What A Load Of Garbage

This morning while on the treadmill I was watching CBC News World. As I am sure you are all aware the city of Toronto is in the throws of a city worker strike. The segment focused on the garbage strike but for a few minutes they talked about the 2800 daycare children that have also been affected.

My interest was peaked when the segment turned to a working mom who has since been forced to stay home with her two children while her daycare closed due to the strike. There are shots of her children, happily playing in the park while she looks on, checking emails and texting from her Blackberry. The mom conveys her dismay at having to care for her two children while attempting to "stay in touch" with the office. Up until this point I can commiserate with her. It must be difficult to suddenly find yourself out of work as a result of a third party grievance. However, it was the next thirty seconds that left me running at 4.5 mph all the while shaking my head. Once again, my opinions were validated. People honestly do not understand the responsibilities we face each day.

In the last thirty seconds of the segment two sentences struck a nerve with me. The first sentence followed an explanation by the woman about her now, jobless days. She told the reporter that her day was filled with entertaining, cooking, and caring for her two boys. And, this in turn made her "exhausted at the end of the day". For now, I'll just leave that sentence with you to ponder.

The second sentence that really struck a nerve with me was after she conveyed to the reporter that she has researched her options. Apparently this mother has contacted a temp agency to hire a professional caretaker for her children. The mother did not follow through on this idea as, in her words, "they charged $22 an hour!". Now, if that statement is not enough I will also tell you that had you seen this clip yourself you would have had the benefit of also seeing the body language that accompanied those words. The mom had a look of shock and dismay on her face when announcing that ridiculous rate to the reporter. And, my guess is that she did not even take into account that the actual provider would receive but a fraction of that $22.

So, going back to the first quote and closely followed by the second, I have to ask the question; if it's "exhausting" for a mother to care for her own TWO kids then what makes it so ridiculous for a caretaker to earn $22 an hour to care for a stranger's children? Maybe I'm daft but I just don't understand.

I often read message board threads by parents who complain about the cost of daycare. Of course, this takes into account that, for the most part, they are only paying the low cost of about $3-$4 per hour of care for their child. And then the inevitable occurs - a daycare provider will pipe in and "educate" these parents on the true value and cost of care. This information always leads to some parent stating that earning $20 an hours is "a lot of money to stay at home". Sigh. Am I the only one who sees the correlation between what typically is said of home daycare providers and the statement made by the parent on the CBC segment? Now there's a double standard staring you in the face. It's "exhausting" to stay at home and care for your own two kids but it's "ridiculous" to think that a provider earns a gross of $20 an hour to care for five kids. Hmmm...I must be living in a parallel universe.

When will parents realize the value of good daycare? When will we be viewed as more than just temporary kennel keepers? When will people start to value daycare workers' wages and benefits more than those who pick up our garbage? I value the garbage man. Honestly, I do. I could never do his job. He deserves to be paid more. But, sadly, I don't see too many people standing up with their signs in the streets demanding that daycare workers be paid more. Where is the balance? You can't find the balance because it's non-existent.

I think the strike in Toronto might be the best thing that ever happened to Torontonian daycare employees. Perhaps their hiatus away from their jobs will allow them the time they desperately need to regroup and recharge. And maybe, just maybe, in that time the parents will also realize their value. How many days do you have to experience exhaustion caring for your own two kids before you start to understand? Of course, the daycare workers will earn their new wages and benefits many times over on their first week back to work. I don't envy the over-tired, grumpy kids lacking naps and routine during their time away that they will be forced to deal with. But hey, that's why they get paid the big bucks.

To all the Torontonian daycare workers on strike I have this to say; hang in there, enjoy your time off and know that Judy stands behind you. Good luck and I sincerely hope the strike benefits you. You work hard and deserve to be compensated likewise.



For concerns, advice or suggestions I welcome your email at judytrickett@yahoo.ca

You Are NOT My Boss!

Nothing irks me more than reading posts by parents who claim to be my "boss". I was recently reading a post on a message board where another provider was trying to point out the difference between employee and service provider/self employed. Parents assume that because they sign the cheque they hand over to me every Monday that they own me. They also assume that they make the rules. Albeit, most of them wouldn't have the gonads to tell me this to my face. They're smarter people than that. But, on occasion these parents do get involved in forum discussions and their true sentiment is revealed. I only wish they would speak their peace to me personally. Nothing would give me more satisfaction than to watch them fall off my front porch after the door hit them in the ass.

So, I guess if simply handing over a signed cheque makes you a boss then I am in quite the control situation. I had better call up the CEO of Bell Canada, Manulife Insurance and TD Canada Trust and demand some things. After all, I sign their cheques too. I wish I had made this revelation earlier. No doubt that since I am the boss I could certainly demand that TD lower my mortgage interest rate. What the hell was I thinking all this time?

I honestly don't understand where parents get this idea. I would bet my very last dollar that they would never tell their dentist that they are their boss. Or their medical doctor. I mean, in reality don't they pay the medical doctor through their taxes? And we all know that those MD's are getting paid well. One would think that if you were paying the cable company each week you should be able to tell them when they were allowed to service you. No longer would you have to wait within the 'window' as informed by the customer service agent you also pay for.

It might come as a surprise to most daycare parents that they are not my boss. In fact, they would probably look at me like I have two heads if I told them that me, myself and I are my boss. Their title ends at client. They are someone for whom I provide a service. Nothing more, nothing less. I open the door everyday as promised, care for their children and in return they pay me. It's not complicated.

I guess that if it made them feel better they could call themselves 'boss' and me 'employee'. And, to be truthful I would welcome this array of titles if they earned the opportunity to do so. If a daycare parent wishes to view me as their employee I say "bring it on". Just don't forget that as your employee I will expect you to contribute to both my employment insurance benefits, my Canada Pension Plan benefits and of course, I will expect that you either give me two weeks off with pay or dole out four percent of my gross income each and every year. Sorry, but you just can't have all the glory and bragging rights of the title 'boss' without putting your money where your mouth is.

I'm guessing that I will never be an employee in the truest sense of the word. Of course, there will still be those parents who think it okay to view me as nothing more than the Tim Horton's drive thru employee they probably interact with everyday. As long as they keep it to themselves all will be okay. Because even on my good days I can be a bad ass. So, let's just make a pact with these parents. Don't call yourself my "boss" and I won't ask you where you've been all week while your child was stuck with your lowly employee when you show up in shorts and a T-shirt for pick up the fifth day in a row.

Yeah, tit-for-tat doesn't feel very good, does it?

For concerns, advice or suggestions I welcome your email at judytrickett@yahoo.ca

Season Of Fun

Summer is finally here. And for most daycare providers that means it's the season of outdoor fun. Is there anything better than getting paid to stay outside in the sunshine all day long? Man, it is during seasons like this one that I feel the good days more than the bad. Sometimes in the summer I reflect on the past six months and start to wonder if I appear like a walking Prozac commercial from November to January. But, hey, whatever gets you through the day. I swear that for daycare providers there is not only Seasonal Affective Disorder but rather Seasonal Affective Derangement. Is there anything better to lift that mood of your dismal existence of six months of intensified crying of your exclusively indoor habitat than a few rays of sunshine and children quietly playing in the sandbox?



As I look at the calendar I start to panic when I realize that already there are too few days left to summer. How on earth am I going to fit in the myriad of activities and special trips I want to do. After all, summer is not just about entertaining the daycare kids but my own too. So, even though I know, in my heart of hearts, that upon returning from the splash pad with four overtired, cranky toddlers, and three sunburned, ravenously hungry and now bored older kids I will tell myself 'never, never again'. And then the very next week you will find me standing in the driveway packing up the van for our next adventure.



Daycare outings always bring me some sort of amusement. Not only are the kids in their supreme glory at looking at something other than my backyard, there is sure to be the odd onlooker who just can not refrain from comment. Does it not make you both laugh and feel proud when some mother makes the familiar comment, "I don't know how you do it". All the while she is struggling to physically remove her kicking, screaming child from the splash pad getting herself soaked in the process. Of course, this is the time when the daycare provider stands up from her lawn chair and yells at her gang to come on over. Without hesitation they promptly run over as asked. You can't help but let out that smug smile you were trying to control as the commenting mom is still engaged in battle. Maybe I should just tell her how I do it. Ah, heck, let her learn the hard way. Besides, introducing yourself at the city park while mom is in the midst of prying her child's hand from the metal water rails with a "Hi, I'm Judy. Here's my blog. Read it and you too will know my secret" is hardly appropriate.



Yes, this summer there will be many, many occasions wherein you will find me putting together a dozen tuna sandwiches, a pound of hulled strawberries, seven sippy cups, five bananas, a stack of towels, bottles of sunscreen, extra sun hats, sand pails, shovels, band aids, wipes, diapers and a blanket. And then don't ask me why I need to also pack myself a lawn chair. Getting there is the most exhausting part of the trip. Well, that and the one thousand times I will hear, "Are we ready to go yet?" from seven sets of lips.



Field trips are fun - for the kids. For the provider they are more work than staying at home. Just remind me of that before I go. Because once I get there and sit in my chair feeling the warm breeze pass by while listening to the kids giggle I won't remember a thing but that moment.


For concerns, advice or suggestions I welcome your email at judytrickett@yahoo.ca

Fabulous Friday

Ah, it's Friday and I'm not working. How wonderful it was, for the first time in about five years, to just get up on Friday whenever I damn well felt like it. It's heavenly. I only wonder why on earth I didn't do it sooner.

I'm always preaching to providers to do whatever it is that makes them happy. Too often we strive to please everyone else. We meet everyone else's needs but rarely our own. Heck, we even strive to meet the needs of the parents whose children we care for even when their "emergency" should in no way be our emergency. We give up our anticipated days off to cover for their lack of planning. I see it often. And yes, even I have been guilty of such actions on occasion. But for me, guilt doesn't seem to last when I find that I worked all day Friday for a parent who "needed" care only to find they had been home since eleven that morning. Instead, I paid the price of losing my free time so they could have theirs. Well, never again.

A few months ago I decided that I needed a better life/work balance. Now, admittedly, to most people I already have a pretty fantastic balance of work to play. But for me, it wasn't enough. And honestly, I couldn't care less what the others think. I worry about me first. If I don't worry about me then who the heck will? The daycare parents? I don't think so. So, I decided that today, June 26th, 2009 would be the first week of Fabulous Friday. In April I let the one remaining "Friday Family" know that my services would no longer be available on the last day of the week. Did I risk losing them? Sure I did but it was a risk I was willing to make. Besides, if I wasn't worth accommodating after five years of working around their flexible schedule and extended hours then the loss wasn't really that great. Regardless, I have never, in all of my time providing daycare, worried about losing a family and not being able to find a replacement. It always seems to work out. Always.

So, today I am reaping the rewards of my courage to speak up and ask for what it is that I want and need. I'm so glad I did it, too. My kids are excited to know that our family - all of us - now have a customary three day weekend fifty-two weeks of the year. How thrilling to know that over the next ten years that I really have left with my kids before they fly the coop that we will have an extra 520 family days together. Wow! 520 days! That's the equivalent of an additional year and a half of consecutive days off together that I received for the simple task of asking for what I wanted. Sounds like a good deal to me.

I have to finish up this post. My kids are calling me. Apparently there is a robin in the back yard pecking at a strawberry. They want me to come sit on the deck, in the sunshine and watch the show with them.

"I'll be right there kids. I just need to fill up my coffee".

For concerns, advice or suggestions I welcome your email at judytrickett@yahoo.ca

Are You Kidding Me?

I just HAVE to blog about this topic today - the absence of the word "no" when disciplining children. I want to thank a reader here who emailed me a link to a popular parenting forum that was discussing this topic. Before I go off on what is sure to turn into a rant I will share with you the scenario:

A daycare provider posted asking for advice in ceasing some bad behavior exhibited by a child in her care. Apparently, this child was consistently hitting another. The provider was at her wits end. She had tried using words, redirection and time-outs. Feeling helpless and defeated she asked others for advice.

One of the responses made me nearly spit out my coffee when I read it. I will share it with you now:

I think saying "she does not hit" and time outs are very
negative. Rather than tell her what not to do - tell her what to
do. Hands are for shaking or hands are for high fives or hands are for hugging.
I don't even use the word "no" and my sitter doesn't either As far as time
outs go - try re-directing the little girl to something else. At the very
most have her do a sit down activity (colouring).There is never a reason to speak negatively, raise your voice, use the word no or hit a child. All
unacceptable to me. I can honestly say if I found out my sitter ever put dd in time out or spoke to her negatively, dd would not be going back.

All I can say to this is “wow”. Honestly? Is “no” such a bad word? Where is the value in providing your child with the reality of adulthood and the world if they never experience “no”? And never a harsh word? Yikes! Because I am quite sure this parent has never, ever lost her cool when discovering her child has used a Sharpie on her brand new duvet or freshly painted walls. And God-forbid this child experience a “no” during her kindergarten years. The poor thing will be found curled into a ball upon pick up every day. The teacher will undoubtedly develop a complex at having ruined the psychological stability of a four year old. Starting school is a stressful enough experience without suddenly finding yourself in a parallel universe where the other kids do not take kindly to your taking whatever you want from them and expecting no consequence. But, hey, I guess if she hits her friend in the head with the play centre iron she can always be directed and, “At the very most have her do a sit down activity”. Geesh people. Get a grip on reality. And if there is one sure fire way to bring out the fierce momma bear in a woman it is to harm her child. Not only is every student in this child's class not going to want to play with your child the parents too, will, without doubt, view her as one of "those" children. And let me tell you, "those" children do not get invited to play dates and birthday parties. Do you really want that isolation and (gasp!) rejection for your child? Because, trust me, carry on like you are and it's sure to come.

I have always said that there is a provider for every child and a child suited to every provider. Luckily, for this child her parent did her homework and found someone to care for her that has the same warped sense of providing a of false security that she gets at home. I can only imagine, however, how difficult it is to be that provider. I cannot even imagine four or five kids running around who have never heard the word “no”. I have never been witness to a state of anarchy but this comes as close as possible to my perception of such an event.

Of course, I could not leave the forum and not comment. That’s just me. And, I am also certain that you already know that my opinion was not received well. Oh, well. Such is life. Apparently the parents of these children don’t like people who disagree with them or tell them “no” either. Hmmm…the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

So, my words to those who think it appropriate to raise your kids in an apocryphal utopia accurate in its authenticity and reality to only one’s self, you are living and teaching a lie. Life if full of “no”. I cannot predict the future that lies ahead for your child. But I do know this; they will be heartbroken and rejected by a lover, they will not receive that perfect job opportunity at some time, they will have periods of failure, and the world will not unequivocally say “yes” to their every demand.

Keep on parenting in the style you deem to be sensible. And when all is said and done let me know how they are doing around the age of sixteen. I’m pretty sure the word “no” will come out of your mouth at least once in the teen years. But, unfortunately, by then it will be too late and your child will not understand a word you say. Good luck with that.





For concerns, advice or suggestions I welcome your email at judytrickett@yahoo.ca

Please Note - Website Changing!!

Hello everyone. Just a short post today to inform you that I have been working on purchasing and registering a domain name for this site. Please find a special place (such as your daycare calendar) to note the following address:

www.justthebabysitter.com

Sometime within the next few days the new website address will take effect. It is my hope that all traffic will be re-routed for a period of time. However, should this not occur you will need the new address to find the site. You may continue to log into the current address until the full transition has taken place.

I want to express my sincere thanks to all of you who log in and read every day. It is because of you that this blog is growing by leaps and bounds. Keep telling your friends, and fellow providers. Your referrals are greatly appreciated. And maybe, just maybe, if I can attain a personal readers goal I might think about writing that book you are all hounding me about!

Here's to a glitch-free transfer to the new site! Many, many thanks!


For concerns, advice or suggestions I welcome your email at judytrickett@yahoo.ca

Don't Be Led Down The Yellow Brick Road

My daycare provider friend, Dorothy is a hard knocks type of gal. No one pulls the wool over her eyes. I have yet to meet a fiercer business woman in the realm of daycare. Dorothy has a saying, "You book it - you buy it". Dorothy is right on the money with that adage.

Canadian summers are far too short. It feels like July first rolls around each year and in the blink of an eye and two camp fires later the kids are skipping off to school again. We Canadians are opportunists. When you live in a climate that, like the last year, consisted of literally six months of winter-like winter you sure as hell are not going to waste a single second of any day over twenty degrees. I know that in my area we had our first snow fall before Halloween and our last just before Easter. Yes, that American myth of approaching the 49th parallel and being blinded by the snow border twenty feet tall is starting to become a reality. If you don't like dogs you better learn to. I hear huskies can be quite aggressive!

Back on topic......

Daycare providers love summer. It is a time of less noise as the kids are in the yard for hours a day. It means our homes stay cleaner and our sanity remains intact. But there is a down side to summer as well - vacation time. Now, if you are a hard nosed provider who doesn't take any flack perhaps you have not experienced those mid-June moments when informed by a parent that they will be taking an entire month (if not more) off to enjoy this radiant, blue sky weather. At first notice you attempt to conceal your jubilation at the news that your summer will be a little less busy. That is of course until mom also informs you that what she really means is that she will be staying at home and you will not be getting paid. You take a double look at her to ensure that you really didn't smack her upside the head after recovering from this reeling news and then in that stupefied moment you utter something along the lines of "uh-huh". Mom strolls off with her child in hand and you are left trying to absorb the conversation that just occurred.

If this has happened to you rest assured you are not alone. Just this week I have read, on message boards, three different providers being delivered this news. And, hey, what can you do about it? You can't force a parent to work all summer. You can't demand that they send their child to care. But, you can, and must demand that they pay the usual fees regardless of attendance. There should be no circumstance where you hold a spot throughout the summer (unless otherwise agreed upon at the onset of care as in the case of teachers etc) and not be compensated for it.

Maybe I'm completely wrong but I hazard to guess that should a parent be put in the position of not having employment over the summer they would do one of two things. They would either look for another job or, they would collect Employment Insurance. Being self-employed we do not have the luxury of employment insurance. But, we can find another 'employer'. We can fill the spot with another child and leave the aforementioned family without daycare services upon their return. I would advise this last option to all providers. Why should we be expected to hold a spot, without compensation over an entire summer? For the average daycare provider that could amount to over $1200 in an eight week period. Nope, nadda, no way, no how.

So, for those of you who have been approached with this news recently be prepared. Look after you first. After all, isn't that what the parents are doing? And, on top of it those same parents are probably collecting vacation pay and pocketing your daycare fees as their spending money. So, while your arms get shorter and your pockets get deeper they are enjoying your income as their own. Enough is enough. Speak up and demand what is yours. Tell parents you will gladly hold their spot when they pay for it. And, if they see this as unfair let them discover how hard it will be to start looking for daycare and building a rapport with another provider all over again. Let them suffer the consequences of their actions. And for those spots you still have not been able to fill come their anticipated return time? Sorry, but they are no longer available. If you take back a family who has done this once you can be sure it will happen again. Refuse to work with parents who lack respect and you will always be respected.

And when they still can't grasp the concept that daycare is your source of income and not your hobby? Just pipe up and say, "You booked it - now you buy it or someone else will". Then wave good-bye and log into Kijiji.






For concerns, advice or suggestions I welcome your email at judytrickett@yahoo.ca

Late Fees

Every daycare I know has operating hours. Whether these hours be open to drop-off and pick-up with the prescribed time or specifically spelled out individually in the contract, every provider has a start and end time to their day. Just like any other business there are hours set aside in the day for us to be responsible to someone else for our product or service. Unfortunately, there are times when parents do not view our hours with respect and decide that their time is more important than our own.

Tardiness is a pet peeve of mine. It reeks of disrespect. To me, it demonstrates that the person being late values their own time more than that of the person who is left waiting for them. It's rude, inconsiderate and will leave you without daycare. My thoughts are that if I can be here, on time, each and every morning then the parents can be here, on time, each and every evening. There has never been an occasion wherein a parent has come to drop-off their child to find me not here. But, I can assure you that I have stood staring at the ticking clock, muttering profanities under my breath many, many times.

What happens when a parent arrives to pick-up late? For me, it depends on a number of factors. The first of these factors would be frequency. How often is this parent late? The second factor is situational: Did they honestly get held up in a doctor's appointment? Or did they find their usual fifteen minute trip took triple the time in the ice storm of the year, and rush to get here sincerely apologetic and embarrassed at having stolen my free time? Or did they stroll in without a word of regret? All of these specifics come into play when I deal with a tardy parent.

Regardless of the reasons, one must have a late pick-up policy in their contract. And, the late fee should reflect an amount that not only compensates you for your extra time but acts as a deterrent to future infringements. Your late fee should also reflect your normal hourly rate. For most providers this would be between $15 and $20 an hour. Taking into account the average worker gets paid overtime fees of one and a half times his normal rate that would increase your fees likewise. My late fee is $15 per half hour or any part of that half hour. And, I expect that fee to be paid to me the next morning at drop-off if you wish to leave your child in care. And I mean that! No pay - no stay.

There are very few occasions wherein I have had to enforce the late fee policy. For the most part I make it very clear that tardiness will not be tolerated. It's amazing what parents will pick up on when you just spell it out for them. In fact, in all my years of daycare I have only enforced the policy on two families. The one family got the point and was never late again. The other wasn't so quick to pick up (no pun intended!) on my lack of patience at having to once again work an hour late on a Friday night. They assumed (wrongly) that paying me an extra $30 meant that they were entitled to be late anytime they damn well pleased as long as they came in with cash in their hand. They found their selves without daycare one Friday evening about six o'clock when they decided to stroll on in.

If you are too soft and don't want to rock the boat when parents are stealing your free time while enjoying more of their own then take this into account:

One hour a week of over time X fifty two weeks a year = 52 HOURS OF OVERTIME PER YEAR

Yes, you read that right. If you work only twelve minutes more every day then you will lose out on a weeks pay each and every year. How would you feel if I told you that next week you will care for all those smiling faces, wipe their bums, feed their tummies, and clean up their mess and you will do it all for FREE? My guess is that you would never fall for that. But, if you are not charging late fees when warranted then that is exactly what you are doing each and every year. Yep, working one whole, long, tiring week for free. Ready to change your mind yet about those late fees you aren't charging?

After hours fees exist for a reason. These fees are applied at a premium rate to compensate someone who has already worked their full week. These people should be relaxing, recharging and spending time with their families. Why do you think the after hours vet clinic or plumber, or furnace man charges such exorbitant rates? Why? Because that's what the cost is to him when he has to miss his child's dance recital or the family dinner. Time is money and if you put in the time you deserve the money.

If you don't have a late policy then type one up. Add it to your contract. You'll thank me for it later. And for those of you who are too scared, too nice, too easily pushed over then don't bitch and complain next time you miss your son's T-ball game because some inconsiderate parent thought his time was more important than yours. No, look at your son and tell him that your job is more important than his game.

Work for free? Who does that? Not me.



For concerns, advice or suggestions I welcome your email at judytrickett@yahoo.ca

Bittersweet

Today is the last day for the four year old I have in care. Her mom is a teacher and, as has been the case for the past three years, does not require summer time care. However, unlike previous years when she has always returned in September, this year she will spend her days with a new provider in the fall. This child will attend half day JK and the home of her new babysitter in the afternoon. Yes, I did call her a babysitter.

Perhaps I am a bit jaded. No, I'm a lot jaded. I am the casualty of a $20 a day provider in my neighbourhood. So, instead of staying in my care at a rate of $40 a day that included transportation to and from school, no fees for school holidays and the same excellent care I have provided them for three years I have lost out to a babysitter. This babysitter will charge half my rates, have the child in care for the same number of hours, will have her ten year old walk the child to and from school and will unlikely be serving a whole-foods, organic menu. Yes, I am a victim of the discount warehouse of the neighbourhood babysitter.

I think what bothers me most about the situation is not that I am losing a great kid - possibly the best child I have ever had in care - but that it does demonstrate on some level that I really wasn't appreciated. To me, there is no argument to be make otherwise when I am dumped due to money. But, hey, I guess you get what you pay for. I'm quite certain that the ten year old who will be escorting her to and from school won't stop to notice that her top button is open and her hood is flying in the wind on those cold, minus 20 winter days. I'm also quite certain that the ten year old will not be relayed messages by the teacher on the daily happenings in her classroom. Nor do I suspect that she will appreciate tromping through the knee high snow on her way to school instead of the warmth of a nice warm ride in the middle of January. And, finally, I'm thinking that for the $20 a day they pay in fees there will be no residual monies to celebrate special days like birthdays, Christmas and Easter. I just don't see it happening. I'm also sure her babysitter won't take her to Wal-mart along with her own kids and happily buy her a toy too so she won't feel left out. And forget about Muffin Day.

I'll admit that I'll miss her humour. I often laughed about how I should really videotape the stories she relays to me about her "hard poop" or her "nose boogers". But, then again, what would I do with those tapes? It's apparent our relationship is superficial at best. I don't foresee a wedding invitation any time in the future.

But, her leaving will also ensure that I am no longer sitting here watching the clock tick by every Friday when I know her mom was off at 11:30am and will enjoy an afternoon nap before she shows up at one minute to closing to pick up her child. It will also mean that as of this week I am no longer a full-time home daycare provider but now enjoy the luxury of being closed each and every Friday. Yes, today is a bittersweet day.

The oven just beeped. It's now up to temperature. I guess I had better go and get started on those special cupcakes I am making to celebrate her stay with us. I had better make them extra special. They might be the last ones she ever has in her daycare years. I know for certain that I am her last "daycare provider". So, I'll make today count. She deserves it.




For concerns, advice or suggestions I welcome your email at judytrickett@yahoo.ca

Don't Die Trying

Everyone here who reads this blog understands that my goal in blogging was first to vent my frustrations to an audience who understood my angst and second, to for once, speak the truth about daycare. I wanted providers to feel like they are not alone and parents to understand that we are just people - people with limitations, biases and flaws. We are not the rosy-cheeked Norma Rockwell portrayal of witless but exorbitant happiness all the time. I believe that is it time for us to become transparent. To allow others to see us as the people we are and accept us as such.

My philosophy of honesty and integrity leads me to become frustrated when I see others who always strive to say the right thing rather than the truth. Nothing makes me more upset then to witness people who rob themselves of the freedom of voicing their true feelings and objectives. I suspect this is the reason that when I saw the following topic headline, "Do You Treat Them All The Same?", on a message board I couldn't resist reading the responses.

It astonishes me how many providers can not admit the truth of this question. I'm quite certain, as well, that many of them have grown so accustomed to saying what is societally correct that they can no longer identify the lies they tell themselves. For example, a number of providers answered that post claiming to have as much love and admiration for the children they care for as their own. Lies, lies, lies.

I once had a client interview with me who asked me this same question. She wanted to ensure that, "You will treat him exactly as you would your own children, right? How do I know that will happen?". Well, I had to tell her the truth. Needless to say she didn't call back. And, really, who could fault her for the question? I understand, with complete clarity, the reasons behind her asking such a loaded question. My sympathy to her as I know that whomever she did place her child with undoubtedly lied - whether outright or subconsciously.

If you are reading this and in complete disagreement I will ask you to take a minute, clear your head and look away from the computer. When you come back I want you to read the question that will follow and answer in the most honest, truthful, one second response you can. Look away now.......

The Question:

If you had multiple children in your care and they, and your own child were all playing together in the same room and the house caught on fire who, of all of those kids, would you take to safety first?

See? Do you REALLY love the children in your care on the level you love your own? If you answered anything but your own child then I feel deeply sad for your child. Because, if their own parent isn't willing to risk life or limb for them over anyone else then they truly have no advocate in life.

Sure, we can like the kids in our care. We can even love them. And, we would certainly see that, they too, got to safety. But the fact remains that you will never love them on the same level you do your own. I challenge you to really think about that question. Push all the societal pressures to be perfect, unbiased and equally loving and just be real. For once, be real. Yeah, it's hard at first isn't it? There is no reward for being real. Real is not popular. But real saves your child in that house fire.

So, my real, truthful, and uncalculated answer to that thread question is that NO, I don't treat them the same. Yes, I expect my children to share their cookies with them rather than eat a treat in front of the kids. Yes, I expect my own child to share a toy brought into the daycare space as I would any child bringing a toy from home. But, in a lot of ways they are treated much differently. My kids don't go to work every day - I do. Regardless of the fact that this is my business it will always be their home first. I wouldn't expect them to act as though they were in daycare all day. If I wanted that I would close my doors and plunk them in someone else's care.

Reality is blissful. Honestly, it is. Fooling yourself just causes guilt and regret. When you try to live up to societal standards of what is pretty and correct and acceptable, even when only in your own mind, you will die trying. You'll never get there. It is a stairway with no landing in sight. Stop being who everyone else wants you to be. Start being you. Answer these questions with honesty and clarity. Pass these truths along to the kids you care for. Teach them that happiness does not include lying to yourself to please others. Teach them that pleasing others means never pleasing yourself. Your self reflection and honesty therein will open doors for them in the future. Go back and answer that question again and feel privileged to speak the truth. There is no glory in being someone you're not.


For concerns, advice or suggestions I welcome your email at judytrickett@yahoo.ca

Professionalism

As daycare providers one of our constant complaints is not being viewed with professionalism. As business owners we deserve that respect. However, I often find that a lot of daycare providers are not doing their part in earning the respect of being viewed as a serious, professional business owner. The fact that we work out of our homes does not negate the need for standards adopted by other businesses.

I always cringe when I hear of daycare providers who answer the door in their pajamas. Do they really think this is acceptable? I know of a provider in my area who I often see at school dropping off kids at 9:30am in her pajama pants, bed head hair and Crocs with socks. What the hell is she thinking? I always offer a cordial "Hi!" which inevitably always leads to a short conversation. The same conversation we always have. She is looking for more kids. She wonders why she is always struggling to fill spots and I try not to be smug as I call of the names of the five kids I have in care that day to make their way back to the quad stroller. Maybe I should just tell her that no one wants to send their kids to someone who can't even bother to get dressed to do the school run let alone comb their hair. Some things in life are not a mystery but rather ignorance of the stupid.

I have always employed every professional maneuver possible to give the impression of a place of business when you walk in my door. I have a dedicated daycare space, clean entry way, greet my clients in clean clothes that I put on after my daily shower, my hair is combed, the lights are on and I am ready for the day. I couldn't imagine it any other way. I demand this level of service from any other business so I should offer it in my own. There should be no double standards.

There are many ways to boost your ranking on the professionalism scale. Small things like business cards can make a huge difference. I carry these with me everywhere. While at the park when approached by a parent I can reach into my stroller, pull out a business card and instantly give her the information pertaining to my website, address, phone number, email and business name. I am prepared.

Business cards should always be your first order of building a professional repertoire of tricks. My favourite place to buy business cards is www.vistaprint.ca. You can actually purchase cards on that site for free. Only shipping charges are applied. I am frugal and this works for me. For the low cost of approximately seven dollars I receive more than two hundred business cards. You simply can not beat a deal like that.

Your second order of business should always be a website. In this day of information availability 24/7 many people like to shop around on-line before they make personal contact. Your website should be the avenue you use to lure potential clientele in to your web. A website should include enough specifics to whet their appetite while signing your praises. In short, your website should be a place to 'sell' yourself. You want parents to leave your site with an urge to know more about this fantastic place you call your business. And, it also serves as a time saver. If specifics like hours, fees and openings are listed on your site you will allow clients to self-qualify before calling you. It cuts down on the amount of time you will spend on the phone with parents whose needs you can not meet.

All of the above things are great, but will be all for not if you lack a contract. The number one life-saving appliance in the world of daycare is an iron clad contract. Not having a contract is akin to daycare disaster. More providers close their doors due to lack of contracts than any other reason. They might tell you it was because parents were too hard to deal with or the kids were a nightmare but in reality it comes down to a lack of printed and agreed upon expectations and those can only be found in a contract. Contracts convey that you have put considerable time and thought into your business. They give an air of experience even if you have none. So, if you don't have a contract you need to take every spare minute TODAY to make that happen. I will gladly send you mine if you need it.

Professionalism isn't hard to attain. You just have to look and act the part. Combing your hair helps. So does getting dressed each and every morning. And, if all else fails just live by the mantra of every doctorate student that has ever completed a residency period - "Fake it 'till you make it".


For concerns, advice or suggestions I welcome your email at judytrickett@yahoo.ca

The Muffin Management Principle

"The proof is in the pudding."

How many times have you heard that line? It's often true. Many times my child "management" philosophy is criticized but today I was reassured that it works. Today being Thursday means one thing - it's muffin day. I loaded up the four kids I had in care along with my own two and off we went to the family country store down the street.

As is always the case, my son held the door for everyone to enter the store. The three year old took the hand of the eighteen month old, my daughter reminded everyone not to touch the breakables as we passed by them and the other three year old let all know that she was going to stay with the group. And none of this came through prompting by me. We were in the store for about ten minutes and in that time made a collective decision what kind of fruit to purchase, which cookies we wanted, and each persons' favourite muffin to put in the box. Not one - Not one - child whined, cried, argued, fussed or complained.

While standing at the muffin counter one of the older ladies who part owns the store commented on how we come in every week and always behave ourselves and are respectful of the employees and other patrons. At this time another lady piped up and asked if perhaps I could visit the home of her grand kids and "train" them to be as well behaved as my group. I will admit that those comments made me feel ten feet tall and confirmed that my hard work made a difference. But the biggest reward of those comments was the smiles it produced on the faces of all those kids who also felt good to be recognized and applauded for their efforts. They learned that the reward for good behaviour is good behaviour itself.

Kids don't have to be monetarily or materialistically rewarded for acting in a manner that should be expected of them. My daycare is proof of this. We go out on Thursday to get muffins not to reward them but because they are behaved. I honestly believe that the kids in my care understand this concept. We act as a group and when one person in the group is not doing their part the group suffers. And if I, as the group leader, is not pleased with the group itself the activity will cease. Kids are smart - they get it.

These same kids often turn into completely different people when in the presence of their parents. Today, the same three year old who reminded us to stay with the group was carried in to my home screaming. She demanded that mom take off her shoes for her and protested greatly when mom tried to take off her coat for her. The other three year old who, while at the store, held the hand of her younger friend who needed assistance, came into my home this morning and rudely spoke to mom when mom did not place her shoes on the mat in just the right fashion. And, the eighteen month old who walked calmly along side her three year old "caretaker" while holding hands ran from mom toward the street in our driveway this morning. Same kids, extremely different behaviours. It's not rocket science.

So, the next time the ladies at the store ask me what my magic formula is I will tell them this.....

Stop being your child's friend and start being their parent. Stop allowing children to display any behaviour you would find unacceptable in any adult. And last but not least; say what you mean and mean what you say. It's not hard - really, it isn't. Stop being a slave to your child's bad behaviour. I know they are capable of more - I have seen it. And really, don't we owe them that respect?

For concerns, advice or suggestions I welcome your email at judytrickett@yahoo.ca

Liar, Liar, Pants On Fire!

When is a lie a lie? Is a lie still a lie when it serves the greater good? Is a lie still a lie when it is done to avoid unnecessary confrontation? When is a lie not a negative but a step to do what is in the best interest of everyone?

I've lied during my daycare career. I've lied to kids when I tell them it's nap time even though they give me that 'hands on the hips stance' and fierce look when they ask how it could possibly be nap time as the big hand isn't at the top of the clock. Yep, I lied. But is it okay to have lied to them and put them down half an hour early because I have ungodly cramps and just want to go lay on the couch? Or what about those white lies you tell to daycare parents? There are those lies of omission as you hand over the Father's Day craft that you claim the two year old supposedly did but has your handy work written all over it. You lie because you just can't be bothered to yet again, tell this parent that their child acted like a brat who sat there in a snit and wouldn't pick up the paint brush. Sometimes the truth is just too costly. Too costly in time, stress and calorie expenditure. You just can't be bothered. Besides, is it really hurting anyone? And honestly, the daycare parents never lie to us. Nope, never.

I have a provider friend who is battling this right now. She has a child in care who requires more sleep than the others. This child will often sleep thirty minutes past the set aside nap time as per her routine. The parents of this child insist that if he sleeps longer than a specific amount of time he will not go down for them at night. So, in order to allow the child the sleep he so desperately needs, and to avoid caring for a cranky overtired child, she lies. She tells the parents what they want to hear and they sing her praises because he went to bed without a problem that night. Yes, she lied and no one is the wiser. Well, except the two hundred blog readers that stop by here daily! But she lied for the greater good. She avoided confrontation from the all-knowing and blatantly wrong daycare parent, the child had the benefit of sleep and she avoided dealing with a cranky child. Sounds like a win-win-win situation all around. She lies, so what?

There are numerous events of the day that I do not report to daycare parents. Some situations simply do not warrant a ten minute conversation explaining something that you had to be there to understand. Like the fact that one of my daycare kids was stabbing another with a plastic fork today. Before you read on just trust me when I say that this situation sounds far worse than the reality that it was. No harm was done - with the exception of the hurt ego of the offender who promptly went to time out. I will not tell the victim's parent that she was stabbed by a plastic eating utensil. There are no marks and the child is non-verbal. Is this a lie by omission? Sure it is! But what is worse - to make the offender appear like a two year old psychopath in the making and stress out the mother of the victim when it's really just an isolated incident orchestrated by an otherwise wonderfully behaved child, or to shut up and say nothing? I'm voting for nothing. No harm no foul.

I guess I can add another name to that list of things I have been called.

My name is Judy and I'm a liar.



For concerns, advice or suggestions I welcome your email at judytrickett@yahoo.ca

You Deserve A Raise Today

You deserve a raise.

Right now, after reading that first sentence, you are doing two things; 1. You are nodding your head, and, 2. You are now very interested in this article. Good, I'm glad I have piqued your interest. Because, seriously, you DO deserve a raise.

Daycare is serious business. We work long hours, accept mountains of responsibility, pay overhead, wipe poop, swab up puke, dodge balls of snot sneezed across the room, manage parents, run the business side and often have periods of little income. Such is the life of the self-employed daycare provider. On those points alone we do deserve a raise.

I was recently researching average Canadian annual salary and wage increases when preparing for this article. I already suspected that as home daycare providers we were well below the standard for annual increases but I was astonished to know by how much we are behind. Most daycare providers do not increase their fees each year. At best, we meekly send out a new contract once every two years with an piddly increase of one dollar per care day and hope to high heaven we don't ruffle any feathers. All the while the parents have been enjoying an annual increase each and every year.

Did you know that in Canada in 2008 the average annual increase for a non-unionized employee was 3.9 per cent? Or that in Ontario, minimum wage will increase from 2009 to March 2010 by 8 per cent? How much did your annual increase amount to last year? My guess is not much.

It's high time we started to ask for and demand what we deserve. It's bad enough that the job of childcare has always been one of demeaning compensation and little respect. There is no glory in being viewed as a home daycare provider. I could announce at a party that I am a politician and gain more instant respect then I would admitting that I am helping to shape tomorrow's leaders. We deserve more and dammit - it's time to get it.

I know in my area the average daily rate is around $35 a day. At a minimum of the national average of 3.9 per cent that would be a fee increase of $1.37 per day. And of course, one must not forget that the national average of increases is for those workers who go in, punch the clock, get a pay cheque on Friday and never look back at the doors that spit them out Friday at five o'clock until next Monday at nine. We don't have that luxury. We don't get to use the company toilet paper at no cost, or wash our hands in the company sink with the "free" company water. No, instead we pay for someone else to use those things. We also pay for someone else to eat our food, which invariably increases in price each year. My heat bill, hydro bill, phone bill, property tax, and cost of daycare supplies go up and up year after year. That guy working for his pay cheque does not have to factor any of those expenses into his annual increase. And I won't even get into what our fee increase should be if we took into account the eight per cent minimum wage inflation.

So, $1.37 a day? How many of you increased you fees by at least this amount each and every year? I'm going to guess that there are not a lot of us reading this post raising our hands right now. Most daycare providers I know are hesitant to raise their rates a dollar every two years let alone $1.37 or more every year. Why are we not doing this?

Why do we not feel worthy of a raise? Can you imagine a school teacher (who by the way earns an average of $75,000 a year in Ontario!!!) not getting an annual increase at contract renewal? Wow, we wouldn't have teachers sitting in classrooms if that happened. They would be outside every school waving signs to and fro if that were to occur. But we humble home daycare providers just sit back and bitch and complain that we make too little and pay out too much. It's our own fault. We have only ourselves to blame.

I've heard all the excuses......"the parents will leave", "I don't like confrontation", "I'm too afraid", yadda, yadda, yadda, blah, blah, blah.......

As a general rule I abhor unions. I view them as legal blackmailers who hold the social framework hostage when they don't get their way. But, they do work. Perhaps daycare providers need to take a lesson from them. Unions get what they want because they are united. They collectively agree to stand their ground and not give in. We should be doing this too. It would certainly be a lesson to the $20 a day provider down the street who learns you are filling up your daycare for double her fees.

I was once at a conference of non-daycare professionals and listening to a speaker whose topic was 'value and your self-worth'. What I took away from that hour was that there is perceived value in everything. And that, when you have markedly higher fees than existing similar businesses the general population perceives that your product or service must be superior. The same logic goes for those who mistakenly set fees too low. Most people, smart people, will assume there must be something wrong with the product or service. This philosophy is well known in marketing. If you don't believe me just google "perceived value" and investigate the matter for yourself.

As is my personality, my mind is always going mach speed. I am always thinking many months into the future. For weeks I have already planned out my new 2010 contracts and the fee increase that will accompany them when handed out to parents in December. My fees will increase by two dollars a day. And, because all of my families are part-time that will equate to an annual increase of $300 per child. And if one single parent complains about that pittance of a raise they can find themselves a new provider. If I am not worth an additional $300 over a two year time period (as I did not raise fees in 2009)then I have vastly over valued myself or the parents truly do not understand what it is I do all day.

I challenge you, today, to think about this. How much will your annual increase be next year? If it's anything more than zero I applaud you. And if it's zero you need to re-read this article.



For concerns, advice or suggestions I welcome your email at judytrickett@yahoo.ca

The Silver Lining

While laying in bed last night I was still thinking of the blog post from yesterday. You know, the article about the government implementation of full day JK/SK here in Ontario. Well, I went to sleep with that subject on my mind but awoke with an entirely different perspective. Perhaps I should have slept on the information before I blogged about it.

In my area home daycare rates are very much based on those of centre-based daycare. Generally speaking, you will find that most home daycare providers charge approximately five to seven dollars less per day then their neighbourhood centre-based daycare. And, if those who oppose the new initiative and have knowledge of the daycare industry are correct, the fees in daycare centres will ultimately skyrocket upon commencement of the new program. I think you can see where I am going with this.

Most home daycare providers have a single rate. Regardless of the age of the child, if they are coming into care after a full maternity leave home with mom they will be charged the same rate as their three, four and five year old friends. Home daycare generally operates in this financial fashion. There are the exceptions but I have found this to be the most popular rate schedule. As home daycare providers we can also agree that younger children are far more work to care for then those about to enter the public school system. The care of infants is so labour intensive that the government mandates that only three children under eighteen months of age may be cared for by one person. Hence, the higher fees associated with the care of our youngest charges.

It merits a moment of pause to reflect on the situation at hand. If centre-based care is fore casted to significantly raise their fees due to the loss of the older children they will no longer have in care then should home daycare providers follow suit? My answer is a resounding yes.

I have one fee schedule regardless of age. However, my fees do not, in any way, reflect the amount of work or cost associated with a specific age. Infants, while getting the best financial deal while in my care are far more work. Infants require more time to feed, diaper, soothe, transition, and you must not look away for a moment when an infant is in care. On the other hand are the four and five year old children who, in a financial sense, are paying more than their level of necessity requires. In my opinion, home daycare providers pay it forward. And, by that I mean that in the initial year and a half of caring for a child providers do the bulk of the work and experience the most time consuming period of that child's long term stay in care. We work hard in the beginning and expect to reap the rewards for that work when the child matures, becomes more independent and needs less assistance.

If the government makes it lucrative for parents to utilize all day care for four and five year olds for half the fees I charge then where is my incentive to take on infants at all? Where are my easy days watching the older kids run around the back yard not needing me to chase them out of the garden every five minutes or taking twenty minutes to dress them all? In short, there won't be any of those easy days any more. More work equals more pay. And I don't work because I'm bored.

Maybe I jumped the gun a little bit on the negative of this initiative. Don't get me wrong - I still disagree with ninety percent of the proposal. But if there is a silver lining in that cloud it is this; if every provider had the ability to charge an extra five to seven dollars a day per child then we could each take in one less child. Nearly the same amount of income would be earned at twenty percent less capacity. And, with every provider taking on one less child there would be more children available for those who struggle to fill their spots.

My friend Dorothy says, "Work Smarter Not Harder" all the time. Maybe she's on to something here. But I do have one last point to make. Mark your calendar. This is the day I will make a premonition. It is this:

If centre-based care facilities are mandated by the government to have no more than a 1:3 ratio for children under the age of eighteen months how long do you think it will take them to regulate every single private home daycare provider in the province of Ontario? It doesn't take a degree in rocket science to see that more providers will have a higher ratio of 'under eighteen months' aged children in care than ever before. And, if the government assumes their policies are in the best interest of children in commercial daycare why would they not extend their concern to home based daycare? I can just see it coming now.

Maybe I'm paranoid. Maybe I'm wrong. But I see this initiative as the tip of an iceberg that is going to affect all daycare - home providers included - for a very long time.


For concerns, advice or suggestions I welcome your email at judytrickett@yahoo.ca

One Billion And We're All Fine

Last night when I was laying in bed watching television I caught part of CTV Newsnet. The anchor was speaking about today's impending announcement of the Ontario Liberal Government's new plan to extend junior and senior kindergarten programs into full-time arrangements. In the middle of this broadcast snippet my husband looked at me with that "Uh-oh, she's gonna go off on a rant" look and turned off the light. And he's right. I am going to go off on a rant.

Before I begin my rant however, I will post a link to the information in question for those of you who might be at a loss as to what the heck I am writing about. The link can be found here: Early Learning Report For Ontario Children

I'll be upfront and cut to the chase. I do NOT agree with the program the government sets out to implement. I have some issues with most of what the new initiative of the Ontario Liberal Government hopes to achieve in the next year. Least of which is its impact on daycare. The government claims to be freeing up daycare spaces in centres by instead moving these same children to full day school scenarios. But, what the government is creating is an ever growing snowball effect that will impact every parent and child who requires daycare in the province of Ontario.

For those of you unaware as to how centre-based daycare operates and makes a profit it is very simply this - daycare centres make the most profit margin on the oldest age group of pre-school children. Children who attend care in the year and a half before going off to junior kindergarten have the least staff to child ratio of all age groups. And, in centres staffing is the number one expense. Infant rooms earn a pittance for daycare centres. There is too large a staff to infant ratio to turn a profit. Therefore, remove the target audience that pays the bills and you will soon find daycare centres closing their doors or drastically hiking fees for children still in their care. So, with less childcare spaces and higher fees for those that remain how does this help families? It doesn't. But it does help Dalton McGuinty look good and looking good brings votes. There's always an agenda. Who cares if it's at the expense of every family in Ontario.

My other beef with this initiative is that it affects my business and therefore, me, on a personal level. First, by offering $20 a day childcare spots to three, four and five year old it takes business out of my pocket. Not to mention of course, that this discounted rate means that the remaining portion needed to meet operational costs of running the childcare portion will come out of taxpayers pockets - yours and mine. So, not only is the government stealing my clients it is asking ME to pay for part of their childcare. How does that benefit me?

Then of course there is the same old misnomers that are ever present in our society of one-upmanship and misinformation. Take for example a quote from a national newspaper today:

Children get a better start with monitored lessons, involvement of parents, socializing, problem-solving through play, and exercise and good nutrition not disrupted by moving from daycare to kindergarten, the report said.

Let's examine that quote for a minute, shall we? It's tiring enough that most parents see home daycare as the second choice. Now we have the government taking its pot shots at us too. Involvement of parents? Socializing? Exercise? Nutrition? What parallel universe have these people been living in? Most daycare centres I know of barely get in the minimum amount of mandated daily exercise let alone allow the kids to frolic endlessly in the beautiful weather, making sand castles and discovering grasshoppers as do home daycare. Sorry, but I have seen those sad excuses for "outdoor activity" centres at centre-based daycare. Where is the grass? Yes, I see the uber-safe rubber outdoor flooring but where is the grass? Trees? Ladybugs, butterflies, gardens? Don't bother to strain your eyes too much because they're not there to find. And nutrition? Has the government gone freaking mad? I've seen the menus at daycare centres. I guess if I want to raise my standards I'll dump the chicken drumsticks and home made lasagna and pry open a package of chicken nuggets and ravioli from a can. Sure would save me some time. And then there is this, "not disrupted by moving from daycare to kindergarten". Have the people who make these programs ever met a child? What child do you know who would sit in the same stale environment for up to ELEVEN hours a day and not be bored? Kids need movement and change. If you want to stagnate a child's imagination and learning potential just lock them all up in one room. We wouldn't want them to see that there might be options out there in the world. No, can't have that. Knowing options promotes thinking and thinking promotes wonder and wonder promotes dissidence. And dissidence is never good for the ranks and the powers that be.

Once again it all comes down to the almighty buck. Only this time it is the government who is tossing out a billion dollars to lure parents into thinking that the government is more capable of raising their children then they are. And, saddest of all is that there will be and are parents who buy into this notion. How far into the depths of a spiral do we have to fall before we realize the error of our ways? I can see it now. Kids left in all day 'school' for eleven hours a day for the low cost of $20. And there will be parents who do this. It's one thing to leave your child in daycare all day. It's another to leave them at "school". Because in our society school can do no wrong. Parents will feel confident to leave a child in this environment for literally nearly half their young lives. How wonderful to spend your childhood warehoused like a Christmas-frenzy toy forgotten about by February in the Mattle stockroom. One can only imagine the impact this will have on society in years to come. Sadly, by then the damage will be done and it will be too late.

I can't stand Dalton McGuinty. I didn't vote for him because I felt he was just another lying politician parlaying what he thought would attract votes. Well, Mr. McGuinty you proved me wrong. For once you kept your campaign promise. I only wish you hadn't.


For concerns, advice or suggestions I welcome your email at judytrickett@yahoo.ca

Child Hater

The title of this post makes me laugh. For some reason I feel like this blog is my defense statement in a trial making headlines across the globe. I can just see the front of the National Post now.......Child Hater Takes Cash For Kids. Makes me chuckle! I could only guess at how the article would be spun. The media is quite sagacious in that regard. Oh, I could be famous!

I have been called many, many things in my lifetime. Many of them true I am sure. Yep, bitchy, opinionated, aggressive, wrong, rude, nasty, villainous, and evil come to mind. The lesson though is in balancing perception with buoyancy. One can only be the victim of words if they do not know how to float in the ocean of a verbal barrage. Luckily I have tougher skin and am not easily sunk. Besides, only the individual knows the accuracy of such statements. Being outspoken will never make you popular. Since life is not a popularity contest but a journey of knowing ones self I guess I have nothing to worry about. After all, I sleep well at night - there are no monsters or skeletons in my closet.

I know many daycare providers who aspire to be transparent. My knowledge of this is confirmed each and every day when I open up my email. Sadly, they are too scared of repercussion in a society that is bigoted in such a manner that they could never be the open and honest people they so desire to be. In short, they don't want to be me. And really, who could blame them? Those who agree with the blog posts here are no better than the author. I guess then, that if you allow the naysayers to affect your psyche then you are a mere child hater who operates under the guise of a welcoming heart while cashing their parents' cheques. Of course, those of us who share the same profession know otherwise. We are not child haters. Life is far too short to get out of bed every day and feel complete abomination for those we work with. And from my experience most home daycare providers do the job they do because the want to have a better life experience rather than that of a dismal existence. We genuinely like kids. Because honestly, is there really anyone who doesn't like kids? Kids are the epitome of innocence. They are the true opposite of adult hood. And it's the adults that are the object of our frustration.

To the acute observer there is an undeniable trend in each and every blog post. If you have not yet discovered this trend then you are undoubtedly a naysayer. Because, if you have any insight at all you will clearly see that all the problems most vented about and supported through comments concern the adults in our lives. The parents are the problem. Regardless of the specific situation, event or crisis it's the parents that are the root cause. How many times do I have to state that children are a product of parenting? If we fail they fail. Period.

I'm still waiting to go out and snatch up fifty copies of the National Post with my name blazing across the front of it. What a family keepsake that would be. Maybe on the day it comes out I'll substitute the article for the usual feel-good story books we read at circle time. Oh, but wait, I couldn't possibly read to the children or (gasp!) have circle time. Nope, child haters would never waste their time with such things. Oh, it's almost pick-up time. I had better go and let them all out of the cage. Hope the parents come soon so I can get to the bank and cash that stack of cheques. Yep, my sarcasm never ceases.

For concerns, advice or suggestions I welcome your email at judytrickett@yahoo.ca

Kids Aren't Always Kids

My favourite past-time is reading. I'll read anything, on any topic. My genre of choice is non-fiction. I love to learn and books are the gateway to learning. Even when reading topics adverse to your own ethics learning is still occurring. Understanding your opponent and obtaining a clear grasp on the reasons for their stance is important to refining your own. Last night I was reading a book by John Taylor Gatto titled, Weapons Of Mass Instruction. I thought it pertinent to share with you a transcript from the book.

...I'm asked by parents for a single suggestion for changing the relationship between them and their kids for the better, I don't hesitate to recommend this:

Don't think of them as kids. Childhood exists, but it's over long before we allow it to be. I'd start to worry if my kids were noticeably childish past the age of seven and if by twelve you aren't dealing with young men and women anxious to walkabout London, do hundred mile bike trips, and add enough value to the neighborhood that they have an independent income; if you don't see this, you're doing something seriously wrong.

Even at seven don't edit the truth out of things. If the family has an income kids need to know to the penny what it is and how it's spent. Assume they are human beings with the same basic nature and aptitudes that you have; what you have superior in terms of experience and mature understanding should be exchanged for their natural resilience, quick intelligence, imagination, fresh insight, and eagerness to become self-directing.

The moment I finished reading that excerpt I knew I had to blog about it. That small piece of his book and those many words consolidated every opinion and philosophy I have in relation to parenting and raising children. It's a brilliantly worded snippet that details, if read with attention to what is not said, what we are doing wrong. We are raising dependent, selfish, and clueless kids so sheltered they barely know how to make their own toast at ten. If you are already finding yourself in a position of disagreement I ask you to read further.

When I was in Wal-mart not long ago looking for a pair of running shoes for my son I was shocked at how little selection they had. A conservative estimate of the number of shoes that did not include velcro fasteners was well below twenty percent. My son in nine. How is it that as a society we have nine year olds that still do not know how to tie up a pair of shoes? Are we that busy, tired, misguided and manipulated by our whining children that we just continue to put on their shoes for them at four years of age and keep them stocked in velcro for a decade? What the hell is happening here?

I am often faulted for being too harsh a caretaker; too strict a parent. But is there really any other choice? In my mind there isn't. It is our job as adults, with a greater base of experience in the working of the real world to prepare our children for their future. Who is going to tie up their shoes when they go off to University? Who is going to pay their bills when they reach adulthood and it becomes apparent that they can not keep a job because they have grown up with a misguided ideal that throwing a tantrum gets what they want? Better yet, how are they going to know how to raise independent, respectful and compassionate children when they themselves are parents? If you take five minutes to ponder these questions and then take a look at the relationship most of your daycare families have between parent and child you will be struck with utter sadness. The future is not bright for these kids.

I applaud those parents and daycare providers who are not afraid to discipline the children in their care. The root of the word discipline is derived from Latin: pupil, disciple. The kids in our care are our students. We are their teachers in life. It is our job to teach them about life and that includes manners, societal standards of kind behaviour, independence, self-worth, self-sufficiency and self-control. If we use specific examples it is apparent that those of us who are "harsh" are in reality teaching children real life lessons. Chastising a child who suddenly struck their friend in the head with a sand pail and then putting them into time out teaches them that violence begets punishment. Placing a screaming child into the Guantanamo Unit teaches them that manipulation and control with leave you without genuine relationships and loneliness. And, allowing a child to sit on the stairs for an hour while the other kids play in the yard because the child chooses to not put on her own shoes teaches her that independence is necessary for survival. Better that they learn these lessons now while they still have a caregiver safety net to fall back on rather than a jail cell, homeless mission, or emotionally devoid relationship later in life.

Daycare providers are valuable people. I think what makes us different from many of the other adults in life who cater to children rather than expect them to be all they are capable of is one thing - we spend a lot of time with a lot of children. We simply do not have the luxury of allowing a child to cry until we come over and put on their shoes for them. If we did that our entire house would be at an intolerable decibel level all day long. We are also held responsible for the mark on a child's head when her friend hits her with the pail. We do not have the luxury of looking the other way in situations that warrant intervention. And really, none of us has this luxury but many of the parents I know take it anyway - too lazy to be bothered or too afraid to have their child dislike them. We are not here to befriend our children. We are hear to teach them.

If you are the mean lady who instills discipline but are also the first one on the scene to offer a hug then you deserve a medal. You're doing the right thing. You might not be popular all the time but popularity is overrated. Just know that you are making a difference in the world. You are ensuring a generation of independent, free-thinking, emotionally healthy future adults. That's the point. One day you will have the luxury of bumping into a well-rounded, successful adult that you help to mould. You simply can not reap the rewards of work left undone and neglected. Kids are a work in progress. So keep on working - you are changing the world one child at a time.



For concerns, advice or suggestions I welcome your email at judytrickett@yahoo.ca

Perfectly Perfect Parents

Every once in a while you are graced with a family so perfect that you want to ambush them on the way into your home, lock them up in the basement and perform cloning experiments with their DNA. These parents are heaven sent. You wish you had an entire daycare full of kids with parents like this. They are almost too good to be true. But, shockingly you find out that they're the real deal, baby, and you like it!


I have a set of perfect parents in my daycare. There are the usual givens (that all parents should be doing) like paying on time, picking up on time etc that make them wonderful. However, what makes them perfect parents is their general attitude. They don't hesitate to call you fifteen minutes before drop-off to inform you that their child was running a fever the night before and they want to err on the side of caution and stay home. Or, they call you on Sunday night to let you know that they have decided to take a personal day and of course the child will not be going to daycare. And then, in the next breath worry because they won't be there to give you your Monday payment. They offer to come over right away. There are many reasons perfect parents are so great. But, the number one reason is their attitude. They're just plain and simple - well, nice! They appreciate you and are sure to remind you that you are doing a great job. They realize that parenting is their job and you are simply the support staff. They work with you on issues and are just as concerned that little Johnny peed on your couch as you are. In fact, perfect parents would be horrified to learn this happened and probably offer to have your couch cleaned. Best yet, perfect parents don't get upset that you have to take off three consecutive days because your father-in-law passed away. No, perfect parents express their sorrow and on your first day back to work hand you a cheque that includes pay for the days you took off even though you reminded them that payment was not required. Yeah, perfect parents are truly perfect.


Being a perfect parent has its perks too. I'll admit that I am far more inclined to go out of my way for perfect parents. My perfect parents recently had a sudden job change due to the struggling economy. I had a plan in place to only work Monday through Wednesday. This plan was supposed to be implemented the end of June. But, given perfect family's situation, I not only agreed to take on their child and work Thursday I also agreed to accommodate them early one day a week. Yeah, perfect families get the perks. Why? Because they appreciate me and express that appreciation. They don't treat me like a doormat. They appreciate me as a person and not as just a babysitter. And, in return I am willing to accommodate them in any way possible.


So, to answer the question that was recently asked, "Have you ever had a family that actually met your standards of perfection?", the answer would be, "Yes, I have". It's not hard to be perfect. My standard of perfection isn't complicated or unattainable. Perfection, in relation to daycare, to me, is a measure of respect. Perfect families are respectful. Respectful of me, my family, my home, my business and my limitations as a person. Perfect parents realize I am a person first and a daycare provider second. They understand that my job is not my life. They understand that between the hours of drop-off and pick-up I do my job in the greatest capacity possible. They expect nothing less and nothing more. And you know, it pays to think this way. Their child is a product of her parental environment. She is truly a joy to care for.


Perfect parents are perfect. There is nothing I would change about them. I only wish they were more abundant. In fact, if there were more perfect parents this blog would never have come to fruition. Perhaps if more parents took a lesson from the perfect parents daycare providers would be more willing to let down their guard. Respect goes two ways and quite frankly I'm tired of living on a one way street. Perfect parents know this - that's why they're perfect.






For concerns, advice or suggestions I welcome your email at judytrickett@yahoo.ca

Muffin Day

I am a self-proclaimed food Nazi. Nutrition and high quality food is a big deal to me. The kids in my care, no doubt, eat a more nutritionally sound diet at my house than their own. The daily menu includes all organic, whole foods. I rarely purchase anything packaged and all meals are home made. Heck, I just finished cooking my dog free-range, organic eggs when I discovered she was out of her organic, non-animal tested kibble. Yes, I am a verified food Nazi.

Although I believe that high quality foods are what is best for growing bodies and developing minds I also realized that children need treats too. In fact, I have found that when the importance of nutrition is emphasized on a daily basis those same children will make sound food choices when given the option to decide for themselves what to eat. I see this theory in practice every Thursday. The fourth day of every daycare week is "Muffin Day". This is our treat day; our nutritionally unsound day. On Thursday mornings we all take a trip to the area family-owned and small farm market/bakery. While there we pick up any items I might need for the home and the children choose foods that comprise the menu for the day. I find the theory comes into practice when the children do not ask me for candy or cake but items like fresh cherries, blueberries and peaches. For lunch they will always choose Kraft Dinner or Hard Tacos and although this might not be the best choice available it is their treat of the week. I happily put it in our basket and move on. Whatever they choose there is always one constant - we will get muffins. Each child chooses a muffin of their liking and we head home to consume the warm baked-goods.

Muffin day is my favourite day of the week as well. It excites the kids. Every Wednesday I can be sure that the two little girls who will be with me the next day will remind me at pick-up that tomorrow is Muffin Day. I couldn't forget it if I tried. Ah, but who could forget it? Muffin Day is an easy, relaxed day. Who could ask for more then to have virtually no cooking? Muffins for morning snack, a one-pot meal of KD for lunch and some cut up fruit for afternoon snack. During Muffin Day I use one pot and a chopping board. Like I said, a nice relaxing day.

Muffin Day is so popular that I have even posted it on a forum I frequent. My enthusiasm must be evident as the special day is now being adopted by other providers. A provider friend of mine has just proclaimed Wednesday to be "Donut Hole Day". Good for her! I bet she and the kids will look forward to their special weekly treat for years to come.

Start a tradition. Find your Muffin Day and take one day a week to live the life. The kids will be excited and so will you. One day a week eating muffins, donut holes or Kraft Dinner never killed anyone.


For concerns, advice or suggestions I welcome your email at judytrickett@yahoo.ca

When YOU Are The Whiner

A comment left by an anonymous reader on the Knock, Knock: Arnold Calling Blog made me shake my head up and down. I could totally relate to what it was she was trying to convey. Here is part of the comment that inspired today's blog entry:

I can see now that, my problem has been that I haven't been honest and upfront with the parents in telling hem their little angel is anything but. If I had been, termination wouldn't seem like it was coming from nowhere.

I think we have all been here at one time or another. There are some kids who are not "bad" kids but have ongoing issues of one type or another. For me it was one of the Twins I had in care; Aptly dubbed "The Princess" in another blog entry. These are the kids who do something every.....single.....day..... that makes you want to pull your hair out in chunks until you need to wear a winter hat in August so no one recognizes the need to call the men in the windowless white van to take you to the place with the crisp white sheets and excessively tidy rooms. Yeah, you know what I mean!

The Princess whines, cries, and uses verbal manipulation all day long. She's truly nasty. If she were about eighty years older and of the opposite sex I would refer to her as a crotchety old man. You know, like the old neighbour whose house you ran past after school because you were afraid of the onslaught of verbal abuses he could throw at you for merely breathing on his pristine lawn. Well, I have to deal with that demeanour in a two year old body each and every day.

In the beginning I would comment to the parents that she was whiny and cried a lot. I even tried, on many occasions, to subtly suggest that they nip it in the butt. I knew the reason she employed such whiny tactics was because it worked for her. Her parents never asked her to use her big girl voice or refuse a request that was whined out of her mouth. Nope, she got away with it at home and assumed, wrongly of course, that she would get away with it here.

Eventually, there comes a point that you realize that if you tell the parents the truth at every pick up you will sound whinier than the child herself. Who wants to see their provider at the end of every day only to hear that once again their child whined incessantly, acted demonic, or was generally nasty? It gets old. The parents grow tired of hearing it and you get tired of being the negative Nelly every day. But, not voicing your concerns is the daycare equivalent of shooting yourself in the foot. If you aren't honest - even if that means being the whiny daycare provider - then the parents will assume that all is well in their own little world of warped reality. They will assume that you accept the child's behaviour or that it has ceased. And once this happens you are then stuck. How do you terminate later when the behaviour becomes intolerable or when you have simply reached your limit if the parents no longer realize the issue at hand? Yes, you could blind-side the parents but in my experience this always ends badly. You will undoubtedly be the bad guy in this situation. And word of mouth travels fast when you have a disgruntled parent. You can also assume that the storyteller will conveniently omit the part about the child exhibiting less than desirable behaviour. That's the norm.

So, yeah, sometimes YOU have to be the whiner. Don't be afraid to do this. If there is one thing I know it's that parents realize that their child is whiny. They might not want to admit it to you but trust me, they know. No one wants a whiny child who screams and cries on a whim. Most parents don't have the skills to stop the behaviour and therefore tolerate it. But in the end, no one wants to be manipulated by a two year old. No one. Don't be afraid to air your grievances. It will make termination so much easier in the end. Oh, and as for The Princess? Eventually I gave her parents an ultimatum - shape up or ship out. And yes, I was the master whiner for a few weeks. But, in the end, the parents realized that Judy wasn't kidding. The Princess still has her moments but she is certainly more pleasurable to spend my day with now than she was before. And as long as she ceases to whine all day I can stop whining at pick up.


For concerns, advice or suggestions I welcome your email at judytrickett@yahoo.ca

I'll Be Watching The Dashboard

We should really rename home daycare to reflect what it is we really do. I probably spend more time managing parents than I do the kids. The kids are rarely the source when a problem occurs. Even when it is a problem with a child it then has to be reflected on the parents. Assuming that you are doing your job managing the child's behaviour in a positive way then there has to be some question as to where it is that the child gets the notion that the behaviour is deemed appropriate. I've said it before and I'll say it again; kid problems are parent problems. We teach our children the expected parameters of what is acceptable. If we fail it's our children that pay the price. They grow up in a world with unrealistic expectations and will one day find the lessons they learned in childhood are not applicable in the adult world. So, if child problems are always parent problems what types of parents make for a great daycare experience?

For me, there are two types of parents. There are the assertive parents who think they have their act together and are rarely swayed by the unsolicited advice of any daycare provider, and then there are the sponges. The sponges are the parents who think that they need to learn from every resource. The sponges are somewhat wishy washy too. Sponges often decide not to deal with a problem because a specific resource or unsolicited advice has not been spoon fed to them like their daily dinner routine. So, who makes the better daycare parent? I am an assertive person myself so my first inclination is to give preference to fellow assertive types. But I'm not so sure that is the best avenue to take. I have had my share of assertive parents in care and if I reflected on their demeanour I would realize that they're also the parents who made me the craziest. The same parents who would allow their four year old to manipulate them into putting on their Crocs for them. The assertive types don't even question if there is a better way or if perhaps their parenting style wasn't best. No, instead they continue to be manipulated by their child while they remain smug and all-knowing. The sponges however, may appear flighty and make you want to scream at their general lack of assertiveness but they are open to any and all advice. These are the parents who, when the same whining four year old asks them to put on their Crocs, will stop and take a step back when you intervene and remind the child that they are fully capable of putting on their own shoes. The sponges take the lesson and apply it later. They assume that anyone more seasoned than them must know better. They look to others who have 'been-there-done-that' with respect and a certain reverence. You, my experienced daycare provider friends, are viewed with a sense of awe from the Sponge Gallery.

I recently blogged about an interview wherein I had a mother attend who was aptly dubbed "Bobble-head" mom. At the time of our very brief interview my disdain for her lack of assertiveness was ever present. It was my own self-limiting belief that assertiveness trumps sponginess that made me overlook a very important factor. That factor was respect. I have since heard from this same parent a number of times since that interview. She was hell-bent on having me as their provider. In her numerous forms of correspondence she praised my merits and made known her desire to have her child is an environment with such an experience caretaker. Hmmmmmm.....maybe I needed to rethink my first impression of Bobble-head mom. She obviously knows that flattery can get you anything! All kidding aside, I have since spent many hours reflecting on this revelation I have made. Perhaps the assertive parents are not all they are cracked up to be. Maybe I'm not all I'm cracked up to be! Or maybe, just maybe, it takes all kinds to find a harmonious relationship. Perhaps the key is to find personalities that balance each other rather than mimic.

Today Bobble-Head mom is coming by with the signed contract and deposit. I'm willing to give this a try. I had better go fasten down my blinds. Oh, and please excuse me and refrain from the "I told you so" remarks should I post later that Bobble-heads should stay on dashboards. I guess we'll see.

For concerns, advice or suggestions I welcome your email at judytrickett@yahoo.ca