I Don't Know How You Do It

"I don't know how you do it."

How many times have you had someone ask that of you? My guess is too many times to count. Anytime I am the recipient of this comment I simply smile, nod and say something trivial in response. Inside my head however, I am listening to an internal dialogue:

How do I do it?

I say what I mean and I mean what I say. Some days I am the meanest lady on the block. I put children in time outs, stare them down, and sometimes I even raise my voice. I ask and then, when no one is listening I TELL. I don't take "No" for an answer. I demand respect and compliance. I have expectations that dictate everything I do. I expect children to act in accordance to their ability to do so. I promote and expect independence. I will not accept manipulation, power struggles or defiance. I will give "the look" and a nod of disappointment and disapproval. I insist on respect.

BUT

I care as a parent. I provide encouragement, a hug or an ear when most needed. I change a diaper when soiled, and a child when wet from splashing in puddles. I commend on a job well done and praise for the effort of getting half a jacket on for the first time. I offer a hand for security while crossing the road. I purchase foods that offer quality nutrition and then lovingly prepare hot lunches and homemade goodies. I offer a warm place to spend a day in a secure and happy environment.

How do I do it? It's easy. I temper expectation with the reward of a job well done. It's not difficult or unreasonable. And for anyone who might be an onlooker of my day - the proof is in the pudding.






For concerns, advice or suggestions I welcome your email at judytrickett@yahoo.ca