a $20 per day provider around the corner from me. And every time I walk by her home on the way to the park and I see the kids peeking from the fence (where they always are) with snot streaming down their dirty faces my heart sinks a bit.
If you are new to this blog Click Here to meet the babysitter.
Being a daycare provider myself I understand the cost of doing business. And, as a provider at the high end of the rate schedule, I also know how much money I net in income after I pay my expenses to provide care. I know that after all is said and done my daily rate of $35 that is charged to the parents realistically only amounts to an average of $22 a day per child. This latter amount takes into consideration the wear and tear on my home, food, craft supplies, re-stocking broken and worn toys, taxes paid to the government, daycare insurance, the additional hydro and gas charges I incur etc. If I worked this rate out hourly it would be:
$22 per day X 5 children in care = $110 per day in income
$110 per day / 9 hours a day of work = $12.22 per hour
Now, I don't know about any other providers or parents out there but $12 an hour doesn't seem like a lot of money considering that in my area the minimum wage is $10 an hour. My job includes a lot more responsibility, no job stability, no pension plan, no health benefits, no paid vacation, having to deal directly with customers, not to mention snot, poop and puke. I hardly think I get paid enough to deal with the daily obligations associated with the operation of a home daycare.
If I take the $20 provider's cheaper rates and used the same formula as above we would see that the provider is barely earning $4 per hour:
$20 per day - $13 per day in operation costs = $7 per day/child
$7 per day X 5 children in care = $35 per day in income
$35 per day / 9 hours a day of work = $3.88 per hour
Admittedly, I am not the smartest person I know but even I can figure out that $3.88 an hour is scarcely a reason to get out of bed in the morning.
So, what gives? Where is the secret to success in $20 per day care? How do these women manage to feed their family, pay the mortgage and supply all of the things they claim to provide when singing their accolades in the Kijiji ads?
I suspect these providers cut corners on the most basic care necessities. My guess is that these children do not eat well and subside on a diet of K-D and wieners, store-brand cookies and water. These children can not possibly be doing crafts or being introduced to developmentally appropriate toys. What about trips to the park? Can a provider earning $3.88 an hour realistically afford a triple stroller to accommodate small children en route to the park? My initial perception is a resounding NO.
Sadly, every now and again you will hear of a provider in your area losing a child in care to one of these cheap providers. Unfortunately the parents either can not do basic math or simply do not care. Personally, I believe that money should never come into play with respect to the care and safety of your child. I only wish these parents who are patronizing these cheap providers knew and understood the operational side of daycare. Sadly, it is the children that lose in the end.
How do I combat this problem? When I see and ad for care for $20 a day I give that provider a call. I introduce myself and boldly tell her she is charging too little, that she is worth more and, that parents will pay more if you are worth it. I share with these providers that daycare is hard work and we all deserve to be paid accordingly. Does it work? In some cases, yes it does. But then again, there is still a $20 per day provider around the corner from me. And every time I walk by her home on the way to the park and I see the kids peeking from the fence (where they always are) with snot streaming down their dirty faces my heart sinks a bit.
If you are new to this blog Click Here to meet the babysitter.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Finding The Perfect Daycare Provider
My how time flies. It seems like just yesterday you held your precious child in your arms for the first time. Nearly a year has passed and now you have the daunting and intimidating task of finding a daycare for your child. As a parent, you want only the best environment for your child. You need to know everyday as you sit at your desk that your child is safe, fed and loved.
I am the first to admit that not all daycare providers are created equally. I have had the privilege to know and be friends with some truly great women who care for children in their homes. In my experience most home daycare providers are great people who do a tremendously hard job with much passion. However, as is the case in any business, there are always those individuals who fall at the end of the spectrum.
The smart and prepared parent will interview potential daycare providers with a list of questions and scenarios prepared in advance. And don't be surprised if the provider has a list of questions for you too. The best providers in the business will have a contract, a handbook, and perhaps a list of FAQ's. Great providers will give you a tour of their home, allow you to meet their family and have a list of references for you to take home and contact.
The most important thing to remember when you are interviewing with the provider is that the interview is not one-sided. The provider is also interviewing you. The provider needs to ensure that your child is a good fit for her daycare. She also needs to ensure that there is a similarity in parenting philosophy and that she can comfortably get along with the parents as well. A good daycare relationship can last as long as six or seven years so it is imperative that there is good communication and realistic expectations from both parties.
Below are a few lists of questions that both you and the provider should be asking;
Parent's Questions:
- How many children are in care?
- What are the hours of care?
- What are the daily fees?
- What is the illness policy?
- Who are the other adults in the home during daycare hours?
- Are there family pets?
- What types of foods are served?
- What is the payment policy for vacation, and illness days?
- Does the provider have a curriculum or program?
- Are there references available for contact?
- Does the provider travel with the children?
- What is the nap-time policy for all children?
- Where do the children sleep?
- Where do the children play?
- To what areas of the home do the children have access?
- What is the discipline policy/approach?
- Is there a deposit required?
- Is there a contract in place that clearly outlines the expectations from each party?
Provider's Questions:
- Can the parent work within the operational hours?
- Are the parents aware and have read through the terms of the contract?
- What is the parenting philosophy of the parents?
- Where do the parents live/work?
- Has the child been in daycare before? If so, why did they leave?
- Are there any custody issues to be aware of?
- Does the child have any developmental disorders?
- Does the child have any allergies?
- Does the child have any fears or anxieties?
Great providers will also have a contract written and ready for the parents to take home and review. Many providers will go through the contract during the interview to discuss each section in detail and prompt any questions the parents might have. For many providers, the contract is set and not negotiable. Most provider will not amend a contract to accommodate one family. If the terms of the contract are not agreeable during the interview it best to look elsewhere for care.
When touring the home and property there are many specifics that demand your attention. Is the home clean? Is the home safe? Are there age appropriate and enough toys? Are the nap areas safe and quiet? Is the yard fenced and gated? Is there a pool? Is the yard clean and free of pet excrement? If the play area is in a basement are the windows large enough to escape in the case of fire? If any one of these areas is not sufficiently safe or clean then you might want to explore other daycare environments.
By the end of the interview the most important aspect should be the "feel" or "gut reaction" you get for the daycare provider. In my experience, the best families I have had in care where those who, in the interview, were easy to talk to and openly communicated their needs. You should leave the interview feeling at ease and excited at the opportunity to leave your child in the provider's care.
Once home from the interview it is then time to re-read the contract and call any references. Once you have done these two steps and are feeling comfortable with your decision call the provider to inform her of your choice to leave your child in her care. Most daycare providers consider a daycare spot committed to once the contract is signed and returned and a deposit is handed over.
Choosing a great daycare provider is not complicated. You just have to be open and honest and aware of the surroundings once you are in the provider's home. And remember, as stated above, ninety-nine per cent of home daycare providers are great people who do an amazing job. With even a minimal amount of vigilance, as a parent you should be able to weed out a questionable provider.
Happy interviewing and best of luck in your daycare search.
I am the first to admit that not all daycare providers are created equally. I have had the privilege to know and be friends with some truly great women who care for children in their homes. In my experience most home daycare providers are great people who do a tremendously hard job with much passion. However, as is the case in any business, there are always those individuals who fall at the end of the spectrum.
The smart and prepared parent will interview potential daycare providers with a list of questions and scenarios prepared in advance. And don't be surprised if the provider has a list of questions for you too. The best providers in the business will have a contract, a handbook, and perhaps a list of FAQ's. Great providers will give you a tour of their home, allow you to meet their family and have a list of references for you to take home and contact.
The most important thing to remember when you are interviewing with the provider is that the interview is not one-sided. The provider is also interviewing you. The provider needs to ensure that your child is a good fit for her daycare. She also needs to ensure that there is a similarity in parenting philosophy and that she can comfortably get along with the parents as well. A good daycare relationship can last as long as six or seven years so it is imperative that there is good communication and realistic expectations from both parties.
Below are a few lists of questions that both you and the provider should be asking;
Parent's Questions:
- How many children are in care?
- What are the hours of care?
- What are the daily fees?
- What is the illness policy?
- Who are the other adults in the home during daycare hours?
- Are there family pets?
- What types of foods are served?
- What is the payment policy for vacation, and illness days?
- Does the provider have a curriculum or program?
- Are there references available for contact?
- Does the provider travel with the children?
- What is the nap-time policy for all children?
- Where do the children sleep?
- Where do the children play?
- To what areas of the home do the children have access?
- What is the discipline policy/approach?
- Is there a deposit required?
- Is there a contract in place that clearly outlines the expectations from each party?
Provider's Questions:
- Can the parent work within the operational hours?
- Are the parents aware and have read through the terms of the contract?
- What is the parenting philosophy of the parents?
- Where do the parents live/work?
- Has the child been in daycare before? If so, why did they leave?
- Are there any custody issues to be aware of?
- Does the child have any developmental disorders?
- Does the child have any allergies?
- Does the child have any fears or anxieties?
Great providers will also have a contract written and ready for the parents to take home and review. Many providers will go through the contract during the interview to discuss each section in detail and prompt any questions the parents might have. For many providers, the contract is set and not negotiable. Most provider will not amend a contract to accommodate one family. If the terms of the contract are not agreeable during the interview it best to look elsewhere for care.
When touring the home and property there are many specifics that demand your attention. Is the home clean? Is the home safe? Are there age appropriate and enough toys? Are the nap areas safe and quiet? Is the yard fenced and gated? Is there a pool? Is the yard clean and free of pet excrement? If the play area is in a basement are the windows large enough to escape in the case of fire? If any one of these areas is not sufficiently safe or clean then you might want to explore other daycare environments.
By the end of the interview the most important aspect should be the "feel" or "gut reaction" you get for the daycare provider. In my experience, the best families I have had in care where those who, in the interview, were easy to talk to and openly communicated their needs. You should leave the interview feeling at ease and excited at the opportunity to leave your child in the provider's care.
Once home from the interview it is then time to re-read the contract and call any references. Once you have done these two steps and are feeling comfortable with your decision call the provider to inform her of your choice to leave your child in her care. Most daycare providers consider a daycare spot committed to once the contract is signed and returned and a deposit is handed over.
Choosing a great daycare provider is not complicated. You just have to be open and honest and aware of the surroundings once you are in the provider's home. And remember, as stated above, ninety-nine per cent of home daycare providers are great people who do an amazing job. With even a minimal amount of vigilance, as a parent you should be able to weed out a questionable provider.
Happy interviewing and best of luck in your daycare search.
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