As daycare providers we have to sometimes take the blame for what is happening out there in the world of daycare. Every day I read a forum post about a demonic daycare child, a rude daycare parent or a simply pissed-off provider. When is it OUR fault? When is it time to cut the parents some slack and take a moment to reflect on our own misgivings?
The simple fact is, that as in life, your happiness in the business of daycare is dependent on you and you alone. Sure, we all have eye-popping moments of parental interaction that leave us stunned and unprepared for the sheer audacity of the events that have occurred but for the most part our happiness or lack thereof is the responsibility of us and us alone.
We teach people how to treat us. Period. You can only be treated with as much disrespect as you will tolerate and accept. If you, as a provider, want more respect from parents, to have your policies followed, to be paid on time, only YOU have the power to make that happen.
Stop being a doormat. Stop playing the victim. Stop speaking in code.
Ask for what you want; demand it; get it.
It's really that simple.
Just as we would not tolerate a child in our care treating us with disrespect neither should we tolerate it from the very parents of those children. We are in control of our destiny, our happiness and our success in daycare.
Every time we lack the courage to confront a parent who has paid us late we allow that to happen to us. We set a precedent that tells that parent that we do not think ourselves worthy of being paid on time. Every time we remain mute when a parent arrives late to pick up we train that parent that tardiness is acceptable to us. We need to stop the blame and start to walk the walk. We need to start claiming what is ours - self-worth, assertiveness and ultimate happiness.
I challenge every provider this week to find one area of daycare that frustrates them to no end. And then I ask you to really look at that situation and see where you fall short of demanding what you need or deserve. Ask yourself where you have failed YOU and are allowing the frustration to occur. You might be surprised to find that you are more than fifty percent of the problem.
Stop being the victim. Accept your part in everything that happens to you. You might be surprised to find your life, and your daycare days can be better than you ever imagined.
For concerns, advice or suggestions I welcome your email at judytrickett@gmail.com
As always Judy well written - why just today I told a parent whose tantrum induced child was yet again disrupting my end of the day bliss to 'please just pick her up and take her to the car - the rest of the group does not need to witness this and it will remove the 'power struggle' of leaving since it is really not a choice so no need to negotiate - the choice is that you leave happily or you leave but you ARE leaving! And tomorrow evening she will find herself once again sitting 'ready to go' well before mom arrives until she learns to exit my program with grace as expected ... cause if leaving mid play is to traumatic for her - I can totally accommodate that by removing the trauma by wrapping the play up in advance of home time ;)
ReplyDeleteLife is way to short to be anything less than HAPPY in your own home!
Thanks for reinforcing what I already know. We are in charge of our "company" and griping to everyone about they were late, or didn't pay on time, or rudeness is a ridiculous. We need to be professional and address the situation head-on, firm, but with respect. Model the professional behavior with calmness and directness. It always works for me and I have provided childcare for the last 15 years.
ReplyDeleteThis week I arranged to take a day off at the end of the month for my daughter's high school graduation, which I found out about only this week. It was awkward because I'd previously told them I'd have no more days off until August. (To add to the awkwardness, these are paid days off.) However, I'd have felt enormously guilty if I didn't go.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't resent the parents if I hadn't gone: why resent them for something that was MY decision? That's something that too many caregivers do all the time, and it drives me mental!
I'm curious: What are you going to address this week, Judy?
Bravo Judy!! What you said is soooo true! When I first opened my child care business, my policy handbook and rules were long and lengthy and I spelled prettymuch everything out. Now I find that as the years go by, I am more verbal and do what I tell my 2 year olds..."use your words". I have a contract that spells out payment and attnedance agreements but anything else is all about the relationship between me and the parent and I have learned to, in your words, teach people how I want to be treated. I respect them, and expect the same in return. I say something if I have an issue and work on figuring out an answer. If something isn't working for me, them or their child, we figure it out. Things are only an issue to me if I allow them to be. I am in control of MY happiness and I give parents the same set of expectations. I accept my responsibility in every situation, including the ones where I am wrong. Makes the business more fun to be in for everyone. Love your blog!
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