THE CONTRACT
The number one rule of home daycare - have a contract. In this day and age you simply can not operate without a contract. Contracts set out clear expectations that must be followed to ensure your needs are met and that you, as a provider, are getting what you deserve.
The biggest mistake by providers is not enforcing their contract. It is all well and good to have a contract. It's even better to have an iron clad contract ten pages long and covering every imaginable scenario. However, if you fail to enforce the contract you might as well operate without one. The contract must be enforced at all times. Allowing even the simplest contractual obligation to be violated sets the provider up for problems. Parents assume that if they are permitted to violate the contract even once they are then given permission to disregard it all together. Enforce the contract.
What should a contract include? That answer depends on what it is that, you, as the provider, want and need from both the children in your care and their parents. You have to decide what it is you simply will or will not tolerate and put emphasis on those aspects of your contract.
At the very least a good contract should cover the following items:
Hours - clearly stated open and close hours or contracted hours are essential. Without clear expectations concerning the hours of care other aspects of your contract such as fees and late policies will be redundant and impossible to enforce.
Fees - fees must be clear. It must be set out in such a manner that all fees within your care are not negotiable.
Payment - always have parents pay in advance for care. Never, ever risk working for free. Contracts should have a section wherein payment is discussed. Always require payment to be made on the first care day of the week or month for THAT week or month coming up. Please be clear that failure to pay will result in no care being made available. Never work for free!
It should also be stated that payment is due for ever day regardless of attendance. Make it clear that paying for daycare is about paying for the availability of a spot being held for a child and not the actual days used.
Holiday and Statutory Pay - always require payment on all civic and statutory holidays. However, to save yourself the hassle of a sneaky, loop-hole looking parent, simply list the days you will be closed with pay and leave it at that. Do not label them as a 'holiday'. Simply state, for example that December 25th is a paid day off. All parent whose child would normally attend on the day a holiday falls will pay full fees for that day. Also, include in your contract that if a holiday falls on a Saturday or Sunday either the Friday or Monday will be taken as a paid day off in lieu of the holiday. Most of your daycare parents are getting these paid days off and so should you.
Illness Policy - your daycare should be known as a well-child facility. Every contract should clearly state that children will not be allowed into care while ill. Be VERY specific with illness policies. List every single communicable illness as exclusion from care. If you are not sure which illnesses are included visit the website of your local public health unit. All children should also be excluded from care for 24 hours should they have vomited, had diarrhea or a fever. Also, ensure you have a section that addresses any sneaky parents who chose to violate your contract by medicating their children and masking symptoms. Make it straightforward that any child who is sent to care in direct violation of the illness policy will be promptly terminated. Your contract should demonstrate that there will be no mercy or second chances given to children who are sent to daycare sick. Last but not least, have this one line in your contract that is a catch all for everything and allows, you, the provider to always have the final say:
"The final decision as to the care of any child will be left to the discretion of the provider"
Nap Time - often the thorn in the side of many daycare providers is nap time. I often hear of providers who work ten or more hours without a break because a child will not sleep or a parent has requested a child not nap. Your contract has the ultimate power to provide you with a break during the day and happy, rested kids in the afternoon. "Nap time is mandatory and required by ALL children to ensure continued care". That's all you have to say. Enough said. Now, make sure you enforce it.
Termination - two weeks notice seems to be the industry standard but in my opinion this is not enough. I often hear of providers who receive notice but are shorted on pay. Remember this and remember it forever - you are only of value to a parent as a daycare provider until they no longer need you! Once you are no longer needed there is no incentive for a parent to pay you and thus maintain an amicable relationship with you. For that reason all providers need to amend their contracts with regard to two week's notice. Notice does not pay the bills; money does. Therefore from hereon in state in your contract that as soon as either the provider or parent gives notice of termination of services then two weeks FEES are due and payable right then and there to ensure even one more day of care. Remember, money talks; everything else are just words. Also, make it known that in the case of termination NO fees paid will be refunded.
Probationary Period - oh, how often I have been forever thankful for the probationary period. This clause of the contract essentially allows both the parents and provider to walk away from the contract and daycare relationship within the first three weeks without notice. Every provider needs to include this clause. Never again will you have to listen to, and then feel guilty for terminating a child who has done nothing but scream non-stop for the first two weeks. Simply invoke the probationary clause, bid them farewell, go visit the liquor store and then sit on your patio and thank the heavens above that you included that clause.
Have a contract. Enforce that contract. Live happily and stress-free. That's all that is required.
If anyone wishes to view a copy of my contract you may contact me directly. I am always happy to share and help other providers develop into mean, lean, daycare business machines!
Monday - Back To Basics #3 - The Interview
For concerns, advice or suggestions I welcome your email at judytrickett@yahoo.ca
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Back To Basics #1
ADVERTISING
The first point of contact with any parent is the avenue in which they discover your existence. Generally speaking this happens in a few different manners:
Word of Mouth
Word of Mouth is the best source of advertising. First of all, it costs nothing, and second, if a parent is recommending your services to another parent you know they are singing your praises. Every provider strives to one day never have to advertise and depend on word of mouth alone to fill any available spot they might have as well as a lengthy, quality wait list.
When you receive an inquiry of Word of Mouth always thank them for calling and then say a positive thing or two about the person from whom the referral came. It is not only polite to reciprocate the positive words of another but it sets the tone that you too, are kind and polite and quick to point out another's strengths. People like this. It makes you appear amicable and every parent wants an amicable provider.
Business Cards
Every provider should have business cards. If you do not have cards then you should get them now. Go and pay a visit to my friends at Vista Print (http://www.vistaprint.com/ or http://www.vistaprint.ca/) and order some of their low cost, but very effective business cards.
Business cards should be clear and concise. Place only the necessary information on the cards. Cutsie phrases are not necessary and distract from the important information. If you have a logo (we will discuss logos a little later) include it on the card. Under your name always place the title Daycare Provider; nothing more, nothing less. Those two words under your name signify that you are a professional and demand to be respected as one.
Marketing studies show white business cards to be more effective than any other colour. I would have to agree.
Online Classifieds
There are a number of online classified that are free and user-friendly. When advertising on these sites it is important to give as little information as possible. Always state only that information that is required to complete any one form. These free sites rely solely on the advertising you see in its margins as income. Therefore, these sites rarely allow you enough room to fully sing your praises and truly market yourself. The intent should be to drive traffic to your website which is YOUR territory. Always include your website address wherever possible when advertising on free online classifieds. Do not write a book about yourself on classifieds - that is the entire purpose of your website.
As always, ensure that your spelling, sentence structure and grammar are spot on. Nothing deters a potential client more than bad form.
Website Search
It is amazing to me that "Google" which was previously a noun has stepped up the ranks to become a verb. Is there anyone on the planet who has not used the word "googled"? People use search engines such as Google to seek out specific daycare and needs. If you don't have a website then you are missing out on a huge part of the marketing prospects you could be luring in via your website.
Websites are a necessity. If you don't have one get one today. Once again, go visit my good friends at FreeWebs (http://www.freewebs.com/). FreeWebs has FREE hosting and easy to manage sites you can make up yourself. If you can use the Internet you can develop a site through them. Do it today.
Your website is often your prospective client's first contact with you. Your site should be easy to read, have content in logical sequence and grammatically correct. Your site should allow parents to shop without bothering you. Fees, hours, philosophy, and contact information should be included.
I stated above we would talk about logos. You should have a logo. Choose something that signifies who you are. Your logo should appear on every single daycare related piece of advertising you present to the world. Download it to Craigslist and Kijiji ads, business cards and most certainly, your website. Logos make your marketing materials appear more professional.
If you have the financial ability skip the 'free' part of FreeWebs and pay for their extended hosting package. This allows you to have a domain name and be free of advertising on your site.
Online Daycare Databases
Much like free online classifieds online daycare databases (like http://www.daycarebear.com/ or http://www.daycarebear.ca/) exist solely for the purpose of making money from advertising. Again, as stated in the free classifieds paragraph above, complete only the forms and parameters you are required to. The intent is to drive traffic to your website wherein you can really sell yourself.
When using online daycare databases always turn off the reviews option. Never, ever allow anyone the ability to review your daycare without your knowing. Leaving an open review area is daycare suicide should any parent suddenly become disgruntled.
Tomorrows post - Back To Basics #2 - The Contract
For concerns, advice or suggestions I welcome your email at judytrickett@yahoo.ca
The first point of contact with any parent is the avenue in which they discover your existence. Generally speaking this happens in a few different manners:
- word of mouth
- business cards
- online classified
- website search
- online daycare database
Word of Mouth
Word of Mouth is the best source of advertising. First of all, it costs nothing, and second, if a parent is recommending your services to another parent you know they are singing your praises. Every provider strives to one day never have to advertise and depend on word of mouth alone to fill any available spot they might have as well as a lengthy, quality wait list.
When you receive an inquiry of Word of Mouth always thank them for calling and then say a positive thing or two about the person from whom the referral came. It is not only polite to reciprocate the positive words of another but it sets the tone that you too, are kind and polite and quick to point out another's strengths. People like this. It makes you appear amicable and every parent wants an amicable provider.
Business Cards
Every provider should have business cards. If you do not have cards then you should get them now. Go and pay a visit to my friends at Vista Print (http://www.vistaprint.com/ or http://www.vistaprint.ca/) and order some of their low cost, but very effective business cards.
Business cards should be clear and concise. Place only the necessary information on the cards. Cutsie phrases are not necessary and distract from the important information. If you have a logo (we will discuss logos a little later) include it on the card. Under your name always place the title Daycare Provider; nothing more, nothing less. Those two words under your name signify that you are a professional and demand to be respected as one.
Marketing studies show white business cards to be more effective than any other colour. I would have to agree.
Online Classifieds
There are a number of online classified that are free and user-friendly. When advertising on these sites it is important to give as little information as possible. Always state only that information that is required to complete any one form. These free sites rely solely on the advertising you see in its margins as income. Therefore, these sites rarely allow you enough room to fully sing your praises and truly market yourself. The intent should be to drive traffic to your website which is YOUR territory. Always include your website address wherever possible when advertising on free online classifieds. Do not write a book about yourself on classifieds - that is the entire purpose of your website.
As always, ensure that your spelling, sentence structure and grammar are spot on. Nothing deters a potential client more than bad form.
Website Search
It is amazing to me that "Google" which was previously a noun has stepped up the ranks to become a verb. Is there anyone on the planet who has not used the word "googled"? People use search engines such as Google to seek out specific daycare and needs. If you don't have a website then you are missing out on a huge part of the marketing prospects you could be luring in via your website.
Websites are a necessity. If you don't have one get one today. Once again, go visit my good friends at FreeWebs (http://www.freewebs.com/). FreeWebs has FREE hosting and easy to manage sites you can make up yourself. If you can use the Internet you can develop a site through them. Do it today.
Your website is often your prospective client's first contact with you. Your site should be easy to read, have content in logical sequence and grammatically correct. Your site should allow parents to shop without bothering you. Fees, hours, philosophy, and contact information should be included.
I stated above we would talk about logos. You should have a logo. Choose something that signifies who you are. Your logo should appear on every single daycare related piece of advertising you present to the world. Download it to Craigslist and Kijiji ads, business cards and most certainly, your website. Logos make your marketing materials appear more professional.
If you have the financial ability skip the 'free' part of FreeWebs and pay for their extended hosting package. This allows you to have a domain name and be free of advertising on your site.
Online Daycare Databases
Much like free online classifieds online daycare databases (like http://www.daycarebear.com/ or http://www.daycarebear.ca/) exist solely for the purpose of making money from advertising. Again, as stated in the free classifieds paragraph above, complete only the forms and parameters you are required to. The intent is to drive traffic to your website wherein you can really sell yourself.
When using online daycare databases always turn off the reviews option. Never, ever allow anyone the ability to review your daycare without your knowing. Leaving an open review area is daycare suicide should any parent suddenly become disgruntled.
Tomorrows post - Back To Basics #2 - The Contract
For concerns, advice or suggestions I welcome your email at judytrickett@yahoo.ca
Back To Basics
It has occurred to me after reading a number of forum posts both on the Daycare Provider Connection and other message boards that there are a number of newbies and seasoned providers alike who are missing the boat on the most fundamental daycare know-how. Every time I see a forum post of a provider asking the same question that has been addressed a thousand times before I shudder just a little. It is not the question that causes my immediate dismay but the answers that often follow.
I do not profess to know it all. There is plenty in life that is yet to be learned. But there is one thing I DO know - how to run the business side of daycare. Parents follow my policies. Parents in my care do not send sick children. Parents in my care do not arrive early or pick up late. Parents in my care do not "forget" payment. Parents in my care do not feel free to deduct payment from a cheque because their child missed a day the previous week. In short, parents would not dare to do such things because they understand that I am running a business. It is not by chance that the parents have come to realize the necessity of following policies. I am solely responsible for their towing the line. I have instilled this sense of responsibility in them. And, just as I claim responsibility for having zero problems on the business side of daycare I too, must claim responsibility should a problem ever crop up. For it is the business OWNER who allows such things to happen. Clients (and people in general) will only take advantage of you if you allow it.
I will share with you how I do it - from start to finish - from advertising for that open spot to signing on and keeping a family in care.
And with that I want to introduce the next series of blog entries - Back To Basics.
For concerns, advice or suggestions I welcome your email at judytrickett@yahoo.ca
I do not profess to know it all. There is plenty in life that is yet to be learned. But there is one thing I DO know - how to run the business side of daycare. Parents follow my policies. Parents in my care do not send sick children. Parents in my care do not arrive early or pick up late. Parents in my care do not "forget" payment. Parents in my care do not feel free to deduct payment from a cheque because their child missed a day the previous week. In short, parents would not dare to do such things because they understand that I am running a business. It is not by chance that the parents have come to realize the necessity of following policies. I am solely responsible for their towing the line. I have instilled this sense of responsibility in them. And, just as I claim responsibility for having zero problems on the business side of daycare I too, must claim responsibility should a problem ever crop up. For it is the business OWNER who allows such things to happen. Clients (and people in general) will only take advantage of you if you allow it.
I will share with you how I do it - from start to finish - from advertising for that open spot to signing on and keeping a family in care.
And with that I want to introduce the next series of blog entries - Back To Basics.
For concerns, advice or suggestions I welcome your email at judytrickett@yahoo.ca
Monday, June 7, 2010
Double Standards
I'm getting used to taking flack. My email account is full of parents who, in so many words, love to hate me. That's okay. I like to remember that sticks and stones are the only thing that really hurt me. I tell it like it is and I won't apologize for it. But I do think there is a huge double standard that exists between my honest views as presented in this blog and the comments left by parents.
I believe every job has aspects that well......plain old suck. Everyone has a co-worker or boss that is rude, inconsiderate or hateful. We've all been there. The only difference is that having co-workers in close proximity to a desk or workspace offers a sounding board to vent frustrations with fellow employees. The water cooler is more than a place to wet your whistle; it's a therapeutic area where grievances are aired and high fives are distributed in abundance.
This is my water cooler.
I'm an Internet junkie. The information superhighway can find me driving along it at warp speed whenever I get the chance. And no doubt, the blog comments will fly in about that too - "what are the kids doing while you surf the Internet all day long"? I could address that but we'll leave that for another day so parents everywhere can space out their negative comments. Being an forum surfer means that I frequently lurk different types of sites - blogs, writing forums, daycare forums and of course, the creme de la creme of my material - parenting forums.
It's funny that most of the comments I receive come from parents who accuse me of being vengeful, harsh and, my favourite, a child-hater. What is ironic about the sentiment of most parents toward me is that a lot of the fodder for this blogs comes from parents on parenting sites.
I encourage any provider or parent alike to visit a few popular parenting sites and read just what they think of their daycare provider. It's astounding. They post a blatant disregard and even hatefulness toward the very person that cares for their precious child. They complain about having to pay the provider when their child is out sick. They complain that their provider takes too much time off when she asks for a mere two weeks vacation a year. They claim daycare is too expensive and the provider charges too much. They complain about having to pay late fees when their provider has worked a ten hour day and they show up half an hour late. They complain, complain, complain.
Don't believe me?
www.dcurbanmom.com
www.todaysparent.com
www.canadianparents.com
Those are just a few of the many, many parenting forums out there that regularly contain threads berating their daycare provider.
It seems there is a double standard in the world of daycare. Only parents are allowed to point out the perceived deficiencies of the home daycare provider. Providers, on the other hand are not allowed, under any circumstances, to complain or tell the truth. Providers are supposed to roll over, take what is doled out to them all the while sitting there on their eleventh working hour waiting for some parent to get off their bitchfest post on a forum to come pick up their child on their day off. Nope, no complaining allowed.
I don't sugar coat. It's impossible to make some things sugary sweet regardless of how much sugar you toss into the bowl. Besides, why should I? It seems there is no sugar coating in the secret competition of how much I hate my daycare provider.
Sure, there are great parents out there who would never think to do this. I know, I have many of them. And to those few great parents who take the time to read this blog I commend you. You are diamonds in a coal mine. And, just as there are providers who will willingly sit there waiting on a parent who does not have the consideration to show up on time, pay on time, or demonstrate an ounce of respect there are providers like ME who refuse to work with such parents and will take my own time and resources to post blogs about them.
The blogs I compose are rarely personal. Instead they reflect a situation I know another provider is facing or I have read on a forum on that Internet superhighway.
It is my intent to make the world of daycare transparent. No secrets, no hidden animosity. Everything is out in the open. Every one knows where they stand.
I DO tell my parents how I feel about their lack of judgement regarding the policy or contract. I am open and honest and never hide my true feelings. I have great business relationships with every parent of every child in my care.
Parents who have children in daycare: Every daycare parent knows where they stand with me because I make it a point to tell them. Do you offer your daycare provider the same courtesy? Or do you hide behind usernames on forums hoping you can silently harbour your resentment but smile at your provider while you are in the same room?
If so, I ask you to question who is really the bitter one?
For concerns, advice or suggestions I welcome your email at judytrickett@yahoo.ca
I believe every job has aspects that well......plain old suck. Everyone has a co-worker or boss that is rude, inconsiderate or hateful. We've all been there. The only difference is that having co-workers in close proximity to a desk or workspace offers a sounding board to vent frustrations with fellow employees. The water cooler is more than a place to wet your whistle; it's a therapeutic area where grievances are aired and high fives are distributed in abundance.
This is my water cooler.
I'm an Internet junkie. The information superhighway can find me driving along it at warp speed whenever I get the chance. And no doubt, the blog comments will fly in about that too - "what are the kids doing while you surf the Internet all day long"? I could address that but we'll leave that for another day so parents everywhere can space out their negative comments. Being an forum surfer means that I frequently lurk different types of sites - blogs, writing forums, daycare forums and of course, the creme de la creme of my material - parenting forums.
It's funny that most of the comments I receive come from parents who accuse me of being vengeful, harsh and, my favourite, a child-hater. What is ironic about the sentiment of most parents toward me is that a lot of the fodder for this blogs comes from parents on parenting sites.
I encourage any provider or parent alike to visit a few popular parenting sites and read just what they think of their daycare provider. It's astounding. They post a blatant disregard and even hatefulness toward the very person that cares for their precious child. They complain about having to pay the provider when their child is out sick. They complain that their provider takes too much time off when she asks for a mere two weeks vacation a year. They claim daycare is too expensive and the provider charges too much. They complain about having to pay late fees when their provider has worked a ten hour day and they show up half an hour late. They complain, complain, complain.
Don't believe me?
www.dcurbanmom.com
www.todaysparent.com
www.canadianparents.com
Those are just a few of the many, many parenting forums out there that regularly contain threads berating their daycare provider.
It seems there is a double standard in the world of daycare. Only parents are allowed to point out the perceived deficiencies of the home daycare provider. Providers, on the other hand are not allowed, under any circumstances, to complain or tell the truth. Providers are supposed to roll over, take what is doled out to them all the while sitting there on their eleventh working hour waiting for some parent to get off their bitchfest post on a forum to come pick up their child on their day off. Nope, no complaining allowed.
I don't sugar coat. It's impossible to make some things sugary sweet regardless of how much sugar you toss into the bowl. Besides, why should I? It seems there is no sugar coating in the secret competition of how much I hate my daycare provider.
Sure, there are great parents out there who would never think to do this. I know, I have many of them. And to those few great parents who take the time to read this blog I commend you. You are diamonds in a coal mine. And, just as there are providers who will willingly sit there waiting on a parent who does not have the consideration to show up on time, pay on time, or demonstrate an ounce of respect there are providers like ME who refuse to work with such parents and will take my own time and resources to post blogs about them.
The blogs I compose are rarely personal. Instead they reflect a situation I know another provider is facing or I have read on a forum on that Internet superhighway.
It is my intent to make the world of daycare transparent. No secrets, no hidden animosity. Everything is out in the open. Every one knows where they stand.
I DO tell my parents how I feel about their lack of judgement regarding the policy or contract. I am open and honest and never hide my true feelings. I have great business relationships with every parent of every child in my care.
Parents who have children in daycare: Every daycare parent knows where they stand with me because I make it a point to tell them. Do you offer your daycare provider the same courtesy? Or do you hide behind usernames on forums hoping you can silently harbour your resentment but smile at your provider while you are in the same room?
If so, I ask you to question who is really the bitter one?
For concerns, advice or suggestions I welcome your email at judytrickett@yahoo.ca
Thursday, June 3, 2010
There Is No ASS In Assertive
Why do providers confuse assertiveness with being an ass? Why do we assume that we are not worthy of asking for what is fair to us? Just because we care for children does not mean we have to be push overs that take whatever is doled out.
Providers are business women - do not forget it.
Everything in life is about psychology. All dealings with other people and the outcome of those conversations is soundly based on human psychology. I think any business person, in any business, could do themselves a favour brushing up on some basic psychology information. Having a working knowledge of psychology can assist you in not only reading people but forecasting their response.
I am assertive person. I don't think there is a single long time blog reader that doesn't already know this about me. I am also an aware assertive person. I am always reading those around me. Within a few minutes of meeting someone I can usually gauge their personality type. I know if they are meek, vulnerable, naive, aggressive, or assertive. And I use these findings as tools in my approach to dealing with that person.
My first rule of thumb is to never, ever, accept a family into care if one or both of the parents are as aggressive or assertive or more aggressive or assertive than I am. I will freely admit that I haven't come across a lot of those people. But they do exist. I know that given my limits and working with someone whom I know I will butt heads with is a poor business decision. They might be great parents but if I foresee a clash of interpersonal skills it will never work.
I never accept anyone who is so accustomed to hearing "Yes" that they no longer hold the ability to accept "No".
Therefore, every family I accept into care has more prevalent personality traits of easy-going people. These are people who are generally used to having and following a set of predetermined rules and obligations throughout the rest of their life. Generally speaking these are people who work for an employer not in top management spots. They simply show up for work, do their job, get paid and go home.
I chose these people because I can assert myself with them and have little if no conflict. It is not a matter of wanting to control the weak or less assertive - it is a matter of wanting a drama free business wherein I can concentrate on the kids and not the personal misgivings of the parent. It's sound business methodology.
When the occasional disagreement or misunderstanding occurs with a parent I am forthright and honest. I do not mince words. I tell them what I do not want and what I expect. I don't beat around the bush or leave the parent to translate my desires. Leaving anything to translation will always result in future problems. Everyone speaks the same language in my care.
As providers we need to start being more assertive. There is no shame is asking for and demanding what it is you need and want to run a successful daycare. Everyone wins when the provider is happy and content. Everyone gains from a stress-free, conflict-free environment.
Stop beating around the bush with parents. Start asserting yourself. Don't ask - tell. Don't take less than you are worth. Don't be told how to run YOUR business. And please, stop apologizing. Never again do I ever want to hear of a provider uttering any apologetic words for needing to take a day off or a vacation. Never again do I want a provider feeling guilty for taking a sick day when the double-barrelled snot-ridden kid showed up for care the last four days. Never again.
People treat you in the manner in which you accept being treated. If you want a simpler, more understandable explanation of that sentence look at the children in your care. How many of them behave while with you but turn into demon spawn the moment their parents appear? YOU taught them how you will accept being treated; their parents have not. And in return those parents are treated like crap by the very children they brought into this world. Stop allowing the parents to deflect that treatment on to you.
You are only treated unfairly and with disrespect if you allow it. You attract that treatment. You have only yourself to blame. Going back to the Alpha Dogs sentiment psychology clearly dictates that as animals we will always take advantage of the weak should our personalities dictate. Stop being the runt of the litter. Demand more. Only you have the power to do that.
Sometimes being assertive does mean being the ASS. Once you get better at asking for what you deserve and need the ASS in assertiveness will lessen as you become more savvy in your delivery. Don't be surprised if old relations become defensive with your personality change. And for those who don't take kindly to your new found assertiveness............
........................NEXT!
For concerns, advice or suggestions I welcome your email at judytrickett@yahoo.ca
Providers are business women - do not forget it.
Everything in life is about psychology. All dealings with other people and the outcome of those conversations is soundly based on human psychology. I think any business person, in any business, could do themselves a favour brushing up on some basic psychology information. Having a working knowledge of psychology can assist you in not only reading people but forecasting their response.
I am assertive person. I don't think there is a single long time blog reader that doesn't already know this about me. I am also an aware assertive person. I am always reading those around me. Within a few minutes of meeting someone I can usually gauge their personality type. I know if they are meek, vulnerable, naive, aggressive, or assertive. And I use these findings as tools in my approach to dealing with that person.
My first rule of thumb is to never, ever, accept a family into care if one or both of the parents are as aggressive or assertive or more aggressive or assertive than I am. I will freely admit that I haven't come across a lot of those people. But they do exist. I know that given my limits and working with someone whom I know I will butt heads with is a poor business decision. They might be great parents but if I foresee a clash of interpersonal skills it will never work.
I never accept anyone who is so accustomed to hearing "Yes" that they no longer hold the ability to accept "No".
Therefore, every family I accept into care has more prevalent personality traits of easy-going people. These are people who are generally used to having and following a set of predetermined rules and obligations throughout the rest of their life. Generally speaking these are people who work for an employer not in top management spots. They simply show up for work, do their job, get paid and go home.
I chose these people because I can assert myself with them and have little if no conflict. It is not a matter of wanting to control the weak or less assertive - it is a matter of wanting a drama free business wherein I can concentrate on the kids and not the personal misgivings of the parent. It's sound business methodology.
When the occasional disagreement or misunderstanding occurs with a parent I am forthright and honest. I do not mince words. I tell them what I do not want and what I expect. I don't beat around the bush or leave the parent to translate my desires. Leaving anything to translation will always result in future problems. Everyone speaks the same language in my care.
As providers we need to start being more assertive. There is no shame is asking for and demanding what it is you need and want to run a successful daycare. Everyone wins when the provider is happy and content. Everyone gains from a stress-free, conflict-free environment.
Stop beating around the bush with parents. Start asserting yourself. Don't ask - tell. Don't take less than you are worth. Don't be told how to run YOUR business. And please, stop apologizing. Never again do I ever want to hear of a provider uttering any apologetic words for needing to take a day off or a vacation. Never again do I want a provider feeling guilty for taking a sick day when the double-barrelled snot-ridden kid showed up for care the last four days. Never again.
People treat you in the manner in which you accept being treated. If you want a simpler, more understandable explanation of that sentence look at the children in your care. How many of them behave while with you but turn into demon spawn the moment their parents appear? YOU taught them how you will accept being treated; their parents have not. And in return those parents are treated like crap by the very children they brought into this world. Stop allowing the parents to deflect that treatment on to you.
You are only treated unfairly and with disrespect if you allow it. You attract that treatment. You have only yourself to blame. Going back to the Alpha Dogs sentiment psychology clearly dictates that as animals we will always take advantage of the weak should our personalities dictate. Stop being the runt of the litter. Demand more. Only you have the power to do that.
Sometimes being assertive does mean being the ASS. Once you get better at asking for what you deserve and need the ASS in assertiveness will lessen as you become more savvy in your delivery. Don't be surprised if old relations become defensive with your personality change. And for those who don't take kindly to your new found assertiveness............
........................NEXT!
For concerns, advice or suggestions I welcome your email at judytrickett@yahoo.ca
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Alpha Dogs
Discipline. Why is this such a dirty word? What happened to the pride we used to feel in having self-proclaimed disciplined children?
Today I read a forum post that made me shake my head. It appears that by today's standards we are regarded as harsh and jagged should we exert any form of discipline on a child. It's the era of friendly parenting. The oak switch was initially replaced with the hand-on-behind technique which evolved into the gentle parenting method and now, in 2010 we have arrived at a method of friendly accord. We are afraid that if we do anything to jeopardize the friendship we have with any child they might not like or love us. I say, let their fellow four year olds be their friends - your job is to be their discipline guide.
My sister had a great saying, "I love you enough for you to hate me sometimes". In my opinion that could be the motto for all parents everywhere. We are not here to befriend our children. We are here to ensure they are raised in a manner that fosters adults with empathy, compassion and a general sense of doing the right thing.
The popular notion today is to give a child a time out. As a wise forum member pointed out today, time outs are not effective. And you know what? That forum member was on the money. Time outs are ineffective. As is the rule in any civilized society the price for any infraction against another must take away a right or privilege. I scarcely see how a mere three minutes in the bottom step of the stairs violates any rights of a child. A child is more apt to sit and play with their feet than to reflect on the reason for the time out. Time outs are useless and the biggest scam in parenting. The kids know it; it's time we did too.
A popular objection in the above mentioned forum thread regarded discipline of children as compared to the Alpha hierarchy of the animal kingdom. It seems many parents and daycare providers are appalled at the comparison of children to dogs. Perhaps they should get reacquainted with grade seven science. We are animals. We might wear clothes and drive cars but at the base of all human existence remains one fact - we are animals.
And so it is that yes, I do discipline the children in my care much like I do my dog. Taken out of context that seems a negative and insolent view point. However, I am proud to tell others I treat both my dog and the children in my charge with the same discipline technique. Plain and simple - it works. I am known in our daycare pack as the Alpha dog. I do not bow down to either my dog or the children in my care. And in return they respect both my place and theirs in the hierarchy of things. I make the rules and they follow them. Their job is to play and mind the requests of the Alpha dog. It's not complicated.
People always ask how it is that I can take the daycare children out into the world without incidents of tantrums and social unrest within the group. While out on field trips older people always comment on what a well behaved group I have. And every time I tell them that it does not come by chance. And that response is usually met with a wink and a nod and some encouragement that my methods demonstrate their effectiveness in the polite, well-mannered children in tow.
In society bad behaviour by adults leads to banishment from the general population. I think children need to feel this effect early on in life. Always better to teach lessons correctly while young than relearning the same lessons later in life when second chances are no longer available.
We have a banishment area in my daycare. It's called the crying corner. The only reason a child visits the crying corner is if they are crying out of manipulation or when caught violating the rules to which they assume, wrongly, that crying will gain them comfort and support. A child learns early on that banishment isn't fun. The crying corner is no regular time out spot. The crying corner is located in a quiet, dark corner situated behind many other corners. Once in the crying corner the offender can not see or hear the other children. In short, they are isolated.
It's not callous to discipline children with real punishment and consequence. If anything I believe it is favourable to all children to pay for their crimes. It teaches them early on that life rewards good citizens and confines those who don't play by the rules. It's a game of life learned early.
I love them enough for them to hate me sometimes. I love them enough for other parents and blog commenters to hate me sometimes. I love them enough to not care what opinions others form of me.
As for my dog? She is the best behaved animal I know. I love her with every fiber of my heart. Any daycare child who is treated with the same discipline and respect as my dog should consider themselves loved and appreciated.
And that's the way it is. The Alpha dog has spoken.
For concerns, advice or suggestions I welcome your email at judytrickett@yahoo.ca
Today I read a forum post that made me shake my head. It appears that by today's standards we are regarded as harsh and jagged should we exert any form of discipline on a child. It's the era of friendly parenting. The oak switch was initially replaced with the hand-on-behind technique which evolved into the gentle parenting method and now, in 2010 we have arrived at a method of friendly accord. We are afraid that if we do anything to jeopardize the friendship we have with any child they might not like or love us. I say, let their fellow four year olds be their friends - your job is to be their discipline guide.
My sister had a great saying, "I love you enough for you to hate me sometimes". In my opinion that could be the motto for all parents everywhere. We are not here to befriend our children. We are here to ensure they are raised in a manner that fosters adults with empathy, compassion and a general sense of doing the right thing.
The popular notion today is to give a child a time out. As a wise forum member pointed out today, time outs are not effective. And you know what? That forum member was on the money. Time outs are ineffective. As is the rule in any civilized society the price for any infraction against another must take away a right or privilege. I scarcely see how a mere three minutes in the bottom step of the stairs violates any rights of a child. A child is more apt to sit and play with their feet than to reflect on the reason for the time out. Time outs are useless and the biggest scam in parenting. The kids know it; it's time we did too.
A popular objection in the above mentioned forum thread regarded discipline of children as compared to the Alpha hierarchy of the animal kingdom. It seems many parents and daycare providers are appalled at the comparison of children to dogs. Perhaps they should get reacquainted with grade seven science. We are animals. We might wear clothes and drive cars but at the base of all human existence remains one fact - we are animals.
And so it is that yes, I do discipline the children in my care much like I do my dog. Taken out of context that seems a negative and insolent view point. However, I am proud to tell others I treat both my dog and the children in my charge with the same discipline technique. Plain and simple - it works. I am known in our daycare pack as the Alpha dog. I do not bow down to either my dog or the children in my care. And in return they respect both my place and theirs in the hierarchy of things. I make the rules and they follow them. Their job is to play and mind the requests of the Alpha dog. It's not complicated.
People always ask how it is that I can take the daycare children out into the world without incidents of tantrums and social unrest within the group. While out on field trips older people always comment on what a well behaved group I have. And every time I tell them that it does not come by chance. And that response is usually met with a wink and a nod and some encouragement that my methods demonstrate their effectiveness in the polite, well-mannered children in tow.
In society bad behaviour by adults leads to banishment from the general population. I think children need to feel this effect early on in life. Always better to teach lessons correctly while young than relearning the same lessons later in life when second chances are no longer available.
We have a banishment area in my daycare. It's called the crying corner. The only reason a child visits the crying corner is if they are crying out of manipulation or when caught violating the rules to which they assume, wrongly, that crying will gain them comfort and support. A child learns early on that banishment isn't fun. The crying corner is no regular time out spot. The crying corner is located in a quiet, dark corner situated behind many other corners. Once in the crying corner the offender can not see or hear the other children. In short, they are isolated.
It's not callous to discipline children with real punishment and consequence. If anything I believe it is favourable to all children to pay for their crimes. It teaches them early on that life rewards good citizens and confines those who don't play by the rules. It's a game of life learned early.
I love them enough for them to hate me sometimes. I love them enough for other parents and blog commenters to hate me sometimes. I love them enough to not care what opinions others form of me.
As for my dog? She is the best behaved animal I know. I love her with every fiber of my heart. Any daycare child who is treated with the same discipline and respect as my dog should consider themselves loved and appreciated.
And that's the way it is. The Alpha dog has spoken.
For concerns, advice or suggestions I welcome your email at judytrickett@yahoo.ca
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