I was recently on a parenting/daycare forum wherein both parents and providers were discussing the protocol with regard to informing parents how was their child's day. There were as many different approaches to the relay of information as there were both providers and parents participating in the discussion. But it was one particular post that lead me to wonder - who is the primary caretaker of the very children everyone was discussing?
One particular parent thought it more than necessary for a provider to take time out of her day to complete a written report accounting for everything the child ate, any bathroom activity and general attitude of the child on any particular day. In fact, the same parent contended that any "respectful, considerate" provider would complete a written daily summary. I beg to differ.
It dawned on me while reading that particular parent's reply that the daycare provider is not given the same "respect and consideration" from the parent that is expected of them. I don't know about all providers but I can attest to the fact that many mornings I am lucky to get a "Hello, how are you this morning" from parents while dropping off their child let alone an account of everything that has happened since that child left my care a mere 14 hours ago. I can not imagine a parent coming in and handing me a written summary of everything the child ate for dinner, breakfast, how he/she slept, if in fact he/she had a bowel movement. The thought in and of itself is absurd to any parent and, I dare say, most providers.
After this train of thought I started to realize that perhaps the parents should provide us with the very information they expect at pick up each and every day. When you really start to think about the hours most full-time children spend in daycare the daycare provider, is, after all, the primary caregiver of that child.
I can feel a collective wincing, followed by raw outrage, as parents read that last line. But it's true. The math does not lie. Most children in full time daycare spend more time with a daycare provider than they do their own parents. And, of course, this does not take into consideration any time a child might spend with a grandparent or teenage babysitter on the weekend while their parents run errands, go on a date etc..
Full-time children in daycare spend, on average 45-50 hours a week in the care of a provider. Those same children, when factoring in waking hours, are lucky to spend 30-40 hours a week with their parents. It's sad but it's also true.
Who then, is the primary caretaker? Who then should be relaying information to whom? Perhaps that which is asked of the provider should equally be given by the parent.
I understand that parents miss much of their child's youth while working to maintain a home and a lifestyle. I also understand a parent's need to understand the events of their child's day. But to place their demands for written communication under the guise of what is deemed as "respectful and considerate" is unfair. Let's be honest here; the reason most parents want the information is NOT because they necessarily want to know how much their child pooped but because they realize, with clarity, that the only way they will truly know their child's early years is to get it second hand from a daycare provider. That is not a judgemental remark but an observation and an urge to parents to at least be honest with their feelings instead of deferring their emotional fragility onto the provider.
Parents need to understand that child CARE is a shared responsibility. Simply handing over a cheque to a daycare provider each and every week does not buy you, the parent, a guilt-free life. You are not paying for therapy. That cheque pays for the wonderful care of your child. Give the provider a break. Instead of asking her to spend time filling out paperwork just talk to her like a normal human being. You might be surprised what she could tell you about your little miracle that she would not take time to write down on that precious piece of paper.
For concerns, advice or suggestions I welcome your email at judytrickett@gmail.ca
Judy, that was a fantastic read! I worked at a center that required that the teachers write daily detailed notes for all of the kids every day. It's a challenge to make the time to do tedious paperwork and it was a waste of paper as well. I find that it's just as easy to tell parents about their child's day at pick up time. I wonder sometimes if the parents who want the daily report so much are the parents who don't have their child's routines and habits figured out yet. If that's the case, then I don't mind taking the time to do the sheet but I don't want it to be about respect or any other bull crap reason.
ReplyDeleteAwesome read as always ... I did 'eat, sleep and poop' sheets for decades in centres - and while I can understand that the perceived 'need' for written communication in a centre is different because there are so many shifts and the provider you drop off to in the morning is NOT the provider you pick up from at night so written communication is more useful so that messages are not 'forgotten' during the pass of children to the next provider ... however recording THAT information I can tell ya is not accurate 95% of the time anyway - most centres I ever worked in the things got filled out at start of quiet time for the whole day in mass and often by a staff member who was not even with a child over their meal time to know for sure if they ate and how much - providers GUESSED what did or did not happen in the morning or what would happen in the afternoon cause there was no time later to fill them out so what a waste a time for both the provider and the family!
ReplyDeleteI am all for paying attention to CHANGES in eating, sleeping and pooping habits in children as it is a useful tool for detecting illness or concerns - my last centre we had finally given up the dreaded 'what I did today sheet' and instead we kept charts in washroom around 'excretions' for parents to check at the end of the day and a menu was posted so they know what was offered meal wise and quiet time was the same time every day so it was assumed that they indeed ate and slept at some point in the program - and unless they were told 'otherwise' that there was a concern around meal or sleep routine all ways assumed good ;)
In the scheme of the early years is this really the information that is truly needed to be permanently recorded for posterity - this is the information that makes use 'respectful and considerate' - seriously unless there is a problem to pass on what a waste of time and paper and if there WERE a problem parents seriously want to read about it on some little slip of paper? Is that not something they would rather get a phone call or meeting about with the actual provider face to face???
However when it comes to 'documentation' this is why I love my digital camera and technology cause it creates 'living documentation' of what matters to both children and clients in a program - that a child is happy, engaged and thriving - this is the information I choose to I record for parents and this is what is shared with them via electronic means throughout the day or week or month and THIS IME has way more value for me to take the time to record it cause selfishly it also serves as 'advertizing tool' to prospective new clients to see the program 'in action'...if I have a concern about a child I prefer to invest my time in TALKING to the parent about rather than writing it down ;)
Plus IME clients are way more inclined to take the time to read this style of documentation - a photo or series of shots and a short description of what was happening cause it has way more meaning to both the child and the parent to share how much fun they saw the child had painting or finding a particular cool bug on our walk that day while they are finally sitting down to dinner - much much nicer than discussing if they pooped or not ... IMO if we want to be 'respectful and considerate' providers lets ensure we are investing our precious time in the things that matter most - the children's early years experience not wasting it on something that ends up in the recycle bin cause at the end of the day if they are thriving in the program one can assume than that their basic needs of eating, sleeping and pooping have indeed been met ;)
Excellent! I used to provide written info when I first started childcare, but I found that verbally telling the parents about their child's day was sufficient. I personally do not have the time to hand write detailed notes as well as note the time I changed a baby, fed a baby, burped a baby, etc. Not to mention all the other activities we do in a complete day as well as what we ate for breakfast, lunch, and snacks.
ReplyDeleteI think parents that expect written info are in a power play to let us know that they think they are in charge and that we work for them.
On the contrary, we are partners working TOGETHER in the best interest of the child. I agree, I find it hard to get any information as to what happened the night before or the weekend. They are not forthcoming if their precious darling was ill or didn't sleep and refused to eat. Note... that is why little Johnny is so out of sorts the next day. Who knew?
Schools do not give a detailed account when kids are in kindergarten or elementary school. We only get comments during a parent/teacher conference or if our kid is misbehaving. I am totally for providing a time after initial contract and during the year for a formal conference, when I can give more time and more information as to the child's development and cognitive abilities. To me this is a lot better than giving a two minute dissertation.
A second thought,
I've chosen to give my parents a written report, whether they want them or not. Sometimes I am scrambling to get them done by pickup, but I continue.
ReplyDeleteI have had quite a few little ones who either develop food allergies or begin with them that my reports become invaluable to the parents, doctors and myself. When a parent asks me," Did Tommy have strawberries last week?" Chances are, I won't remember!
When our days are so busy, I don't always notice if one of my kids are not eating or pooping normally. However, when I look back at they day it's right there in front of me. So these reports are not just for them. I care for these kids as if they were my own, and it's one way I can make sure everyone is healthy and eating well etc...
You are absolutely correct. I realise that myself, as a Mother of three children, that to give then what I so feel to be important to them, I'm actually... missing them. What greater crime can a parent commit then to leave their child(ren) with a person they've knew for maybe a few conversations before placing the most important treasure they posses with a complete stranger. I feel bad about this, but I cannot be angered or hurt by this because I know it's the truth, and I know it's the hard reality. Our children need us, and the only thing we can do about it is go to work to make more money to give them the things (material possesions) we think they want when in reality, all they want is our undivided attention.
ReplyDeleteI realise now that not only am I affecting the lives of my children, but the lives of those who take care of them.
I do not demand a written letter, I do not demand anything of the daycare professionals, the only thing I ask is that you keep my little ones safe and happy while I go to work or school to try to make ends meet.
I do not say this with sarcasim or disgust, nor do I intend to sound that way, but I think it's just a hard fact to face; our children need us and all we can do is...walk away.
I love reading about the insight from the caretakers point of view.
Thank you for your blog, I look forward to more posts in the future :)
-Joenelle
SunshineX0XX.....
ReplyDeleteWell said. I love hearing the parents perspective. And to be honest, if MORE parents were like you I would have nothing to blog about. Keep up being the understanding, eye-wide-open parent that you obviously are!
Kudos.