I Don't Know How You Do It

"I don't know how you do it."

How many times have you had someone ask that of you? My guess is too many times to count. Anytime I am the recipient of this comment I simply smile, nod and say something trivial in response. Inside my head however, I am listening to an internal dialogue:

How do I do it?

I say what I mean and I mean what I say. Some days I am the meanest lady on the block. I put children in time outs, stare them down, and sometimes I even raise my voice. I ask and then, when no one is listening I TELL. I don't take "No" for an answer. I demand respect and compliance. I have expectations that dictate everything I do. I expect children to act in accordance to their ability to do so. I promote and expect independence. I will not accept manipulation, power struggles or defiance. I will give "the look" and a nod of disappointment and disapproval. I insist on respect.

BUT

I care as a parent. I provide encouragement, a hug or an ear when most needed. I change a diaper when soiled, and a child when wet from splashing in puddles. I commend on a job well done and praise for the effort of getting half a jacket on for the first time. I offer a hand for security while crossing the road. I purchase foods that offer quality nutrition and then lovingly prepare hot lunches and homemade goodies. I offer a warm place to spend a day in a secure and happy environment.

How do I do it? It's easy. I temper expectation with the reward of a job well done. It's not difficult or unreasonable. And for anyone who might be an onlooker of my day - the proof is in the pudding.






For concerns, advice or suggestions I welcome your email at judytrickett@yahoo.ca

Poop Detector

I am a Master Poop detector. I think poop detection comes with the seasoning of any daycare provider. Poop detection is not only essential to time and productivity but a very useful tool.

It's amazing, really. Upon the first sniff of wafting poop aroma I can pin point which child has recently filled their personal sanitation unit with the remnants of last night's dinner. And I am rarely wrong. I save myself much time and effort not having to dig into the back of a diaper, carefully pull it away from their backside and peer in only to be slapped with the smell of human manure. Poop detection is a better method.

Poop detection can take many forms. One method of detection is smell. For the most part each and every child has their unique poop smell. Take the twelve month old who, according to the parents, feeds herself at home and has been off baby food for many months. I can smell (no pun intended) that lie a mile away. Baby food has a very distinct smell. It's unmistakable.

The other form of detection is time. Do you have a time release pooper? You know, that child who poops on the clock? No doubt if it's 8:23am and your daycare playroom suddenly smells like a Port-A-Potty then the time release pooper has worked their magic. Off you go, diaper in hand right on schedule.

My personal favourite poop detection trick is the hide and seek pooper. There is always one kid who has an ounce of dignity and does not wish for other children to watch him grunt and groan and contort his face. Yep, this is the kid you swear you have lost only to find him hiding in the Cozy Tent space. And the only thing worse than playing hide and seek with a pooper is going to find that pooper and having to stick your head into that confined space. It is enough for you to retaste the breakfast you swear you swallowed for the first time two hours ago.

Poopers are no fun at all. Regardless of how good I get at detecting poop I don't think I will ever become accustomed to the look of what those diapers contain. Poop is not friendly. It never was and never will be. I would love for my poop detection skills to silently slip away due to their lack of use. Sadly I don't see that happening anytime soon. For now I will continue to let my nose know.

I'm a daycare provider and I know poop.



For concerns, advice or suggestions I welcome your email at judytrickett@yahoo.ca

Termination Is Not A Dirty Word

When is it appropriate to terminate care?

I hear this question asked over and over again by providers. The answer is - always. It is always appropriate to terminate. The question that should be asked is what are those specifics you are unwilling to tolerate?

Personally, I have terminated a number of children each with their own reason for such a decision. I will terminate children of parents who refuse to follow policies. Knowingly sending a sick child to care, forgetting payment, repeated tardy pick ups, and general disrespect toward me, the children in my care, my family or my home will earn any parent in my care a nicely worded letter encouraging them to find alternate daycare for their child.

I have to spend all day with the children in my care as do the other children. If one child is a constant source of annoyance or frustration I must take the group into consideration and as such I am forced to terminate the source of our daily irritation. The other children in my care, my own children and I all deserve to exist in an environment that is stress-free and conducive to harmony; an ill-behaved or screaming child does not allow for that.

Many providers are wary of terminating a child because they confuse guilt with the fundamental responsibility of their job - to have the ever present care and concern of all the children at the forefront of every daycare decisions.

Daycare providers are business persons. There isn't a single business I can think of that would allow a customer to generate anxiety and tension in its other customers. Why then it is acceptable for one child to provoke these emotions in others in a daycare environment? The short answer is that it's not acceptable. It wasn't acceptable yesterday or the day before that and it certainly is not acceptable today. The other children deserve more.

Termination should not be a dirty word. I am upfront and speak about terminations openly with all my daycare clients. They are made aware that I will willingly terminate them or any other family for the aforementioned infractions. I believe this openness is fundamental to my daycare success. Parents don't contemplate breaking the rules because they understand the fate that violation will bring upon them. It's not complicated. The same parents also feel secure in the fact that my unreserved willingness to terminate will keep the environment pleasant for their child at all times. It's a win-win situation for all.

Allow yourself to feel good about getting out of bed in the morning. Give yourself and the other children in your care the gift of a happy, fun and harmonious atmosphere to learn and play in every day. Terminate those who hamper your efforts at providing a quality experience to all children. And once you hand over that termination letter you know what to say...........

.............NEXT!





For concerns, advice or suggestions I welcome your email at judytrickett@yahoo.ca

Walmart Of The Daycare World

Daycare Providers are caring people. Caring people genuinely want to be helpful, problem solving people. We are in the business of people pleasing. We please our charges when we change their dirty diapers, we please our charges when we fill their bellies with food made with love and care, and we please our charges when we entertain and cuddle them. We spend our days in the business of pleasing others. And, in its essence this is a noble business we have chosen. However, one must remember to be noble and please oneself at times too.

There have been a number of blogs on this the topic of people pleasing but I think today warrants yet another reminder of taking care of the self so you are able to take care of others.

Time and time I again I read forum posts by wonderful providers who bend over backwards to accommodate families in care. The providers offer special services, extended care, and discounted fees to families they assume appreciate such exemplary treatment. I am here to remind you to not be fooled by the anticipation of future reciprocation.

Daycare is a business first and foremost. As is the case with any business we are not in the business of caring for children but in the business of making money. Yes, there are those of you out there that will disagree but I would ask you to ponder the following question:

"Would you work for free tomorrow if I asked you to?"

If the answer to that question was, "No", or, "Well, I can't; I have to pay my mortgage", then you ARE in the business of making money. The very daycare parents that drop off their children each and every morning go off to work to make money and for no other reason so why should you not have the same priorities? Please do not feign martyrdom. Honesty is always appreciated.

Stop being the daycare doormat that parents wipe their feet on twice a day. You are not obligated to offer extended hours, attend birthday parties, or make special lunches for that one prince or princess you might have in care. Sure, you could offer those things if you wish but be smart about it. Charge more for extended hours, decline birthday invitations and tell mom or dad that special lunches will be an additional ten dollars a day. But always realize you can say "NO"!

I have a policy of no favours. Nope, not a one. Long ago I had the misguided notion that daycare families cared for me like I cared for their children. Oh, how wrong I was. I did not recognize my own naivety until I painfully lost a long time family. It was then that I realized that parents always do what is in their best interest with absolutely no regard, at all, for the provider. Why then, do we feel guilt and contrition when we deny requests? Why should we care?

Daycare providers everywhere would be much more successful if they viewed their business model like that of Walmart. If we simply opened up our doors at the posted time, did our jobs all day, accepted payment for that job and then closed our doors we would have no problems at all. Instead we allow ourselves to be manipulated into positions and situations we really don't desire. And every single time we lack the gonads to speak up and begrudge a parent an appeal for additional services it costs us time and money, a little bit of self-worth and a lot of frustration. If we only had the fortitude to stand up and refuse we would find ourselves with fewer situations and headaches.

Start being the Walmart of the daycare world.

My personal rule is that my business stops at the property line. Once a child crosses over the property line of my home they are no longer my responsibility. I do not attend birthday parties, communions, baptisms or any other non-daycare related event. I do not befriend the parents or the children. I simply do my job and that is all. I do no favours and treat everyone equally. I rarely have problems.

Being a daycare provider comes with a tremendous learning curve. We have a delusional rationalization that daycare providers are caregivers first and business woman second. This lopsided thinking needs to stop. We ARE business women - in the business of making money. Nothing more, nothing less. We work, we make money. It is not any different than any other job or career on the planet. Sure, we all work with different things. Some people work with computers, others work with cars. We work with children. But we ALL work to make money.

Start being the Walmart of the daycare world.






For concerns, advice or suggestions I welcome your email at judytrickett@yahoo.ca

Big Old Meanie

I'm mean. There I said it. No doubt I will find a few people who browse this blog to agree with that statement. Now those people have a certifiable reason to hate me. That's okay, as I have said many, many times, "popularity is highly overrated".

I must clarify that I don't really think I am mean. However, when asking the kids in my care you would find that they do in fact think I am mean. And I can only assume their parents, should they be a fly on the wall of my home, would concur with the sentiment of their children. Yes, Judy is mean, mean, mean.

Today I sent a child to time out. Why? Because yesterday I found little itty bitty bits of torn kleenex all over my playroom. I couldn't figure it out for the life of me. Every time I entered the playroom the bits were there. I cleaned them up and amazingly, if I left and returned so did the bits. It was a mystery - until today. Today I see little Johnny pull a travel sized pack of kleenex from his pocket. Of course, being the incredibly smart woman I am I managed to rub two brain cells together and asked little Johnny to hand over that pack of kleenex. Johnny had other ideas.

As is the case in many situations in daycare I ask and then I tell. So, there we were, little Johnny throwing a fit that could rival the best UFC fighter, and myself feeling my blood pressure rise with every kick of his feet. To the crying corner, young man. And you can stay there until you have stopped the nonsense of acting like an animal. Thirty minutes later Johnny was still in that corner. Some people would call that mean. I call that carrying out a promise or, teaching children that their actions have consequences. If you continue to scream and cry then you choose to continue to sit in the crying corner. No loss to me. I still got to play.

One has to wonder however, why it is that Johnny assumes that crying harder and longer will produce a daycare provider with the pack of kleenex. He certainly has not learned that here with big old mean me. Oh, but therein lies the problem! I am the mean guy because I am guessing the entire reason he had the pack of kleenex in his pocket was because mom gave into his crying. I guess mom's not mean. Sigh....when will they learn?

When will we stop being friends with children and instead be the adults they so badly need in their lives? They will have plenty of friends when they are older who will support them in things far worse than kleenex destruction. Their future friends will support them in under aged drinking, drugs, and sex. Where will we be then? I can guarantee that had we been their friend during their childhood we will have absolutely no ability to guide and advise them with any affect when they most need it in their lives. It all starts with the pack of kleenex and the ability to say "No" and be hated momentarily for that two-lettered word.

Yes, I am mean. I am a mean kleenex taking daycare provider. I am the mean lady who sends you to time out when you are disrespectful toward others and yourself. I am the mean lady who realizes it's not really about kleenex. And I'm okay with that.

When little Johnny arrives tomorrow with yet another pack of kleenex I will take it again. And, undoubtedly he will revisit the crying corner. So kick and scream and cry little Johnny. Better to cry now and learn than cry later and pay a price far higher than lost play time.

I'm Judy and I'm mean. I'm okay with that.


For concerns, advice or suggestions I welcome your email at judytrickett@yahoo.ca

Um...WHAT?

It is no secret that health care around the world is in a state of decay. Pharmaceutical companies have created, and push, more drugs than ever in history and doctors are performing more unnecessary procedures each and every day. People go to work coughing and sneezing and sharing their germs like they are a communal share hold and no public health official bothers to inform them otherwise. So, it is no surprise that those in the medical community were involved in the release of a recent article concerning daycare and illness.

The article, Daycares Send Sick Kids Home Too Often: Study, is quite a read. I implore anyone who offers daycare, has a child in daycare, or works in a daycare to read this article. I have no doubt you will sit there in front of your computer screen benumbed at the sheer stupidity of the words your brain has just processed.

Are those doctors in that study smoking crack? Seriously, I have to ask that question. Perhaps they should stop doing personal testing with all those drug company samples the pretty little sales reps leave in their office. I think the cocktail of the newest and greatest might be adversely affecting their reasoning skills.

The doctors argue that children should not be sent home from daycare for common ailments like pink eye, loose bowel movements, fever, colds or ringworm. They claim that the level of contagion has passed before the child is symptomatic. Huh? Okay then.

I do not claim to hold a degree in medicine but there is one thing I am sure of; the longer you are in contact with a contagious person the higher the chances you will contract their illness. It seems to me this line of thinking is rather common sense. When a daycare parent comes to my door to announce they are ill and going home to rest I don't invite them in for tea because they are likely no longer contagious. Hell no! I want them out of my house faster than the door can close. I don't think I know a single person who would want to cozy up with someone who is ill. And that fact brings me to my next point.

What about the children? Does the child want to spend their day in the care of strangers in a daycare setting when they are not feeling well? Does being forced to take a walk, play in the sand box or partake in other normal daycare activities sound like a fun thing to do when they have a fever? According to the doctors in the study Little Tommy should be just fine to stay the course of the day. I have to ask - did anyone ask TOMMY? No, of course not, that would be crazy!

Who amongst we adults would willingly go to work with a fever and the runs? Who does that? Hell, I have parents who send their kids to daycare while ill and then go home themselves to rest and recuperate from the exact same illness. I swear, people don't get it. Hell, I don't get it. It seems like a pretty big double standard to me.

However, the icing on the cake is this line from the article:

What's more, he notes, asking parents to leave or skip work to care for their children at home can be burdensome to parents, particularly those who are paid by the hour.

Burdensome? Burdensome? Are these doctors kidding? Hey, doctors - newsflash - EVERYTHING about having kids is burdensome! They depend on us for their very existence. If you didn't know that before you had them you got a rude awakening the first night that you were up feeding that little burden every third hour. And when did another parent's "burden" become another child's "burden"? Why should little Johnny become ill because Suzie was too "burdensome" for her parents to come take her feverish little diarrhea butt home? And furthermore, why is it the job of the daycare provider to care for a sick child? Do we not have other things to do like...oh...um....caring for the other children?

And what about the provider when she gets sick? This of course is inevitable if every child were allowed to stay in care while ill. Oh, no, we can't have the provider taking time off. What then would happen to the parent who, "has no backup day care, a job that does not provide paid sick leave"?

Sorry, docs but this "study" is so flawed on so many levels I want to ask what medical schools you graduated from. Because I honestly worry about someone caring for my health who can not even muster enough logic to see the holes in this theory. Hell, even we lowly daycare providers and now, nurses, can see that none of what you cite makes an ounce of sense.

Here's a tip......why don't you go back to your office and keep pushing those pills and procedures. And when little Johnny comes to you with double-barrelled snot and gunk coming out of both eyes why don't YOU take him home to play with YOUR kids? No problem, he's past contagion anyway.




For concerns, advice or suggestions I welcome your email at judytrickett@yahoo.ca

Monday, Monday

The seven days of the week should be renamed. Perhaps instead of Monday, the second day of the week should be called Retraining Day. Of course, being the lazy society we are and for those whose thumbs can move faster while texting than their running feet we could shorten Retraining Day to RD. RD would be duly crowned as the first day of the work week.

Retraining Day is not new to the home daycare provider. One can only assume other industry professionals such as teachers, and daycare centre employees are also familiar with Retraining Day. For it is on Monday of every week that we find ourselves retraining each and every child and parent that steps in our front door during those early morning hours.

I am quite certain that something terrible must be happening in the environment of these childrens' homes. There could be no other answer other than some sort of brain cell depleting mist being emitted in their homes. What else could account for the fact that every single Monday they appear to have forgotten that my house has a certain set of fair and reasonable rules.

Just as when you left care of Friday the rule still stands that you are not allowed to jump on my furniture. Maybe mommy and daddy allow you to use their living room like a trampoline wonderland but I will not. So, little Johnny, get the hell off my couch!

And did daycare mom forget there is a carpet located on the floor in my foyer? Or did she just assume I have nothing to do all day but clean up the tile that she seems to think it okay to step on? Was the sixteen square feet of space not enough to undress and say good-bye to your four year old? Oh, but then again, when your four year old lays down on the floor for you to remove the clothing they are perfectly capable of removing themselves I guess you DO need additional room. Apparently you and your child require some retraining. Mom needs to retrain in what is developmentally appropriate for a four year old and little Suzie needs to retrain in pulling apart the velcro that sits atop her foot.

And please, little Timmy do NOT ask me, as you have for the past fifty-two Mondays, if you can have hotdogs for lunch. We did not have hotdogs on Friday, or Thursday or the day before that so stop freaking asking me for mystery meat logs. I am not your mommy and regardless of how many times you ask or whine lunch will not consist of bun-encased lips and assholes. Now, go back and play because I am no longer listening to you.

And retrainees.........the crying corner is STILL there. It did not disappear over the weekend. In fact, it is sort of pivotal to the structure of my home so simply trust in its ever present existence. And yes, if you continue to whine and resist retraining you will become reacquainted with that corner the better part of Monday.

Oh, and one more thing; what the hell did you eat over the weekend? Because the consistency of the crap that fills your diaper and the nostrils of everyone in a five mile radius is more than I can handle. I see no undigested peas, or corn or beans like I do when you eat here all week. Now all I see is liquid mush that could easily challenge the odor rating of most manure lagoons of the Midwestern United Sates. You are disgusting.


Mondays......who needs them?





For concerns, advice or suggestions I welcome your email at judytrickett@yahoo.ca