Comments on What Do I Know; I'm Just The Babysitter: Sleep, Baby, Sleep

Sorry - have to disagree with your stance on '...

2009-10-20T22:58:18.129-04:00

Sorry - have to disagree with your stance on 'if they don't nap they don't stay' and have to say I'm very happy that my DCP didn't take that stance! IMHO, there isn't a "one size fits all" approach to anything in life. My DS was always a fantastic sleeper - at home and at our DCPs home - and just before he turned 3, if he would nap during the day - he would not sleep until 10-11pm! We and our DCP tried everything - letting him nap longer, cutting his nap time back to 30 minutes etc. - the only solution that worked, was keeping him awake. Then, he would actually fall asleep when put to bed at his regular time (7:30). I've always been a "schedule Nazi", and actually modified my weekend and holiday schedule to be consistent with the DCP's schedule, and instituted firm nap times and firm bedtimes since DS (and then DD) were born - so it pained me to have to "switch it up" - but thankfully, our DCP worked with us, changing DS's naptime to quiet time (consistent with her older DCK - he could have books to look at, watch TV, play his Leapster) - and within 2 weeks, we had a happy boy who didn't nap at all, but had quiet time every afternoon (which we also did at home on weekends and holidays!) and was fast asleep within 30 minutes or less of his head hitting that pillow!

Again, IMHO - I think consistency with home and daycare routines (and rules!!) is key to a harmonious relationship - and happy children!

As a parent (not a childcare provider) I know I am...

2009-10-20T13:28:44.353-04:00

As a parent (not a childcare provider) I know I am desperate for my children to nap, so why should my DCP deserve any less? I am not a fan of CIO, because I personally could not do it. BUT my first DCP used that technique on my son, who cried and refused to nap for the first 6 weeks...she was a saint to continue on with him that long, and after the 6 weeks he became an awesome sleeper and still is 2 years later....I dread the day he no longer needs a nap and that day will be decided by my DCP at her home because I am not about to ask her to work a full day with no break. That would be cruel to any one!!

I have a 12 month old in care whose mother rarely ...

2009-10-19T13:53:36.757-04:00

I have a 12 month old in care whose mother rarely naps her. When she comes here, she's so exhausted that sometimes she sleeps nearly all day long. It's terrible. Babies need sleep. Period. Who cares if they whine and fuss...you have to overcome that and get a proper nap routine in place. it's better for your child to be fresh, rested and happy. Tired babies are miserable babies.

Great post Judy! I have a 2.5 year old in care wh...

2009-10-19T09:25:38.970-04:00

Great post Judy! I have a 2.5 year old in care who's mom insists does not need a nap and does not nap at home. Three days a week a 3 hour nap is taken, no fuss. Non napers (older children) watch a movie for quiet time. We all need that time!
rsmom

laudryduchess: Keep in mind you are in the US and ...

2009-10-16T15:14:19.767-04:00

laudryduchess: Keep in mind you are in the US and you guys only have a three month mat leave, right? So yeah, CIO is not really appropriate for a three month old. But here, where I am, in Canada we get kids at 12 months old and they have developed bad sleeping habits by then. So yeah, a lot of the time CIO is the only real option to successful nap routines.

well while I dont cry it out, I do let them fuss i...

2009-10-16T12:39:13.362-04:00

well while I dont cry it out, I do let them fuss it out. I cant say Ive ever had a "cryer" But I 99% of the time get them at birth and raise them my way. I completely believe children will grow and shape themselves into wonderful people if given the chance and direction. In every area of their lives. Learning to self soothe is a skill that is invaluable to a child. laundryduchess

Too funny! I even goggled to make sure Georgie Por...

2009-10-16T10:16:40.168-04:00

Too funny! I even goggled to make sure Georgie Porgie sand that song! Just shows you the internet does not know all! teehee.

Okay, you got me. I was wrong. Hey, it has to happen ONCE in a lifetime, doesn't it! LOL!

My rules exactly...All children sleep-quiet time!!...

2009-10-16T08:39:41.645-04:00

My rules exactly...All children sleep-quiet time!!! Well said, as always Judy....

BTW, I was not much of a George Michal fan, but didnt Salt N Pepa sing that song???? LOL

Another way to get them to nap easier is to have t...

2009-10-15T22:18:10.111-04:00

Another way to get them to nap easier is to have them participate in a game or any kinesthetic activity that can facilitate for the excess sugar burn. Not only does this create a parasympathetic response for the child which induces the feeling of sleepiness but it allows them to feel satisfied when it comes to fulfilling their desire for play. It makes it easier to convince kids to nap.

I agree with previous posts about sending your kid...

2009-10-15T22:08:46.054-04:00

I agree with previous posts about sending your kids to daycare to help them establish good sleeping habits. We all know that children are very impressionable and at the developmental stages, many clinical studies have proven that a child will most likely foster the same behavior that another child does and this kind of training is easily reinforced in a daycare where everyone will need to go to sleep during "nappie time"

I find it very helpful in establishing early child...

2009-10-15T22:06:22.545-04:00

I find it very helpful in establishing early childhood sleeping habits to acquaint them with classical music. You can try Beethoven or some of Bach’s early works which are a bit mellow. I’ve used it on all my four children and the swaying melody works every time. Another method I use to put them to sleep is to time their meals and activities just right so that they get tired in mid afternoon just in time for a short nappie.

OMG Magma, that totally went over my head! And I&...

2009-10-15T19:08:32.987-04:00

OMG Magma, that totally went over my head! And I'm a huge 80's music fan!! Great job for keeing Judy on her toes :)

Judy, I am a mother of four young girls & prov...

2009-10-15T18:16:12.778-04:00

Judy,
I am a mother of four young girls & provided home daycare until I got pregnant with my third. I read your blog daily (& love it), but this is the first time I have to disagree with one thing in your post.
It was Salt & Peppa who sang "Let's talk about sex". George Michael had a different song about sex called "I want your sex".
Otherwise, great post.
Magma

Oh how I love quiet time in the afternoon. I only ...

2009-10-15T16:08:43.675-04:00

Oh how I love quiet time in the afternoon. I only have 2 nappers though...my dd and my other DCG do not nap but are required to sit and watch a movie so I can have a bit of quiet time. Ahmen to nap time!

I'm blessed with good nappers, but they were a...

2009-10-15T15:59:21.807-04:00

I'm blessed with good nappers, but they were all trained that way. There's always that tough transition time, but it doesn't last any longer than one or two weeks. Kids nap for me no problem but then I hear their parents horror stories. They tell me they sleep well here becauce of the crappy sleep they had at home or because jr. didn't go down until 11 pm! Oh puh-lease!! Who runs that house? Who's the friggin' adult?

One time on the todays parent forum there was a discussion on CIO. My response was very similar to Judy's above (re: not picking them up, but going in after a few minutes, laying child back down etc.) and someone wrote in response "People like you are why I will never send my child to daycare." I was shocked by her reaction and my first response was to re-evaluate what I was doing. But nope, still in my gut, I felt I was doing the right thing. I was getting ready to write "People like me THANK YOU for not bringing children like yours to daycare" when the moderator had deleted the thread because of the heat of some of the comments!

I don't think you'll find any daycare people who'll disagree with you here Judy! However, there are those parents who can't believe how cruel we are to their precious (or predominant - your choice of word here!) angels.

as a caregiver of a few 5 year olds, we do not hav...

2009-10-15T15:55:15.677-04:00

as a caregiver of a few 5 year olds, we do not have all the kids napping, one of the chldren being my own, yes he has a set bedtime at 8pm but if he was to sleep for 2 hours he would never go to bed ! All kids have a quiet time here, they are seperated from other kids and yes are allowed to watch t.v. during this time only. I am having my break and if they can't sit quietly or are acting tired they go to bed no matter what the parents say !

I think you wrote this for me today. I'd love...

2009-10-15T15:54:44.340-04:00

I think you wrote this for me today. I'd love some advice Judy, could I email you?

Amanda

I do love my afternoon "break". when els...

2009-10-15T14:57:05.023-04:00

I do love my afternoon "break". when else am i going to do dishes and the laudry, maybe prep a craft :0)
I love the happy children that I get spend the day with and most of all I love that my own dd is not sleep deprived so bedtime around here is usually pretty painless :0) Of course having bragged about it I'm sure I'm in for a doozy tonight

Well it is not quite 1 pm here. I love it that I ...

2009-10-15T14:51:17.526-04:00

Well it is not quite 1 pm here. I love it that I can feed my munchkings, and sit down to read Judy's blog usually while they eat and I try and snag a bite at this time as well. At the moment,my kids have 12 min to finish eating, wash up, do the potty thing, play, read etc beforde I put the three youngest into the beds/playpens and the older kids can sit quietly on my couch/floor/armchair and read quietly or watch cartoons (pretty much the only time my t/v is on for them. MOST of them will take this time to nap, some however do not but as long as they are quiet I am happy! Some days are pure bliss, others, not so much. Today the snow is falling gently and I 'm hoping if I turn the t.v down really low so that they have to concentrate real hard to hear it, they will all zonk out so I can throw some laundry in. It has been piling up lately!!!!!

well said Nanny!! As usual, great post Judy!!!!

2009-10-15T14:45:41.660-04:00

well said Nanny!!

As usual, great post Judy!!!!

All my children in my day home have naps. I need a...

2009-10-15T14:39:35.703-04:00

All my children in my day home have naps. I need and 'deserve' my break like everyone else. Day home providers have longer working hours than the parents who drop off there kids. So, how dare 'some' parents guilt trip us for having a quiet momment of rest and 'me' time.

Thanks for such a great post! After I had my firs...

2009-10-15T14:15:35.630-04:00

Thanks for such a great post! After I had my first child, and we were in a train-wreck state between months 5-8 b/c of AWFUL sleep habits, I made it my life's goal to become as educated about sleep for children as possible. In my opinion, the majority of children today are severely overtired and completely sleep-deprived. It bothers me to no end how uneducated parents are when it comes to their children's sleep needs. Sleep is a HUGE HUGE HUGE factor in proper development and growth both physically and emotionally. It blows my mind how many naps are skipped and bedtimes are so late (before the age of 5, 8pm is the LATEST a child should be going to bed! ), and how parents just don't care. I take pride in the fact that I strictly adhere to a child's sleep needs, no matter what their age, in my daycare. Never in a million years would I continue to care for a non-napper, it's completely unfair the provider, other children, and especially that poor little sleep-deprived child (who unfortunately will continue to be that way b/c their parents are too self-centered and ignorant to get a clue!). Anyways, thanks so much for being so vocal about sleep and children...it can't be preached enough!!!

And yes, all my munchkins are down, I am blessed with truly amazing sleepers ---2-3 hrs. every day:)

I cannot do this job without having a break in the...

2009-10-15T14:00:21.263-04:00

I cannot do this job without having a break in the afternoon. For me, working 10 hrs a day without a break is not an option.

I am growing wearing of having to explain this to potential parents. Yes, your child WILL have to nap here; yes, I WILL gradually shift her nap to coincide with my scheduled naptime; yes, your child will adjust JUST FINE; and yes, I DO need that time to find my floor, eat something and prep for the rest of the day.

Why do I always start to feel guilty when explaining the priority of naptime when it IS actually what is best for the child. It's like parents want the most bang for their buck and so we are not really "earning" our pay when their kids are sleeping. :P

Sleeping like babies for the next 1 hr. to the las...

2009-10-15T13:40:49.870-04:00

Sleeping like babies for the next 1 hr. to the last one who will wake only (bragging here, and smiling to) around 3:30 or 4:00. I have a two hr. nap then quiet time for all kids who wake earlier.

I would love to able to do this, but sadly, my hom...

2009-10-15T13:38:36.571-04:00

I would love to able to do this, but sadly, my home is tiny, and I have no room to put children down to nap in their own space, out of earshot. I have at least, gotten them all to the point where they will lie down (albeit, not sleep) for 1.5 hours on their mats and not even think about getting up. But still, its hard to unwind when you know that if you relax too much, someone could get off their mat and disrupt the silence.