At what moment did daycare providers become accountable for all things that happen in this vast Universe of ours? It simply amazes me some of the unrealistic expectations and burdens of responsibility that are cast upon daycare providers by the very parents of the children for whom they care.
Just last week I read about a daycare provider having a child pulled from her care due to a simple injury to the child we might have seen occur in any park in North America. The injury was not life threatening. The injury will not leave a scar. The injury did not even cause a trip to the emergency room. What is this injury you ask? You will be astounded by the answer. The child tripped on the cement while out playing and scratched her chin. Yes, a simple scratch.
What is it that parents think we are capable of? We are not super human. Okay, okay, maybe in some respects we do have super powers. I challenge any of the parents of the children in my care to corral seven children and get them all to the park and back in one piece still following instructions as we walk back into the front door. Yes, that does take a little bit of super human capacity! Seriously, are we to be blamed for minor cuts and scrapes that are the natural consequence of a childhood of exploration and limits testing? What does such a parent recommend instead; children sat safely, strapped into booster seats in front of a television set all day? I know that sounds facetious but I ask that question with all the seriousness I can muster? What then, do parents such as these see as an alternative?
Children get hurt. It's a fact. I would wonder about the quality of any child's life should they never have sustained a scratch or a cut or a bruise. I would worry about their ability to explore and learn how things relate to one another in this world. For it is only in falling and watching things fall that we learn about gravity. It is only in tripping and scratching one's knee on the side walk that we learn about momentum. And it is only by riding our bike so fast we are unable to stop and make contact with a fence or garage door that we learn first hand about velocity. Scrapes and scratches are lessons in life that are valuable and should, in some small way, be treasured. For it is a child with a scraped elbow and mud-caked knees that is happiest in the world.
I sincerely hope the parents of this child come to their senses sometime soon. If not, they are in for quite a shock upon the day that child starts school. I can only imagine their outrage the first time their child comes home having received a fat lip in dodge ball or a scraped knee at recess. What will they do then - sue the school?
We are not superhuman. We can not warp speed to your child mid-fall. We can not magically heal a scrap. And we certainly will not keep your child on the sidelines of life. We could but then it would only be the parents, and not the child, who benefit.
Perhaps these parents might want to reinvest in a bubble. No doubt with the recent chin scrape their old bubble has popped. However, while shopping they will discover that bubbles only come in tiny little sizes. There's a reason for that - because children should not be kept in bubbles. They should be kept in sandboxes and playgrounds and sidewalks - all those places that are readily waiting to scrape and scratch and bruise them. And, in my opinion, they are all the better for it.
For concerns, advice or suggestions I welcome your email at judytrickett@yahoo.ca
Don't forget the parents who get pissed about clothes being dirty or sand in the hair.
ReplyDeleteFood crusted faces, yeah, yuck, that will be taken care of. But please, oh please, don't send your child in clothes you're emotionally attached to.
I also do everything in my power to send home sweaty little kids with swing set smelling hands in the summer.
I am a bit of a nervous Nelly outside and find myself saying "be careful" way to often. I let the kids play with sticks, but have near anxiety attacks when they run with them.
My own kid, eh, run away child, just try not to poke your eye out. Somebody else's kid, oh crap, how am I going to explain that goose egg.
Liability insurance isn't cheap either.
Great post Judy
Thanking god for the parents that I have. I sent home 2 mud puddles and one bloody nose last week, without a parent batting an eye. Forwarned them that my house we play with each other and everything we can get our hands on. Clothes and bodies clean and heal but the memories, ( which were caught on digital) will last them a lifetime.
ReplyDeleteMy daughter tripped while running last week and bit a big nasty hole in her lip. What is more important is that they called me to let me know and to let me know she was fine, they gave her some ice and TLC. Not all parents are unreasonable, you know. Any chance there is more to that story than just a scraped chin?
ReplyDeleteouch i guess that just proves what were saying.. it's sad that most daycare providers feel like were constantly being doughted. I wish parents would wake up and see that if you are a daycare provider for more then a year or two you are clearly doing this job because you love it. most of us have our own children here as well and are killing ourselves to make sure they all have a day that is filled with fun, love and safety. Having three boys of my own i embrace the bubble motto and would much rather my kids have a banged up chin then boredom. I guess that provider should have just parked the kids in front of a tv for the day where they would have been "safe".Frankly we daycare providers do more with our kids then there own parents BUT if parents take there kids out and they fall down no one questions that parents if there is "something more to the story" they just laugh and remember when there kids had a bruises all over there legs..[like when they started walking] Statments like that plus the way that parents made there daycare provider feel are the real most GOOD daycare people will close there doors feeling like they can never measure up!!! way to go judy!!
ReplyDeleteI had one get bubble solution in her eye when a bubble popped on her nose today. Guess I better invest in eye protection for the next time we play with bubbles.
ReplyDeleteanother great post! In the ten years of providing daycare I'm happy to report I have only sent two kids home needing stitches. Both time I have been devastated but both times the parents were very understanding that kids will be kids. And both kids till attend here. The one girl is almost 8 and the other boy will be 3 later this year. I have been very fortunate to have understanding families for the most part. No one has ever pulled their kid from my home over this issue thank heavens. I don't know what I would do, I'd feel so terrible and there are those parents around here that do keep their kids in bubbles, those are the types to watch for during interviews so you can steer clear from them!!
ReplyDeleteI guess I should be grateful that a recent interview didn't work out! I had a beginner walker here for that interview and he put his hand onto the head of the 10mth old I was interviewing for to steady himself. Mom instantly reached for him and said "careful of her soft spot!"....um...OK?! Like he knows what a soft spot is? And like I wouldn't have grabbed him instantly if I for one second thought he was putting pressure on her head? LoL Imagine how that parent will be once her little one starts taking off and getting all those bumps and bruises that come along with learning to walk?! Yikes!
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I have a 15 month old in my care who put her tooth through her lip the other day - falling on a couch cushion, of all things!! Her parents were great about it thank goodness!! Thought it was kind of humourous that she could hurt herself on a cushion!
ReplyDeleteYou just never know when someone will get hurt, but you've got to let them explore their world - and be ready with the bandages, just in case!! lol
You have to be carefull with the lassez-fair attitude. I was pretty laid back when it came to bumps (this story invovles my own child) but according to a children's hospital I went to because my 10 month old fell off the couch and was really weird, she's a cryer, she didn't cry much less howl, she didn't really do anything but lie there, I was scarred, anyway according to this hospital my daughter's minor bruises were suspicious. I went through a 15 hour hospital visit, investigations with children's aid and more. Now my family pediatrician and I are fighting to have policy changed. It's definitely important to investigate when suspicious of child abuse. But my daughter had a new goose egg, reason for my visit, and some older bruises on her head from normal learning-to-walk incidences. Not an unreasonable # of bruises, no bruises anywhere else nothing to indidcate abuse. Also she's little. So the emergency doctor felt she was neglected and couldn't possibly be learning to walk, pulling up, anything. Well, they could have asked me to show them that she crawls, pulls up, wlaks holding onto stuff (she WAS walking by mid-July) they could have called my pediatrician about her size or concerns, they could have checked their own files to see that my daughter had undergone tests to rule out illness, diet, etc. for her size, they did nothing, they didn't even treat her injury, they only accused and began investigations with no grounds, even the CAS worker sent to investigate our house was annoyed. She had been busy with REAL cases of abuse and dismissed the whole thing and actually apologized to US for the whole mess. She said someone was probably having a bad night and took it out on us. So be careful, normal minor injusries can ALWAYS be taken seriously, sometimes, they can even threaten your position as a parent, your custody of your children, your business, sanity and security. I am still, by the way, or at least back to being a laid back parent. It took a lot of effort and my pediatricians reassurance and help to realize that the system has gone to far the other way and is creating anxious parents who are afraid to seek help and calm down and allow their children to fall, so they can help them learn to get back up. Society needs to learn to butt out and let parents be parents and let kids be kids.
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