Comments on What Do I Know; I'm Just The Babysitter: Expect And You Will Receive

I applaud you on your take on the developmental re...

2009-10-15T22:50:40.398-04:00

I applaud you on your take on the developmental responsibilities of your children. i agree with you on this point that parents of this generation should allow their children to experience the reality of life and help them grow into a stable and reality prepared child. Many parents now baby their children too much with the notion that "protecting" them from the reality of life for as long as they can is actually helpful in the long run.

I too have a little girl, just over 2, in my care ...

2009-10-09T14:38:59.756-04:00

I too have a little girl, just over 2, in my care that has mom just perplexed. You see with me, she goes willingly up and down stairs, follows directions, sits quietly in TO if she needs to, and in general, aside from horrible whining, does just great. But when mom comes to get her, all these independant attributes just slip away...hmmm... Mom just can't figure it out as she bends over to pick up darling little girl and over coddle her the minute the little one demands it by crying and shrieking. Hmmmm... I wonder why...?....

Okay, previous poster with the pants boy here. Th...

2009-10-09T10:32:20.495-04:00

Okay, previous poster with the pants boy here. That sucked. This kid is too comfortable with me and thinks I'm his mama or something. He put his pants on but that was way too much time out of my life for something stupid like that. How do I fix it? Mom is getting ready to have a baby so I think he is regressing a bit, but this is stupid. Glad I have to time to sit my butt down and write about it though.
Sigh. I'm going to turn some clothes inside out so we can practice turning them right side out.

I'm sitting on a chair at my bathroom door on ...

2009-10-09T09:58:16.650-04:00

I'm sitting on a chair at my bathroom door on my laptop "monitoring" a three year old that is refusing to put his pants back on.
"Mommy does it for me, I can't!" I know perfectly well that he can, but here I sit with this stupid situation over who is going to give in first. It won't be me, but I really hate this. And yes, he gets carried in most mornings, ope, picking up the pants, nope he threw them away, now he's singing the alphabet. I'm reminding him when he puts his pants on he can go back to play. uh-uh. ARRRRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!

A good general rule of thumb is to not do anything...

2009-10-09T00:03:52.719-04:00

A good general rule of thumb is to not do anything for a child that he can do himself. Now if we could only teach it to the parents!

I have kids bringing their parents old cell phones...

2009-10-08T23:15:47.473-04:00

I have kids bringing their parents old cell phones here all the time. I've made comment too on how they really shouldn't have these old phones because if a kid were to dial 911 on an old phone, in Saskatchewan, and probably other places, even on an inactive phone, the operator is still called. Who cares if little Johnny likes looking at his daddy's old pictures on the phone, take it away from the kid for God's sake! I have a very classic case of daycare guilt here and this kid only comes freaking 4 days per month usually! But the mom just feels so horrible bringing her kids here and it's so sad that mommy has to go to work, no wonder the kids cry all the time, and we are talking 3 and 5 yr olds. and now that the 5 yr old goes to school every second day, there are a couple days per month where just the 3 yr old comes and it is devastating to him, he can't possibly survive without his mom or his sister. For a year now I have struggled with this boy, trying to get him to put his own runners on....A freaking year! But what can I do when I only have him a few days per month???? A whole year has gone by and he has the same pair of shoes, nothing has changed, mom and dad still do everything for him. Well today he almost fell over when he realized he can actually put on his own jacket. He is the kid who sits on the floor playing with his shoes and all summer long he'd just go outside without his shoes. I tried timing him out on the step with his shoes saying if you can put them on you can go and play but that didn't even work. Now the trouble is, the runners are getting small so it's hard even for ME to get the shoes on his feet so no wonder he doesn't want to do it!!! I just say thank heavens I only have to deal with this a couple of days a month. I am so happy the parents put him in preschool once morning a week. I was pumping him up for that all summer saying how the teacher would be very very busy and wouldn't possibly have time to put on 15 kids shoes on each day but that didn't ever help!

I don't think each generation is getting dumbe...

2009-10-08T19:18:21.276-04:00

I don't think each generation is getting dumber, but definitely more dependant. They know how to "work the system." If you had someone following you around at your beck and call, wouldn't you take advantage of it too? Kids are not being prepared for the real world and parents certainly have an undying need to be needed.

I have a 2.5 year old boy who's mom bought him shoes 2 sizes too big because he wouldn't take them off at the store, who's mom keeps buying him new jackets because he just "won't" wear certain ones, who came one day with a real-looking sampler phone from Futureshop that the saleslady said she should just take because he made such a fuss over giving it back, who gives me his soother as soon as mom leaves but who knows he can shove it back in as soon as she comes back. Who is the boss here??????

The kid has all the power. No wonder he is so whiny when she is here, he has no idea what to do with so much control. But he is fine with me, self sufficient and proud of it. But then this mom has daycare and divorce guilt so lord help this kid.

Great post Judy, you hit the nail on the head with...

2009-10-08T18:29:21.164-04:00

Great post Judy, you hit the nail on the head with this one.

Daycare guilt is quite the phenomenom! And many p...

2009-10-08T16:48:14.615-04:00

Daycare guilt is quite the phenomenom! And many parents have it for sure. I'm fortunate to have most of my parents encourage and inspire independence in their kids. But it's the one's that don't that whine at the schools and centres and end up making administrators change their policies. Squeaky wheels get the grease, kwim?

This post makes me think of the youtube video floating around about the school in Australia's answering machine.
(to lie about your child's absence, press one;
to make excuses about why your child didn't do their homework, press two...) Here's a link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pwghabw4N80

Common sense ain't always that common. Good post Judy!

Ahhhh daycare guilt, so glad I will never suffer f...

2009-10-08T15:33:44.361-04:00

Ahhhh daycare guilt, so glad I will never suffer from it :0)And so vrey true, I swear it is directly propertional to the amount of time spent in care. The parents of my part-time kids aren't nearly as bad as the parents of my full-timers. I think ultimately parents need to feel needed. I remeber once reassuring a new mom whose little guy was crying at drop off that in a week dcb would be running in to play and wouldn't want to leave. And she said "oh no, he's very attached to me". WTF???? this child is one of the smiliest, most easy going kids in my care but whenever mom is here he burst into inconsolable tears about anything and everything and she basks in the warmth of feeling like she is needed. It took her 30 minutes the other day to coax this 2 yo to allow his shoes to be put on.

I've got one little guy here that just turned ...

2009-10-08T15:15:02.541-04:00

I've got one little guy here that just turned 2, I've taught him to get his shoes and coat on by himself. So now when his mother tries to do it for him he throws a fit lol. She hates it, I just stand there with a smile on my face, thinking good for him.

It does seem like you read all our minds! I'm...

2009-10-08T15:04:30.867-04:00

It does seem like you read all our minds! I'm so frustrated every single day with these twin boys in my care. They are 4 1/2 and when it's time to get ready to go to school, to go outside, to go home and even to take off their shoes when we come back from school...it is such a chore for them, and me - if I just leave them to get ready on their own, I'll find them just sitting and playing with their shoes or their feet!!! They complain and whine that they can't do it and that mommy does it for them, I have to constantly tell them - put your shoes on, ok, now put on your jacket, get your hat, put on your backpack- and then it's the same thing when we get back from outside but in reverse - ok take off your shoes, take off your jacket...!!!! When they're here, I will not do it for them and their parents know that but when mom picks them up, she does it for them - and yes she whines along with them - it's ok, I'll help you. AHHHHH!!!
Their dad is finally not helping them when he picks them up - there's a lot of whining from them though. How do I tell their mom, again, without offending her and in a way that she'll understand she's not helping. them.

Great post Judy!! I love when my daycare parents c...

2009-10-08T14:56:14.613-04:00

Great post Judy!! I love when my daycare parents comment to me how they cant believe that my youngest daughter could put on her shoes, coat, hats and mitts all by herself when she was just 2 years old. I allowed her the opportunity to learn self help skills and promote independency and I wouldnt have it any other way. I think you hit the nail on the head about daycare guilt. And oh how many times have I heard dcp's say that their little one was upset so they just did it for them. *banging my head here*

Well - I have a little Johnny here at my place (al...

2009-10-08T14:50:30.233-04:00

Well - I have a little Johnny here at my place (almost 2 years old) he cleans up toys, puts on his (velcro shoes), undoes his shoes and removes them, can ask me without whining for a specific food item or toy out of reach - none of the above are attempted or accomplished without tears or even a temper tantrum at home though! SHEESH
(I'm glad he's the way he is for me - nice...!)

I agree wholeheartedly! Children are natrual born ...

2009-10-08T14:29:13.909-04:00

I agree wholeheartedly! Children are natrual born manipulators and it is the job of parents and caregivers to teach children that they can and will do the job themselves, not teach them how to manipulate grown-ups.
I love the kids in my care and laugh to myself when the parents say their 2 year old won't sit on the potty at home for them, so they don't try. But that same child won't have one change of diaper all day at my house.

BRAVO!!! Judy! BRAVO!!! You seem to read my mind. ...

2009-10-08T14:21:59.782-04:00

BRAVO!!! Judy! BRAVO!!!
You seem to read my mind. Parents do most things for the kids without giving them a chance to practice growing up on their own. I'm tired of parents who can't/won't say no when a child wants to bring in toys/blankies/food/chocolate milk from home when it clearly states "No outside food or toys from home." They carry their 3 year old to my door, take off their shoes and then their coats; drives me nuts. Don't they realize that it's their child's right to be taught how to do things for themselves? I too whince(sp?)at the sight of parents doing everything including changing a 3 year olds diapers or trying to pry a bottle from a 3 year old's hands cause Kimmy's mean and won't let the darned kid into my place with her blanket/bottle and soother! Yikes!

Great post again - my days are lovely with a group...

2009-10-08T14:10:54.799-04:00

Great post again - my days are lovely with a group of children all under 3 years old...no whining, just happy and confident little people!

Would a diaper by any other name smell as sweet?

Qwerty